Grief is difficult.
Losing a loved one is something we never really heal from.
In the last few years, I’ve come to feel differently about death. First, I do not believe in the concept of untimely death, people die because they are supposed to die. How it happens might be devastating but whatever will happen, will happen.
Second, that whole ‘don’t speak evil of the dead’, makes no sense to me, the dead are dead. They do not hear you, are not hurt by what you say or think or feel about them. Whatever you might think of them in death also existed when they were alive, and death isn’t going to change it.
There is a trend I have noticed; people tend to conveniently forget the ills a person has done just because the person is dead. Their death does not absolve them of the evil they have done.
Kobe Bryant died, and I cannot imagine what his loved ones must be going through.
My name is S and though millions admired Kobe, the fact remains that he raped a 19-year-old woman in 2003 and got away with it.
You can admire someone whilst knowing they are not perfect. We are all human and do things that are less than desirable from time to time but directly harming the life of another is a whole different experience.
Women have been raped from the beginning of time and its treated as one of those inconveniences that women have to deal with, but it really is not. The effects of sexual assault on the survivor can be so grave, many don’t survive it, many would rather die than to continue to live with the memory for the rest of their lives.
Kobe, a man of power and wealth raped a woman and got away with it, just as popular men of power get away with just about anything. The lady went to the police to report the rape, the case got to court, she backed out of testifying in court because she was bullied, and even though there was enough DNA evidence to convict him, the judge dismissed the case. Kobe walked free, after which he went on a rebranding campaign, positioning himself as a legendary athlete, advocate, and father, so much so that many don’t even know about the rape.
He had a family who he loved, and they loved him back, but he is responsible for his actions. He did not have to rape that woman; he chose to without thinking about how his actions will ricochet on his family. He could have chosen not to violate this woman and not cause her great misery, but he did not.
Several are hailing Kobe for what he stood for but my concern is and always will be for the woman (and women) who are silenced by rich and powerful men.
I do hope for some level of peace for Kobe’s family however I do not grieve his death nor care for his reputation. He raped a young woman and changed her life, and not for the better.