The internet went crazy mad when Jhene Aiko officially filed for a divorce from her 11-month old husband Dot da genius.

Hi my name is S and don’t let marriage keep you from experiencing love/a better kind of love/ love you deserve/ your soul mate.

For a couple of months prior to this official statement there had been social media chatter about the two hooking up and they (Jhene and Sean) were REALLY disgusting and disrespectful about it. They made an album together and there was CLEARLY chemistry. However the snapchat videos and pictures of them exchanging “I love yous” and making out on stage yada yada seemed a bit much, and frankly a bitch move on Jhene’s part. She didn’t even have to officially divorce Dot before hooking up with Sean but at least be low-key about it but there was nothing low-key about what was going on between her and Big Sean. I absolutely love Jhene’s music but her thought process was seriously faulty in that aspect.

At some point Jhene must have been in love with Dot, because heck! She married him but love doesn’t last forever, sometimes you may want it to but life happens and you could already be in a marriage and find out that’s not the love you want for the rest of your life.

Let’s take a second and forget all that stuff about “It’s wrong to love someone else when you are married”. Personally, I think it’s pretty lame. The way I see it, if you love someone while married to another, you have two options. You can either get off your ass and do something about it or stay and wallow in sadness.

Personally, I dont think Jhene deserves the backlash she’s received for her actions because unlike many who are unhappy in theor marriages, she got off her ass and did something about it. She didn’t want to stay in a relationship where her heart wasn’t in anymore and that’s okay. She probably doesn’t care about all of you bashing her, her mental well being is utmost to her. As all the details aren’t even clear about who did what, it’s safe to say she is in a better place now. We can all become Judge Judy and question they way she went about it but I dont think we should attack her.

I for one know how it is to be with a person who is married, I’m talking being in a loving reciprocal relationship with someone who has a spouse but that’s a story for another day. I just want to say that if someone who is married, in his/her full senses decided to be in an actual relationship outside their marriage, it’s because there is something they are lacking and need fulfilled. This may be Jhene’s case….MAY BE…

There is no need to get riled up because the truth is, we don’t know the entire story, and Jhene isn’t right or wrong. Jhene did what she had to do for her own good.

Also, there is absolutely no assurance that she and Big Sean will last or that he’s her true love. As far as I’m concerned, he cannot be her true real love because this is the same guy who broke up with a 21-year old and wrote an entire diss song to the effect.

Couples break and up and find ‘love’ elsewhere in no time, such is life.

Responses

  1. Optimus Prime
    This has to be a click-bait, it has to be. Otherwise, it’s the weakest defence put up for an irresponsible wife. What sensible people do when they fall out of love in marriage is to seek divorce first before hopping on the next available phallus.

    Perhaps T-Billz also fell out of love but I didn’t see anyone holding the brief for him. He was called every disgusting name you can imagine. Women can’t continue to pick and choose – it oozes hypocrisy.

    When a man cheats in a marriage – he’s a dog, irresponsible, self-centred, etc. When a woman cheats in a marriage – she fell out of love, she did the right thing, her husband must have deserved it, etc.

    And this takes me back to what I have always maintained about the women in the 21st century. They want equal rights minus the responsibility that comes with. Jhene deserves every backlash she’s getting and perhaps more.

    15+
      1. Optimus Prime
        Of course, they can be separated before divorce but that isn’t the reason Jhene got pilloried. She got slaughtered because of her infidelity.
        1+
        1. king.blacqmajik
          Jhene is a favorite of mine, I’ve loved her for the past 3 years. Now, i was utterly devastated when she started her PDA with Big Sean. Being a stalker, i wandered into her page on IG every so often. There was a picture that had her, Dot and Namiko (her daughter) during Halloween on her page. When all the twenty88 was happening i went down to her timeline, down to her October pictures and discovered the picture was deleted. Then i knew something was up. I don’t think she should be accused of infidelity since when don’t know the whole story. She said he was being violent and abused her.

