I HATE Weaves!!!

Portrait of smiling woman with curly hair

Portrait of smiling woman with curly hair

Hey people, Toolsman here. Trust we all had a great weekend. Just a week to Valentine’s Day and you know we’ve got you covered, check the flip side of this post for something special we’ve been putting together. Also, submissions for The Writer Competition ended yesterday and boy was it a mad rush. Goodluck to everyone who put in submissions, we’ll be announcing the 10 finalists at the end of the month. Now to today’s MondayRush.

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A: “I don’t think I can take it anymore!”
B: “What’s wrong now?”
A: “All these weaves on girls.  Look at that chic … ugh!”
B: “What?  What’s wrong with it?”
A: “It just looks fake.  Besides … I hate weaves and all they stand for.”
B: “Are you black?”
A: “Excuse me?  Do you know my middle name?”
B: “To be against weaves is to be against black women … and the black race all together!”

Yes people … apparently I stand in opposition of the entire black race … and all because of one thing …

I HATE WEAVES!

It started so long ago too.  When I was in high school, a girl came into school one day with long braids going down her back.  The boys in the class found this odd as she had short and straight hair the day before.  Being the natural born leader that I am, I started the interrogation with “What happened to your hair?”  After she explained it had been purchased, I suddenly remembered something I had heard before and loudly stated my conclusion, “you have horse hair in your head!  There is some poor horse running around without a tail right now, unable to swat flies of its butt.” (I was mean … sue me).  She tried feebly to explain you could buy human hair or synthetic … but it was too late … too late for her … too late for me.

This continued through college as I learned more about these artificial lies to the world.  For a long long time … the thought of putting another human’s hair in your head disgusted me.  And most important… your hair ain’t that long!  You see me stuffing socks in my pants , as if there was anymore room down there? Stop with the lies!

The conclusion to this lifelong detestment … Chris Rock’s “Good Hair”.

Not to ruin the movie for you, but Indian woman as part of a religious ceremony give up their hair to show they are living for more than worldly possessions.

And what happens to the hair that meant so much to them … ends up in a bag on the wall of a beauty store … and then sewn into Shrarefatitee’s head.

*sigh*

Weaves are a lie to the world.

Yeah … a lie!

I understand we all do things to look better, but the only bigger visual lies out there require several hours at the hands of a skilled plastic surgeon.  And actually, that’s less of a lie because once he is done … it’s part of your body.  It can’t be snatched out by the crazy chic who your man has been sleeping with for the past three months and decides to teach you a lesson for walking in on their “hide the sausage” session some girl.

And women … think of us men when you get these extensions put in … please.

When I spoon, I don’t want to be face first in the discarded hair cells of some other person several thousands miles away.  When I am giving you the bidness, to the 16th degree, and I reach to pull your face back, I don’t want to come back with a hand full of hair in my hand.  When I am granted entry to the dirty dug out for the first time, I don’t want you to pull back your lace-front and expose to me eddie munster.

It’s just not fair …

So, as one dating but not yet married male … heed what I say.  Women, shed off those dead horses that adorn your scalp and lie to the world.  Let your inner nappiness (or professional permedness) show through.

I know you can do it …

Feel me???

This is not the super pro natural hair post (although I do love it) and this isn’t the “weaved women hate themselves” post.  This is the “I don’t like women who never ever wear their own hair” post.  Not badmouthing perms now or even those wearing transitional weaves (as their hair grows out) … but this is aimed at the self-proclaimed weave queens.  I love you … but … kill yo hair!

Post via SBM

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So there you have it. One question to start off with today. Guys, do you really really notice the hair on women? Can you tell the difference between synthetic and human hair? If not, they do you wonder why women fuss over hair? Also, not to bring up the team natural vs weave debate but is it really about natural hair vs weaves or do you just want to see your ‘woman’s’ natural hair from time to time? To the women, why all the fuss about hair? A lot of you say it’s mostly about the guys but is it.. really? You know the drill, use the comment box to express you.

love_letter

41 Comments

  • nijezie says:

    first.

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  • toborex says:

    ヾ(-_- )ゞ weaves weaves… I really don't like how some ladies have submitted themselves to the fake hair shrine. I mean. I love to see the natural hair on a lady any day any time. Be a it a full head of hair or the 'Half-fro'..

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  • ladetawak says:

    i actually hate weaves. haven't done them in like 6 years. I prefer to braid my hair or plait it. I think girls do it because it's easier to do and remove and takes less time to do and undo. braids can take up to 9 hours to do.

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  • Tip says:

    I'm indifferent .. It's all about what makes a woman feel good with herself. If you're confident with your natural hair, good for you & if you like weaves, good for you.
    I like me a woman who knows what she wants & goes for it.,
    PS. I really can't tell the difference the expensive & cheap weaves

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  • Amah says:

    I think most women(myself inclusive) fix weaves firstly to look good &feel confident about ourselves,secondly for our fellow females(its only another female that would know if what you have on your hair is original brazillian,indian or malaysian or if its plain chocolate or remi) and lastly for the male folks(even though in my opinion,a lot of them don't notice provided your overall look is good). I am particularly not a weave person cos I like to go on my natural hair sometimes and I don't see anything bad in having weaves on your hair provided its the right length(not those ones that look like they are Rapunzel and they need to let down their hair) and it also looks good on the person but I have to admit that Naija gals are over doing it.

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  • danittie says:

    yea…i agree with Amah. Nothing wrong with weaves really as long as it sits right. No rapunzels and it doesn't have to start from your eyebrow. I am not a great weave lover as I hate to always flip and brush but if its your thing, then by all means, u rock it (in moderation). Finally, of course its to opress our fellow girls…d guys can't tell d difference. Even I can't tell d difference btwn brazillian, cambodian or peruvian but I can definitely tell a noble from human hair.

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  • Chinedu says:

    Like every other story… It started with the west media. The white icons that graced the Soap Operas then had the crown of hair & it subconsciously stuck.

    Weave is just 1 of the many fashion issues black people need to come together as one and outgrow.

    I watched Good Hair… I was sad! We don’t even own the business!

    My 2 Cents!

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  • AmyOxChambo says:

    Loooooooooooooool
    Ehhhhh Tula!

    You can lie ohhh

    So you lied about weaves in that interview on thisday style

    Kai shege! Dan buro!

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  • Chychy says:

    LOL. This argument never gets old…
    I really do not like weaves & only do them as a matter of necessity where I have an important engagement and I have to look extra good. Other than that, it's my natural hair and/or wig. I really don't get the craze for expensive artificial hair. I don't like synthetic either. There are relatively cheap weaves that aren't synthetic or human hair that look really really ice e.g., Noble Classic. Then again, most ladies' 'sexiness' ends when they remove their weaves. Explains why they love really long weaves which in my opinion isn't necessary.

    *cues in I Am Not My Hair- India Arie*

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  • kenile says:

    I like them all. I fix weaves, plait braids and rock my natural hair. It all depends on how I want to look. I prefer to rock my natural hair but sometimes, it gets tiring.

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  • @Phransea says:

    On the contrary my boo loves weaves so much it amazes me. whenever i go see him with my natural hair he gives me this ridiculous look like what's this on your head. I love weaves but sometimes i love to rock my natural hair and allow it breath. So for me its mostly for my boo cos he loves it.

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  • reine_laglace says:

    A guy, telling girls what to do with their own hair? Odi egwu.

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    • thetoolsman says:

      erm.. don't you guys tell us what to do with everything? Even our own money?

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      • reine_laglace says:

        Well…if he's paying for the hair, then why not? Nobody has ever complained about what I do with/to my hair…not to me sha. But I think in this case, whatever rocks your boat should be fine: weaves, braids, mala or natural.

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  • k3hinde says:

    I hate weaves and all they stand for. I believe them unnecessary and especially the ‘synthetic’ ones, overpriced. It does absolutely nothing for cuddling. Nothing sweeter than spooning your woman and having her own natural negroid hair rubbing all up your chin. And then when you tell your female friend that men don’t necessarily care for what you sew onto your scalp, they hit you with the “I’m doing it for me” line.

    I say Death to Weaves.

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  • k3hinde says:

    Wait. Which one is weave again sef?.

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  • Tori says:

    “you have horse hair in your head!  There is some poor horse running around without a tail right now, unable to swat flies of its butt.”

    LMAOOOOOOO!

    This post is too funny! Got me laughing out loud in class.

    I have beautiful hair, but combing it everyday?! No nah! It gets boring. Plus Nigerian weather is not good for hair. It will break. So rock your weaves all you will, but give your natural hair a breather every now and then. As long as your weave looks good, and you keep your hair clean, no problem with that.

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    • chidi says:

      false. Effects of weather can be combatted with good hair practices – one of which is to avoid combing your hair everyday.
      I understand it being boring once in a while. When that happens I go to youtube n check out new ways to fix my mane.

