I Want More Than Love


People ask me what I look for in a guy. This is my answer. It is not enough to want be in love or want someone to be in love with you. What truly matters is what the person does to keep the love growing strong. I want someone who does not leave me guessing…


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People ask me what I look for in a guy. This is my answer.

It is not enough to want be in love or want someone to be in love with you. What truly matters is what the person does to keep the love growing strong.

I want someone who does not leave me guessing about whether we are in a ‘situationship’ or a relationship.

I lack spontaneity and therefore I want spontaneity.

I do not want to be settled for; I want to be all the person ever wants. I want a person who is willing to do boring tasks with me and love every minute of it.

I want someone who will feel as much for me as he did on the day he realized he was in love with me.

I want someone who will show me off with pride to everyone around him (even though I am shy). I do not want a girlfriend label; I want it to be clear for everyone around us to see that we are in love and we are meant to be together forever. I want someone who is able to erase my doubts about marriage and someone who does not leave me wondering if he’s cheating.

I want someone who calls me first thing in the morning to tell me he has a hard-on because I was all he dreamed about during the night. I want someone who calls me during the day to tell me what is happening at work (not always though; I know how hectic some work days can be!). I want someone who calls me at night sometimes more than once because he couldn’t sleep after the first time he called and he wants my voice to be the last he hears telling him ‘I love you’. I want someone who will watch ‘He’s just not that into you’ with me and afterwards tell me ‘I am the exception to the rule, his exception’.

I know it’s not going to be all rosy but I want someone who is able to reassure me when things get rough and shaky; I want someone who wants to take me to the movies (even if I might fall asleep halfway through) just because he knows I love the ambience. I want someone whom I can cuddle with naked without sex because there are days when all I want is cuddling. I want us to have quarrels because we can’t be that perfect and also because makeup sex is the best.

I want someone who is not afraid to talk to me about his dreams because he wants me to be there when they happen. I want him to dare me to be more because he deserves me at my best. I want him to help me figure out what I want because most times I need a shove in the right direction. I want someone who wants me to watch football with him even though I am not a fan. I want someone who dares me to try new things like drinking beer or… I’ll leave the rest to your imagination. I want to be the spice of his life and I want him to be mine.

I want someone who will take me to the club at least once a month after we are married because I like dancing and loud music. I want someone who will send our kids to their grandparents just because he wants alone time with wifey. I want someone who surprises me with dinners cooked by him even if it’s just noodles. I want someone who will send me a text (even when I am right beside him) telling me how ‘hot’ I look. I want someone who will massage my back and get me warm water to drink when it’s that time of the month.

I want someone with whom I can spend forever with and if forever doesn’t happen, I want to know I spent 65 years of my life with someone who truly loved me and made me know it every single day in every way possible.

I know I have not said what I have to offer but I promise to let his spontaneity rub off on me. I promise to be an avid fan of his football club. I promise to try new things with him because someone like him deserves it. I promise not to make our life a routine. I promise to be the exact same person I want him to be and I promise above all to have eyes only for him when he gets pot-bellied and fat.

I am saying all this because I want it to be known that guys like this still exist. I am going to get one of such guys, and we will have our 65 years of bliss together, no matter how long it takes to find him.


  1. Buchi
    Your conviction is admirable. Yeah they exist. You will get such a person. Don’t settle. As long as you try to be the girl who’ll be of value to that kind of guy, you’ll meet him.
  2. Toni
    And if your heart is true, such a boo will come to you…

    I’ve always said it’s best to fall in love with someone who’s already your good friend, or who CAN be your good friend. Friendship ticks almost all the boxes for the person you’re looking for.

  3. Seun
    Well. I doubt I can top that.

    But I can strongly say that I want my other half to be the direct opposite of who I am. Not in everything of course, but you know…

    To begin with, I’m a computer nerd and that is how I plan to make my income and therefore I spend most of my time one it. I want her to support me in that. And I don’t want her to leave alone to be in my own little digital world or wherever i may be, but to actually want to know what I’m doing, what it is for and even help me to make my deadline by encouraging me. That being said I would also want her to be able to pull me away from it, and I don’t mean because she stood naked in front of me or starting touching me in some places *clears throat* … but just because she can (hmm….I don’t know if that made sence there)

    I’m a timid person who can keep quiet for Africa when I’m in a new gathering , I’ll would like my other half to make me to talk. My honest prayer is that she would make me stronger in my self confidence and social interaction skills as she continues to do this.