          Posted from TNC Mobile

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    1. Olayinka
      I would have been disappointed if you failed to tie this to feminism. Weldone for not disappointing me. When did it become a right to be a cheating spouse? How did you manage to drag equal rights into this talk? O ga gan.
      1+
    2. Tam
      O my gosh. Had to chip in… Plix in which country is “When a man cheats in a marriage – he’s a dog, irresponsible, self-centred, etc.” true. Based on lived experience not in the inherently patriarchal and misogynistic Nigeria that I know

      A country where women are shamed publicly if they ALLEGEDLY commit adultery. A country where men without shame and fear publicly flaunt their concubines and mistresses, and all their wives can say “I leave it in the hands of God”. A country where a president could have more than one wife. A country whose marriage cultures are built on the very foundation of “women being virgins before marriage” and not holding men to the same standard. A country where a girl claims she was coerced in a sexual deed, and she is still slut shamed. A country where say “why did she go to his house at night?” is a defence that basically absolve a rape perpetrator of his crime.

      Plix oooo… I don’t think it is the same Nigeria, that I have known most of my life, you are talking about.

      Even though I could not careless about Jhene – in fact this is the first I have heard of such scandal – One cannot just sit down and let this kind of comment go unanswered. Are you kidding me!

      3+
    3. Exclusive
      And a good amount of that backlash is coming from women too, Optimus.

      Before you throw us under the bus of being shielded from responsibility, a lot of us think her move was crappy and reeked of disrespect.

      She cheated. She was a bitch about it. That is wrong, no arguments.

      2+
  2. Tip
    “I for one know how it is to be with a person who is married, I’m talking being in a loving reciprocal relationship with someone who has a spouse but that’s a story for another day..”

    I’m wondering if your story will be on Linda when they baff you acid -__-

    6+
    1. Kay
      😂😂😂😂 This is all I’m interested in really. Please tell us about this loving reciprocal relationship with someone with a spouse and we’ll forgive you for this travesty.
      3+
  3. Butterflymind
    I’m lost. Couldn’t make sense of what I read, and not for a lack of trying.

    So you’re saying people are allowed to skip out of a marriage because they stopped having butterflies for one person and coz love doesn’t last forever? Okay.
    At this rate everyone will eventually be married to someone who has been in a marriage-gone-sour at some point in their lives.

    Wow. Can’t wait to see a world like this.
    Just throw responsibilities away and enjoy yaself.

    10+
      1. Girl
        but it is out there for everyone to see, so we will naturally judge her n call her names. if it hadn’t been put out there and all, no one would really care one way or the other.
        since i dislike infidelity in relationships, i will naturally condemn her actions. shikena
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  4. ME
    _”She didn’t even have to officially divorce Dot before hooking up with Sean but at least be low-key about it but there was nothing low-key about what was going on between her and Big Sean.”_
    That right there is where your post turned sour in my mouth. So in the modern world, infidelity is justifiable depending on d ‘key’ at which it is operated? When someone cheats on her spouse on a ‘low key’, is it any less unacceptable and wrong than when she goes ‘high key’ by throwing it in our faces? I don’t see d ‘objectivity’ of ur argument not to talk of d faulty moral canvass on which u are trying to paint ur tots.
    And NOPE, I actually don’t believe ur post was in ‘defence’ of Jhene, I think it’s in defence of YOU, ur actions and whoever ur ‘partner in crime’ is cos you “for one know how it is to be with a person who is married, I’m talking being in a loving reciprocal relationship with someone who has a spouse but that’s a story for another day”, Right?…and u jst had to write this post cos u feel a kindred spirit towards Jhene and u finally feel that someone actually ‘gets u’…LOL
    I personally don’t care abt Jhene or her relationships, but pple like you who try to make d wrong seem and sound so right get me caring a great deal.
    22+
  5. Hephie Brown
    brother @optimus-prime prime up there has a few notable points..toke makinwa’s husband got backlashes, why cant jhene? any man would have been slayed for cheating shamelessly..she deserves it..she cheated is she cheated. she was a hoe is she was and is a hoe. why make excuses for something bad using love as an excuse. that is an offense to love and sensibility.. while im not one to judge, ill rather just not listen to excuses about your options in life.. i am not asking you to stay in love with me forever, just respect me enough to let me go if u dont feel the same way anymore. what is so hard about that?
    9+
  6. ME
    A dara fun e o . No one is asking her not to walk out on her marriage if she’s no longer happy…she should NOT disrespect and ridicle d marriage while still in it. Pe.ri.od.
    3+
  7. Itunu
    Hi @S, I believe Love and Lust are two different things. Like someone once said, there is no ’13’ naira note because it doesn’t exist in the first place. You find a counterfeit of currencies that exist, eg 10 naira, 20 naira etc.

