Well, the first part of the title should be something some people will be familiar with, however, when anyone decides to cheat, its all about the passion between the legs and what most never consider before indulging is ‘What if my partner finds out’?.
The way a man and a woman are likely to react after they find out their significant other is cheating on them differs. You see, I was watching an episode of ‘If loving you is wrong’ recently and an episode stood out for me *spoiler alert*.
Two couples living in a suburban-type estate and pretty much best friends, found out their spouses were cheating on them with each other. They were devastated as expected but while the woman whose husband cheated on her was crying and throwing things at her husband, the man handled it by fighting the man but most importantly, asked his wife questions that were so intimate it made me kind of see the way men are likely to think when they are cheated on.
The man asked:
• Is he bigger than me?
• Did you enjoy it with him more than you did with me?
• How often did you guys engage in it?
I guess he hoped if his wife answered in the negative to these questions, the possibility of forgiving her over time will be high. Unfortunately, the wife answered yes to 1 & 2 and the response to 3 was not comforting either; your guess on how devastated he was is as good as mine.
What I was concerned about was why details of this affair from his wife were needed to enable him get past it. Personally, I will be more worried about the betrayal, how much of himself he gave, if he loves her more than me and of course the fact that he broke the promise of fidelity he made to me. However, I don’t think anything will be more painful than that actually feeling that you have been played and feeling stupid for falling for all those lies he told and you believed when in fact they were just excuses he made up about work just so he could be with the mistress.
Anyway, the movie got me thinking and the fact is that people that cheat never consider the fact that they will be caught. They think they are too smart & do not even think of the possibility that they may be caught and the effect may just go beyond their control. When you birth the idea, it is all about passion between the legs but pause and think of some of these scenarios…
You get caught by one spouse and he raises alarm so some people take it upon themselves to strip you and your lover naked and parade you on the streets LOL!!!!. Very crude and local I know but did you think the people they caught thought it will happen to them?? I think all someone will want to do after going through that is to relocate but your spouse will disagree because s/he is enjoying the humiliation. At this point, it is not ‘our shame’, it YOUR SHAME alone. Not likely to happen in suburb areas but the street is gangster when it comes to this.
The partner has reported to the family and a meeting is called and the whole family is asking why you want to destroy your family because of your Penis or Vagina. Who thought your privates and how they need to be tamed was going to be up for community discussion. The worst is when the church is involved. I know we are not to judge but just as you were a wo/man and fell into sin, the church members are almost certainly going to be wo/men and judge you…you all ask for forgiveness later.
Truth is, you will lose some good friends who will be highly disappointed in you and may no longer want to be associated with you. It sometimes goes as far as you losing out on a good business deal if someone high up there believes a wo/man that cannot hold their privates in check may not be in a position to handle a very important business deal. Your job may be on the line as some people are forced to resign if it was an office affair (remember the staff of a popular telecoms company who met in a foreign country and decided to have an affair since their spouses were in Nigeria and took pictures while at it only to lose the camera?….Yea).
The ultimate is that you could actually lose your family. The partner you cheated on leaves and life as you have known it for several years is no more. You are back to being a bachelor/spinster. Some people are lucky and get their life back on track, some even remarry but some people never do and just remain single or become ‘community penis’ or the ‘mistress’ as you go from one failed relationship to the other!
A baby may result from an affair and this is a different ball game all together. Sometimes when it is a man, the baby is adopted by the wife who has to bring him/her up as her own. Other instances, the wife only finds out about an illegitimate child when such a child is almost a teenager. My aunt only knew she had a step son when he was 10 and brought home from the UK to meet his dad (her husband) for the first time. The part that irked me was that he knew all along and even catered to his welfare but never told his wife!
Now, these two scenarios above are mostly feasible when a man is the one that cheated. If a woman had an affair and the man found out…well, most times men cannot handle it. Except of course she had an affair and got pregnant then raised the baby as her husband’s when in reality, it is her lover’s. Whatever the case, most women deal with the betrayal that comes with infidelity by accepting their fate (different story for the 21st century feminist) by staying with her man. The men on the other hand will most certainly send you packing than raise another man’s child.
So on today’s post;
• What do you think your partner will do if they found out you cheated on them?
• How did you handle the situation when you found out your significant order was/is cheating on you?
• What will you do if you find out your partner has a child as a result of an affair? Lastly, will you want the details of an affair from your partner (like the man above) if you are cheated on?