Score: Nearer My God To Thee (For 9 Cellos) || Piano Guys
End Credits: Unclear || Kodaline
I know usually, appreciation comes at the end of something but I want to start this article by saying a sincere thank you to the TNC family for being an integral cog in shaping the person I am today. Beyond the posts and comments, the camaraderie that’s palpable in the TNC community fills me with hope and joy. Thank you, TNC, for existing.
Now, on to the article.
Dharmmie’s post last week on ‘Adulting’ had me laughing but afterwards, it got me reflecting on how much I’ve grown, how far I’ve come in my journey in life and how much more growing I still have to do and at first, the path ahead seemed terribly daunting but then I remembered something one of my mentors said “if the picture of your future in your head doesn’t scare you, dream again” so rather than focusing on how far I still have to go, I reflected on how far I’ve come, the lessons I’ve learnt and I chose to share with the TNC family;
I’m learning that although there’s strength in needing people, I have to learn NOT to need anyone. I’m also learning that there are some people who, once they feature in your life, become a mainstay, a necessity you don’t ever want to miss. These people give your monochromatic life colour, beautifying it in a way you never knew possible. Keep these people because they’re rare.
But I’ve learned to remember that even though they colour your life, it’s YOUR life and no one but you determines the beauty of it. If you let others define your life, your happiness, because of what they bring to the table, what happens if they leave?
I’ve learned to appreciate the beauty, the colour they bring but I’ve also learned not to let my vision become kaleidoscopic. I am the book, they are the crayon.
I’m learning that it’s terribly hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice & not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.
I’m learning that sometimes, you just have to be selfish and not think about others, else, you’d find yourself in quicksand.
I’m learning that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who’s lovable. The rest is up to them.
I’ve learned that what Samwise Gamgee did by carrying Frodo on his back up Mount Doom was not a ploy by movie makers to make me cry. I’ve learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I’ve learned that it’s okay to be angry but it’s not okay to use that anger as an excuse to be cruel.
I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distances. Same goes for true love.
I’m learning that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
I’ve learned that your family won’t always be there for you. I’m also learning that ‘family’ isn’t those who you share a surname with but those people who, when push comes to shove, have your back, no matter the consequence.
I’m learning that no matter how good a friend someone is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I’m learning that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. This is a lesson I’m still failing.
I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
I’m learning that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different…and that’s okay.
I’m learning that no matter how hopeless a situation is, no matter how much easier it would be to give up, if you look hard enough, you’d find a reason to take one more step, live one more day…you’d find a reason to fight.
I remember when I stumbled on this quote by Shakespeare in JS2 and I was sure I knew the meaning;
“There is a tide in the affairs of men. Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; Omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat, and we must take the current when it serves, Or lose our ventures.”
Now a bit older and a bit wiser, it means something different to me. I’m learning that life IS a pot of beans and that things hardly ever go exactly according to plan but you can’t mope, just because you have to set a new course. If you mope, you’d miss the strong gale of wind to fill your sail the storm brought with it.
But most importantly, I’m learning that you can keep going long after you think you can’t.
I know I might need to unlearn some of these and I’m going to need to learn a whole lot more, but I know I’ve grown… I’m not the same person I was a year ago and for that, I’m truly grateful. Yes, nothing quite prepares you for adulting but hey, what can man do? Neverland doesn’t exist.
Please, feel free to help me learn more or unlearn anything I shouldn’t have learnt. The comments section is my lesson note.
Image via Jag Gym Blog