Just like most viewers, I was left awestruck after watching what was supposed to be a passionate attempt at driving attention towards a worthy cause. Sure I got the message loud and clear – Omaze, donate, We Can Lead, empower and educate girls through out Africa blah blah blah but as I hit the replay button the first time, that wasn’t what was on my mind.
Look at him. He’s 44. FORTY FOUR. Grey hair everywhere, not particularly “beautiful” in that Jared Leto kind of way but even without the British accent you can’t but admit that there is something undoubtedly attractive about this man. Ok ok, when I say attractive, I don’t mean in that sense … to me … as a guy. I was merely thinking from a woman’s perspective.
Now that we have gotten the mandatory no-homo declaration out of the way, we can get back to the crux of the matter. For minutes after I watched that video, one thought lingered in my mind. What exactly is it about the older man that sometimes makes them so appealing to the point that many women look past whatever physical and sometimes, non-physical flaws they may have? From pot bellies to tribal marks, crassness to extreme vanity, I’ve seen several young women come up with some unimaginable excuses for whatever flaws these older men may have.
As I was stroking the lonely strand of grey hair that recently showed up on my face, the realization hit me. The one thing common to these men is actually that intangible thing which promotes them to that coveted ‘sexy grey’ status. No it’s not age or time, it’s EXPERIENCE.
Right before I turned 30, I remember becoming extremely conscious of my age. It was as if I walked about with some kind of trigger just waiting for someone to make reference to my age and I would quickly put them in their place by declaring that my baby-boy-ness wasn’t leaving with my twenties. I remember putting in extra hours at the gym and even eating healthier all so I could maintain my “baby boy look”. If only I knew…
Time is common to every single person alive on earth – nothing special about it. What is important is what you do with that time. Which is why the thing common to grey men considered sexy isn’t time, it’s experience. Two fifty-year old men can stand side by side and one would be considered a sexy grey while the other would just be somebody’s father. Factors like money and grooming also come to play here but probably not as much as experience.
I hit replay again and tried to look into Idris’ eyes as he said those words “… I’ll let you pound my yams” and it wasn’t the words loaded with innuendo, it still wasn’t the British accent, it was that knowing look in his eyes that screamed “ I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT BECAUSE I’VE DONE IT A MILLION TIMES” that made it so believable and obviously attractive (to his millions of female fans).
I’m still in my early thirties but that ship of defending my baby-boy-ness has definitely sailed. I still hit the gym and even try harder now to eat healthier (because let’s be real – organs are three decades old) but every time I encounter a younger person, particularly females – at work, with family or friends, however so briefly, there’s that uncontrollable knowing-ness that takes over me. Sort of like having a deja vu but a really pleasant one and I’ve been told this feeling manifests not only on my face but also in my conversations.
I’m still quite far from earning that seemingly coveted ‘sexy grey’ title but I’d like to believe that understanding the impact a person with such a title has on others is the first step towards positioning yourself to achieve it. I tell a lot of my younger friends that the twenties are for experiments and experiences. I’ve said here several times that I do not believe in regret because it limits your ability to experiment and gain experience. If you dwell for so long on getting your heart broken by one person, you’ll probably never experience another heartbreak and as sad as that might sound, no two heartbreaks are the same. Getting rejected twice teaches you two ways not to approach someone – a lesson that could be vital to a 20-something year old when you’re well in your forties. But if you don’t experience it, how will you be able to pay it forward?
And so I guess I don’t really have anything to ask of the women reading this – some might deny that experience isn’t the main thing that attracts them to sexy grey’s but we can agree to disagree on that. For the guys reading, are you actively investing some vital experience in your potential ‘sexy grey’ account? Is this theory on sexy grey’s something that has crossed your mind? Please use the comment box to express you.