    My point? The same applies to counterfeits that we tend to call ‘Love’ but isn’t Love.
    I have no idea who the above lady and guy is, but let’s come back to the real thing here. In your article you talked about love reciprocated between a married individual and a single person being justified. Truth is, we can only know true love the moment we find the ‘True’ Love. It is when you’ve seen the real deal and tasted the real thing you know fake and it’s clear before your eyes. Love doesn’t jump upandan. Love is kind and seeks its own. It is also patient otherwise, we would have every single person on earth justify their lusts and evil doings on ‘love’ instead of facing it for what it is and what our human nature has no ability to control showing there’s a problem somewhere.

    Love satisfies you so the lame excuse is ‘I don’t love you anymore’ We’ve made love look so simple and yet so disgusting compared to the beautiful thing it’s meant to be. Love is enough to heal you and make you see that all that you’ve been chasing in the past is nothing but air…, vapour, a counterfeit of the real thing that doesn’t even measure up to Love itself.

    Please permit me to summarize the story of the Samaritan woman that encountered Jesus. This woman had 5 HUSBANDS in the past and I’m sure she must have felt it was ‘Love’ too right? Because well, yea, I stopped loving the previous one and I might just find a ‘soulmate’ in the next one out there.

    Her recent catch was not even her husband BUT she got curious and was able to admit when Jesus promised her something more and that encounter changed her forever. She saw the real thing and knew that those other ones were nothing compared to what she saw at the well.

    I hope you find true love soon and I hope you open up your heart to it when it comes knocking on your door.

    Much love. xo!

    8+
  8. Buchi
    This is a post? I’d hate to think this is an attempt to drive traffic. I’d really hate to.
    Won’t bother to comment on the contents.
    But this….. Come on.
    3+
  9. Snow
    I want to believe my TNC app is faulty and the post did not finish loading. Because you’ve no arrived at your point o.
    I will try and visit the web version to see if i can grt the full article.

    This point you’re trying to make, i must see it o.

    That said; i’ll leave my 2 “unsolicited” cents – You gotta understand that being in love with someone does mot stop you from being occassionally attracted to someone else and just because you’re attracted to someone else while loving another does not mean what you have with the one you love is discardable.

    You people should stop confusing love for just any form of emotional attraction.

    Honestly, i believe Dotun should be happy, dude dodged a bullet.

    *now going to look for complete article

    Posted from TNC Mobile

    3+
  10. Tam
    @S Since I have invested time in replying to comments on this post, I would like to make a guess at what I think is the point of your article was.

    You started with a censure on the behaviour of Jhene, then you seemed to try to justify her act by using words like low key, and saying people should not be stuck in a marriage if the love finishes, because according to you ” Love does not last forever”.

    Then you go on to say that you do not think she should get the backlash she is getting.

    I would argue that because of your like of Jhene, your somewhat non-mainstream views on relationships (I make this claim from a historical standpoint, with respect my understanding of your articles in the past – I don’t know you), you, somehow using, what seems to be the most effective form of cognitive dissonance to come to a position that what she did wasn’t right, but she did not deserve the backlash she was getting, ergo – people should mind their businesses.

    And I might be wrong. That might not be what you mean’t at all.
    Anyway
    Regards!

    1+
  11. Uche
    A cheat is a cheat. No matter your gender. I’m not even going to talk about all the blatant disrespect. Male or female, I hate cheats. I don’t now know which one is worse. Lying or throwing the affair in your partners face.
    0
  12. sara
    I saw “S” and I thought, this would b a good read. But dis post has points scattered everywhere, i fail to see what it’s really about.
    But I do think it was a way to find absolution for an affair the poster once had.
    1+
  13. Chinedov
    If anyone in this world would come out in full armour in defence of Jhene, that person would be S. And, boy, did she not disappoint. 😂😂😂

    Posted from TNC Mobile

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  14. N9
    Jhene was shamelessly and openly giving the world a lecture on marital infidelity …. While in a marriage… And youre justifying her actions?.

    As someone put it .. Kindred spirit.

    I feel for her man .. Really do… If he did something wrong .. Divorce him .. Separate .. Anything but drag him through this fuckery.

    0
  15. roses
    after reading this eh,the only thing that struck me was that your “love does not last forever”line. my response? “pfft….(~_~) what does she know kwan?”
    i dont know but you really need to cut back on the weed smokin’. its telling on you….
    1+
  16. Toni
    Shetttt!!!!

    I have had to physically hold this laughter from bursting out… I don’t know where these people came from, but una funny sha!

    1+

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