      With a little research, you can rock the hair on your head through any weather situation

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    • lily says:

      Hmmmm, Nigerian weather not good for the hair like abeg speak for urself. My hair never used to break d 20yrs I spent in naija, den 6months thru autumn&winter, my hair starts to fall like am suffering from serious hair loss disease. Weave-on’s has become a mini god worshipped by Nigerian girls and d crave to own d human hair baffles mi till date. D gross effect it has on deir hairline shld give dem a reason to slow down but na lie. This men can’t be bothered abt all d fakeness, from hair to nails to eyelashes.

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  • 'Fay says:

    he's lying,,… he doesn't hate it.

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  • richie says:

    as long as your hair doesn't make my face itch whenever we hug, quite indifferent really. then again, when you decide to rock your natural hair and you already way way bald, lol, babanla deal breaker

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  • niyoola says:

    I fix weaves, braid my hair and rock my own hair.
    The issue I think guys have with weaves are:
    1. when the hair is obviously synthetic and very fake looking.
    2. When brazilian/other foreign human weaves are fixed in such a way, u are sure 100 people shaved their hair for 1 person!
    3. When the style fixed is unnecessarily flamboyant and gets in the way of everything. Hair gets in your mouth, people suffer whiplash when you toss your head

    Its ridiculous. Some ladies have weaves worth 100k on their heads and end up looking like ‘never-been-shaved shaggy dog’.

    Most times, when I fix human hair, most guys can’t tell. The hair is usually my hair colour and a moderate length.
    I have no issues rocking natural hair, but the weather here doesn’t make me enthusiastic about it. With the humidity, I have to keep straightening it which will weaken it; harmattan means breakage and split ends.
    Between every 6/8-week retouching, I rock my natural hair for 2 weeks.

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  • Bee says:

    I rock my natural kinky hair (locs).
    I've gotten mostly positive and then some negative comments.
    Before I started dating my boo, one dude I was with told me "Did he run his hands through your hair while making out with you? , after I told him some dude was like my hair was wack! :-)
    My boo just loves me the way I am ( I think he would be happier with slightly bigger boobs…hmn).
    And most chicks just say, oh you're really brave for doing this, and I'm like you can if you really want to!
    And I save some mad-arse money on not having to go to the salon.
    I can't say I hate weaves on other people, I'ld just rather not have it on my head….

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  • @Sirkastiq says:

    LOL You guys..

    Weaves and all that don't bother me really. As long as you look good. Rock em! Also ladies don't exactly wear the weaves all the time, sometimes, they take it off and allow the natural hair 'breathe'

    Truth is; most of a female's body adornments are done because of a guy (directly or Indirectly) While they may not agree, it's true. A lady may say "No, I do it to look better than other girls and be happy with myself" What this really means is "I do it so that i can compete for whatever my 'mates' are competing for without feeling inferior" Most times, it's a man.

    I love natural hair especially the feel of the hands running through them (things we learned in Science class -__-) but if you've got your weave on, as long as it doesn't hinder that, I'm cool.

    The real problem Tula is WIGS!!!!

    I mean, you see your girl looking all good and shit, and just as you are about to retire for the night, baby reaches to her head and takes off what you thought was permanently attached to her head.
    That shit is enough to trigger a heart attack and kill a nigga off faster than the smell from Cossy's armpits.

    What's worse is if the hair under looks like a clipper with incomplete bladeS ran through it. Dear Lord, The HORROR!!

    Death to wigs!

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    • Tiki says:

      lol, what did wigs ever do to you?

      I went to sleep in a wig once, coz I was at a potential's house and didn't know how to take it off! I love wigs coz I can give my hair a breather (aka not comb it when I'm late for work).

      Current boo actually likes running (or dragging, more like) his hands through my 'fro…he says he likes the squishy feel and the elasticity. Nothing like that to make a girl go a month with her 'fro! Plus it's different, and I like different.

      I guess my bottom line is, if it fits, wear it. Wig, weave or natural, as long as it looks good, smells and IS clean, and you didn't have to sleep around to afford it, what's the harm?

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    • FeyA says:

      Omg, i seriously feel you when it comes to wigs. I had a discussion with a group of guys recently about girls taking off their wigs at night and they all said they didn't mind. but personally i hate wigs, I'm not a hug fan of weaves either but i don't mind them

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  • jiji129 says:

    Lol very funny post. Go natural yeah? My sis is very pretty but her hair has refused to grow past 6 inches long not to talk of the front that’s semi bald ,no product not even the natural aloevera or ori has been able to revive the hair plus she has the will smith ears hahaha and she should go natural abi.

    Majority of Afican women don’t have the flowing long hair or fellow women who are caucasian or indian have,our hair is also thick and hard and difficult to maintain (thanks to relaxer for changing that)weaves and braids are our saviour,it helps to enhance our beauty same way makeup does. These so called expensive peruvian and brazillian hair tho have become a status statement, trust Nigerians to overdo everything.

    You might not like it now but by the time your woman decides to go completely natural for like 1month you’ll be forced to send her to the salon.

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    • chidi says:

      African women are NOT meant to have long, flowy hair! If they were, that sort of hair would spring forth from their scalps.
      Until we learn to accept the hair on our heads we won't move forward. Some research will teach every woman what she must do to care for her hair.

      Perhaps your sister over/under used those products. Perhaps she didn't stick with them long enough. Perhaps her hair doesn't even like those products n she should experiment with other ones. There are a number of reasons why her hair growth coulda stunted. Perhaps she should just comb less n protective style more.
      I say all this cause i was born with a natural half head (riri has nothing on me) n hair apparently tougher than iron sponge. But taking care of my hair so far has been relatively easy (took me 3 tries spanning 4yrs to get it right?

      With proper care relaxed hair can also thrive.

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      • Annie says:

        I agree totally with what u've said expect the very beginning. There're videos all over YouTube of pure African chics with long flowing locks, both natural & relaxed. It's all down to care. We just need to figure out what works & stick to that.

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      • jiji129 says:

        I didn’t say African women were meant to have long flowy hair, I only gave my perspective and opinion,that you are going natural and others prefer weaves doesn’t mean they don’t accept themselves,get off your high horse. If you really wanna go there why don’t you quit with the makeup ,artificial nails and lotion. Respect other peoples opinion and don’t be a Hypocrite

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    • chidi says:

      i apologize for the bible I just wrote. I just don't like people to blame poor hair growth on the weather etc.
      When the real problems include poor hair practices n expecting our hair to be something it's not.

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  • Damie says:

    Oga, what is your business with what other females have on their heads? If you don’t like weaves, date only girls that don’t use them or ask your gf/wife not to use weaves. Simple.

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  • Chinonye says:

    I tire o. All these men seff…hmph!
    I'll wear whareva I like. To heaven with you and what you like/don't. No one's gonna live uncomfortably for his/her fellow being.

    Puhleease…

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  • bilkisses says:

    1st of all, I’m very indifferent about it. Love to use it tho, cos it makes me feel different when I want to be. + Very funny… Is it still the weave ish or something else? Confess now o. Btw, just a quick question @toolsman, have u ever dated a “scripture union” babe?…since they’re literarily the ones that don’t use weaves. If not, if your last 3 babes (and prolly present) use ’em, then next post please. *wide grin*

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  • Kopho Jomo says:

    Well I see this from two sides for the ladies. First, most guys love their babes to look good (show-offs). Then the lady has to subject herself to rigorous processes of tacking weaves onto their scalp and one thing most guys don’t know is the pain and discomfort most ladies undergo to have weaves on (talk about mean hair stylists and their needles). Then you say “why doesn’t she leave the hair the way God made it”; this leads to the other side. She doesn’t because leaving her hair natural is a lot of work especially when your hair is as “nappy” or kinky as can be, trust me. If she then results to relaxers and other chemicals, she is subject to scalp burns and receding hairline in the future.
    So what would you have us do? Every lady for herself, mehn. Do what suits you!!! I know guys that now value babes by the price of their weaves or the country it emanated from :D

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  • polar says:

    bottom line is MIND YO BUSINESS! weaves or no, there are more important things in this life…

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  • maya davies says:

    Hian…this debate really never gets old
    @thetoolsman won't u get tired if ur babe Neva changes and she just packs her natural hair for d rest of her life…

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  • @HotPikin says:

    Well, I believe this whole "issue" is a matter of choice. Now, you really do have a problem with it then I suggest you simply stay away from ladies who wear weaves :)

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  • Onyinye says:

    LOL!i believe only rich or rather well-to-do people should go natural cause the cost of truly maintaining it and looking good with it is sorta high. Most of these natural people look dirty really but if you can work the whole natural thing,that’s alright but you poor ones should please perm your hairs(jeez). I love weaves btw but if my hair were really longer and what not(it’ll still be permed,my natural hair isn’t the soft kind),i’d probably were less weaves but i just can’t go completely natural,I’d rather just cut my hair.And girls do a whole lot of things 70% cause of other girls.

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