Many people don’t like others all up in their business, and it’s easy to understand why. Especially when it comes to romantic relationships, most of us don’t want our private affairs to become fodder for public dissection.
I saw the recent news about Hollywood stars Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling’s secret wedding, and it got me thinking about this whole privacy thing. Though the rumour itself was denied, Mendes and Gosling are no strangers to secrecy. The couple has two children and during both pregnancies, the world was pretty much unaware that they were expecting.
Gosling and Mendes aren’t the only ones to have pulled this off. Scandal leading lady Kerry Washington, who is now expecting her second child, pretty much got married and had her first baby behind the paparazzi’s back. It seemed like she went down the road to buy bread and came back with a ring and child. You could have blinked and missed the whole thing.
These scenarios raised this question in my head. When does keeping things on the low cross the line from privacy to secrecy, or even shame? Certainly, with celebrities, you can understand the clear rationale behind closely guarding private matters. They already live their lives in the public eye, and their audiences can be ravenous. It’s a tall order to thrust a new life into that spotlight and having strangers with cameras all up in your face isn’t really conducive for emotional, life-changing moments like weddings and births.
Yet, this was the same story Iyanya used to eat Yvonne Nelson’s stew. If you’re Yoruba, you’ll understand what that means. If we believe Yvonne’s story, the Kukere master gave her the speech about keeping their relationship private because it was special, and celebrities were susceptible to amebos who would only come between them, only for her to realise that he wanted (and was enjoying) multiple waists.
Even more confusing, is Average Ade down the road forming fear of paparazzi when it’s time for you guys to hold hands in public. I’m not the hugest fan of PDA, but simple affectionate acknowledgments like a kiss here and there, or even holding hands, are hardly on the same level as having sex on the beach and making out on the side of the road. I mean, people are into different things and a wide variety of stimuli turns people on, but I doubt holding hands offers a particularly wild experience.
Or maybe Regular Remi has told you that she wants to keep things on the low because your relationship is too special to become a subject of gossip. Oshey. Keeper of Secrets. You can like to password protect your passion, and rig your texts and call history to self-destruct in five seconds like Mission Impossible.
Anyway, over to you guys. Are you with the Gosling-Mendes approach? Even more interestingly, I want to know if you’ve ever been ashamed to “claim” your partner. If so, why were you with them, you monster? On the flip side, have you willingly or unwillingly been “kept on the low”? Why did you agree to it and how long did the private arrangement last? You know the routine. Express away.