    Someone who isn’t happy being somewhere alone, even in the kitchen alone, and would call me in to help her wash a vegetable or cut something, because i want to be with her for as long as humanly possible on this earth.

    And because she doesn’t leave me guessing as to were I stand in her life, I want to be able to give her my all because she does the same for me.

    Showering together would also be also be nice i must add….(even shaving each other…lol) And sex between us should be like script

          1. Temi Niran
            Oh so you people just came to play football with our hearts abi? If you both don’t sit down and talk about the next 60-whatever years of your lives together.Twwww. Imagine. jk jk, this was a nice write up Aggie. I hope you find (seun) him. 🙂
    1. doreen
      Hi seun! i read your comment twice and it just made me really smile. I used to think guys who think like you are just a figment of my imagination but you made it sound believable.

      Wouldn’t mind to get to know you better if its okay by you.

      1. Seun
        That would be nice. Do I drop my contacts here then (hope that’s safe)? That would be better that exposing your own details here though.
  4. Ceecee
    That’s it….I don’t care how long I have to wait. If I am taking that leap, I want to take it once and get it right. No rush, No mistakes. It’s not being too choosy, it’s being careful and making sure my kids has a dad and mom that will stay together, loves the heck out of themselves and still do mushy stuff even when they are older.
    1. Aggie
      how can I be sure you are the one but if you are truly the one, where have you been all my life? Please tell me you know where to find me ????
  5. jae
    This is so so me,after I discovered myself…yes men like this do exist,and I would find one and end with one…enjoying this singleness like it’s the very air I breathe #namatse
  6. Exclusive
    Bad belle Snow. Lol!

    Leave us alone, biko. Experience the mushy mushiness in peace. 🙂

    Aggie, I hope the Universe conspires to bring you that which you seek, or take you to it. I hope you find yours.

  7. Exclusive
    Hey Cavey,

    Lmao! The expression on your face (not really) flashed before me with the hypocrite in caps.

    I do believe you’re right though. Snow is mostly trying to rain on lovers’ parade. One has to ask kini gan sef?

      1. Exclusive
        Okay, that self-emoji, whatever it is got a *good* laugh outta me this morning. I laughed even after laughing on picturing the expression again. Goodness.

        Snow, rapu m’aka, biko.

        And Cavey, have a fabulous day.

        1. Cavey
          Glad I could make you laugh (twice), . Have a great day yourself too and if you want to make my day even more amazeballs, how ’bout you finally send me your number? ????
          1. Exclusive

            I called on my power of recall and I can’t seem to remember you ever having asked previously.

            Third time’s a charm, right? 🙂

  8. Cavey
    @aggie I pray you find him ‘cos he’s definitely out there and he knows that all you want, is actually fueled by love – the real kind, not what people tend to define it as these days- and your words suggest you have an idea what that’s like so again I pray you find him.
    This was beautifully written ????????
  9. Ifeolu
    Na wa o… Everybody on TNC be all nice and sweet… There must still be some nice and sweet people out there. I hope you find all you are looking for Aggie…
    Make una kuku turn am to hookup sumtin
  10. Bkd
    What a list. I think every girl wants this same kind of man. Makes me wonder if there’s enough of them to go round(i.e. if they actually do exist).
    But hey, I wish you good luck with finding him.
  11. Erdoo
    Okay so I am right behind you on most of this but the warm water part, I can never take warm water if I had to save my life! Lol. I mean whatever happened to good ole’ Lipton for a stomach upset? ????
  12. TL
    You’ll find ‘that’ guy! Just remain positive and don’t just settle. Great guys still exist… I’m married to one and he is all I ever wanted and a lot more!
  13. McDanielsy
    Wake me up inside…..’Bring me back to life!!!!!! @aggie, you remind me of my dreams…. Uhhh yea… My dreams. Still not given up tho, and never knew you got all this nice stuff rumpled and muffled up in that little head of yours ….nice to let them out. Wish you your desires!
  14. Figlia della terra
    There’s nothing as attractive as a person that knows what they want. A lot of us go through this world just bumbling about, accepting anything thrown our and not even knowing it’s not right for you. I hope you find this beautiful, fulfilling, sexy, noisy, quiet, Complex, simple, deep, loooong all encompassing relationship.
  15. Chris
    Dear Aggie, May your hearts desires come to pass and may this your dream come true.

    Patiently waiting for mine to come too.

    Seun and Doreen, Kindly give regular updates of how it’s going between you two. I would like to know. Lol!


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