Lets Talk Divorces: Is Love Really A Decision?

Some beautiful relationships today started with little romantic feelings but a decision to be with each other no matter what kept them going…and with time, the feelings grew.


Text size

So many times, people have tried to define Love.

Some say it is a feeling, a deep affection towards someone, an extra likeness for someone and so on, but no standard accepted definition has been found.

So, I’ll say love means different things to different people and how you define love is based on how you’ve experienced it and it determines how you demonstrate it.

Now, one thing I’m sure of is that Romantic Love is much more than just a feeling…much more than that, because if we were to assume that it is a deep feeling or attention, so many people would have fallen out of love…especially the married couples because they are the ones who have to stick to one partner all their lives.

Love is friendship that has caught fire

To me, there are times when marriage could be boring or times when you both are just not in a happy state, then it might seem the feelings are all gone.

I’m so confident of my words because I’ve been in a relationship too…oh yeah…and there were times where it got booooring, annoying and **aarghh**…yeah…with the feelings all silent and the butterflies all gone on excursions, but that never meant I stopped loving my partner or I quitted or had plans to end the relationship and that’s my point today…Love is more than just a feeling; it is a DECISION.

Love is deciding to love someone regardless of how you feel. It’s deciding to hold on to one partner even when they piss you off or get you angry. Love is deciding to stay back even when they go broke, lose their right arm or lose a huge contract.

Some beautiful relationships today started with little romantic feelings but a decision to be with each other no matter what kept them going…and with time, the feelings grew.

Remember, relationships start off from a mere conversation, blah-blah-blah and then you start feeling some butterflies or start liking the person before you upgrade to say the “yes” moment.

It is important to note that, it was your decision to either say a “YES” or a “NO”. Get it?

Love is not “a feeling” but “a decision” to be with someone and that’s why it troubles me to see lots of failed relationships today as a result of cheating because you had a choice to be with someone, so why cheat on them? Or why walk away with no reasonable excuse?

Make it a personal principle today that you would love genuinely once you’ve made that choice to be with someone. Look beyond the feelings and decide if you want to be with that person or not.

Don’t just get carried away with how he or she makes you feel or how they make you smile endlessly; look beyond that and ask yourself:

1. If she /he gets fat, would I still be with him?

2. If he loses his job, would I still stick with him even when I know I’ll have to work for two?

3. If she turns out to be barren tomorrow, would I still love her?

4. If he loses his face in an accident would I still be proud of him?

5. If he says something embarrassing in front of my friends, would I still love him?

6. When challenges arise can I hold on to him and pull through?

7. If this relationship gets emotionless and gets boring would I be willing to spice it up so that the love can be rekindled?

The questions can go on and on but it’s up to you to know what you want.

Weigh your options and ask yourself hard and honest questions over and over again before you say “YES”.

Remember, Love is more than just a feeling; love is a decision.

I’ll end by saying this, “walking away if the kitchen gets too hot is also a decision. Would you rather fix the problem or discard the treasure?” It’s up to you.

Ponder on that!


  1. Seun
    Hmm…love is truly a decision. Thanks for reminding me. One definately needs to think through before letting that ‘friendship catch fire’; before letting those feelings blind you.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *