Let me tell you about the first time I gave head. I was 18 and in my very first relationship. This guy would never directly ask me for anything sexual but he would make different gestures that would make me feel pressured, like kissing me too fast, too deep and putting me in that position where…
Let me tell you about the first time I gave head. I was 18 and in my very first relationship. This guy would never directly ask me for anything sexual but he would make different gestures that would make me feel pressured, like kissing me too fast, too deep and putting me in that position where I would ask myself if it was time to remove his hands from down there. The worst one was the way he would grab my breasts like he was trying to press out gold from it. Argh!
He wasn’t that good with his fingers or maybe he was but I was too inexperienced to notice. Then again, if he was good I would have noticed and would definitely remember, right? I mean, you don’t forget these things. If there was anything Mac was good at, it was being horny. The kind of horny that makes you feel unsafe. I found it hard to recognize him when he got extremely horny. Little virgin me would sometimes have to leave the room to give him space and time to calm down and you guys know how you “calm” yourselves down.
Even though I felt pressured to get physical with him, I didn’t want to stop being called a virgin just yet so, one day, I decided to learn a new trick to boost my make-out CV. I consulted Google in an attempt to learn how to give good head. I saw all kinds of instructions: Use your tongue. Play with your fingers. Nibble slowly. It went on and on. I crammed everything and was ready to get down. Literally.
One evening he came over and we sat behind my house as usual. We started kissing and somewhere along the line, I stood up and went on my knees. Seconds later, I heard screaming.
“Just keep doing every other thing, but without the teeth!!!”
Okay. So I was biting him. It wasn’t going well. I started to give myself an inner pep talk.
Okay. Okay. I can do this. Focus. No more teeth. Use your tongue. Play with your fingers. No teeth! Okay, I’m good!
I thought I was getting the hang of it, then this dude stopped me. He held up my head and had yet another thing to say.
“Why do you keep pausing every 10 seconds?”
Huh??? Am I not supposed to pause? SO what exactly do I do with the spit flowing like a river in my mouth?
I said nothing but smiled and told him I was trying to get used to it. I asked him to let me continue and he did after asking yet another question.
“Who taught you this exactly?”
I was too embarrassed to admit I learned on the internet so I blamed it on a female friend of mine, whom he knew.
“Mercy”, I mumbled with my full mouth.
“She is either bad at this, or you didn’t learn well!”
Okay, dude. Okay. I have spent my data, effort, time, strength and energy in trying to learn this. A little thank you would do, rather than complaining with your thing in my mouth which by the way smells like feet! Shut up and enjoy or just let me stop. My mouth hurts!!!
Of course, I didn’t say that out loud. I mean, would you?
Anyway, none of that mattered because what happened in the seconds that followed is, hands down, the most embarrassing thing that I have ever experienced. Mac grabbed my hair with one hand and held my head with the other then he started doing this up and down movement. The tip of his thing almost went down my throat every time he moved downward. With him holding my head, I couldn’t stop to spit. I can’t even explain the panic attack I almost had. I felt like my head was locked up!
At this point, I have to stress two things. Firstly, I had just had my hair done and it was hurting. Secondly, each time his thing touched the back of my throat, I would feel like I was one second away from throwing up but he would moan silently and it felt good to hear him moan because of me. I had heard him moan before, those times when I left him to “calm” himself down but I had never been able to make him cum with just kissing and dry humping. This was a huge improvement and I reminded myself to keep going.
Hang in there, baby girl. Hang in there. Make him cum. Hang in there. No… No… Noooo….
My saliva and the banga soup I ate with rice earlier all came rushing out of my mouth unto his thing, my hands, his laps… Everywhere. I still remember it until this day.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is why I suck at giving head. Any similar horror stories out there? Or are you all forming “sexpert”? Let’s hear from you in the comments!