I have been married for 9 years and I have always cheated on my wife. As a girlfriend, my wife f*cked me anytime, anywhere and anyway I wanted. As a wife, she is still freaky but only within the four walls of our bedroom.
I believe we have an above average sex life; we shag at least 4 times a week sometimes 6. But I am unfaithful to her, and I can tell you for free, infidelity has very little to do with a person’s partner. Do not believe the myth that if you are hot, sexy and give your man great sex, he won’t cheat.
Men marry the most beautiful women, get her pregnant and get themselves a side chick. A wife is for have a beautiful woman to call a wife, have children and keep a home –the 80%. A side chick is for all the other fun stuff in life – the 20%.
Another myth that needs to be demystified is, not all men cheat. Some men are serial cheats, some men will cheat if the opportunity presents itself in a safe environment, they won’t go out of their way to cheat. Some men don’t cheat because it is not worth the stress – scheming the wife, costs, time, etc while that is exactly what thrills some men about it. There is never a shortage of girls willing to have casual sex, and some girls actually only have casual sex with married men.
If married women knew how easy it is for their husbands to meet a girl who will give them the 20% missing in their marriage, they will be less self-absorbed and pay attention.
Cheating is as natural as breathing to me and a lot of guys I know. In a place like Lagos, there is never a shortage of girls willing to sleep with you without becoming your girlfriend. And this is why I don’t understand guys who lie about their marital status to a girl they want to sleep. For every girl that says “you are married, I can’t date you” there are three other girls willing to date you. Worst still is, a lot of girls think they can’t date a married guy until they meet one who makes them fall in love with him. It is easy, once you give him attention, a married will make you fall in love with him. My friend and I call it the ‘addiction curve’ get her addicted to you.
The idea of only being with one woman for the rest of my life just doesn’t make sense, I don’t think about it. Cheating sex is addictive because the sex is insanely incredible especially if it with somebody you had been flirting with.
It’s also something you get better at with time, it becomes easier and easier, the guilt goes away completely. My current side chick has a great job, drives a brand new car, basically sorted on her own. For her being in a relationship with me means no drama, no possessive childish boyfriend. Regular phone calls. When she has problems, I am like daddy, I give her advice or get it fixed. Her time is her own. Yeah, she will like to be in a relationship that will lead to marriage but for the past 3 years, all the guys she’s been meeting are conceited immature jerks.
Another advantage of being married and older is, you are better in bed than the guys in your girlfriend’s age group. Sadly, most wives are too lazy to enjoy the benefit of their husband’s improving sexual prowess because ‘headache’.
When I hear girls talk about how sex is so much better with older guys, I wonder if I was sloppy in bed as a younger guy. How is your girl going to be faithful if you cum in 3 minutes when she needs at least 5 minutes to have an orgasm? How is she going to be faithful to you if your ego will not allow her own a vibrator?
A real side chick does not want to take the position of the wife at home, a man’s side chick is usually the one person he is most intimate and open with. This is because she does not judge him, she doesn’t judge him because she does not share a common destiny with the man unlike his wife. A wife will criticize you for not having enough money to meet the family needs forgetting that it is not easy to make ends meet in this economy. A side chick will listen to you complain and not say a hurtful word back in return. She is the one who gives you a loan when madam is putting you under pressure to buy a new generator.
I actually say, cheating makes me a better husband and father. Because having a side chick forces you to become matured relationship wise. You can’t be dating a chick 10 years younger and having fights over trivial things. She expects you to be more matured and handle conflict differently, this you learn and transfer your improved conflict management skills to your marriage. As a father, you pay more attention to your kids and swear you will always be there for them because by interacting with your side chick, you realise how fucked up most fathers have been and how it has affected the lives of their kids. It is the little things, somebody who checks on you every day, somebody who knows that although you have not done anything to deserve using an expensive phone, buys one for you anyway because it boosts your self-esteem. I learn this and make a decision to teach my kids not to attached self-esteem to other people’s perception of them.
Being a polygamist, I cheat on my side chick with fuck buddies. Sometimes, her friends become my fuck buddy. There is such a huge ooze of sexuality between you and your side chick that her lonely friends just want to tap into. I once dated a girl and had 3 of her friends as fuck buddies at different times. The side chick is the easiest girlfriend to cheat on, simply lie that you are with your wife and she chills. Fuck buddies, don’t care, faithfulness is not why we are here. The irony is, side chicks expect you to be faithful to them.
Being a player is an addiction and a skill. An addiction because you do it without thinking about it, it is natural. It is a skill because you know how to step up and engage a chick with so much ease. Even simple basic things as seating next to a chick at a doctor’s waiting room, you just know how to flip the script and end up with her contact details or giving her your card.
The business card trick is the coolest one, meet a girl, say a few witty words to her, make her laugh and let her be. Use your body language to engage her for the rest of your time together, when either of you is leaving, act like for some reason you can’t take her number and give her your business card instead, if she calls within 48 hours, confirmed, she will bang you eventually.
I cheat because there are girls out there looking for a safe environment within which they can have fun and not end up being giving a ring. Our society puts pressure on our girls, if you are in a relationship in your early twenties, it should lead to marriage. Not every girl wants this, most of the single eligible guys think this is the case and behave like they are doing the girls a favour and treat them like shit while also cheating on them.
I will never leave my wife even if she cheats, as far as I am concerned, marriage is not about fidelity. Actually, I say marriage is a scam. Although I don’t regret getting married, I know that if I have the opportunity to go back in time, I would not get married.
My name is Charles and I cheat because I have no moral compass.
Next week, we will end the conversation about marital infidelity in a Jerry Springer way and publish all outstanding stories.
Drop your comments, send letters to saturdayconvos[at]thenakedconvos[dot]com, sharing your opinion, your own side of the story of dating a married person, tell me about an affair you know about. Your identity, as always, will be anonymous and confidential.
Let’s have a conversation about this.