I finally got to read the most talked about book by Toke Makinwa. I read it over the weekend and I was really surprised by my reaction to the book.

Prior to reading the book, I looked out for comments and people’s opinions but apparently some people didn’t think it was worth the price or even the hype. Others felt like it was one of the many strategies celebrities use to get attention.

But for me, it was enlightening. Not that it had anything in particular I had not heard about before. But I can say that I FINALLY understand the thought process of ladies that stay in abusive relationships (either physically or emotionally abusive relationships). I’ve once lost a dear friend because I tried too hard to convince her to leave her boyfriend. I knew she deserved better, and I just could not understand why she would not let go, despite everything she went through. Sadly, it didn’t end well between us at all.

Sometimes, you hear stories of what goes on in certain relationships and you ask: “Was she stupid?” “What was she thinking?” “Was she blind?” This book made me realize how easy it is to judge others especially when we haven’t walked in their shoes. You think they deserve better, but they don’t think they do. They don’t even know their worth. A lot of girls out there are naïve and sometimes need to be told what to do especially by people who have made similar mistakes. We need more experienced women, especially in Nigeria, who will share their struggles and create a clearer path for the younger generation. Therefore I would recommend this book to all the young ladies out there. Read it, make fun of Toke’s silliness if you want to, but be sure to learn from her mistakes.

I would say there are three main points to take away from this book:

1. You will make lots of mistakes, but you have to rise up immediately, learn from it and move on. Also, make sure you never make that same mistake again. On several occasions before they got married, Toke left Maje but somehow ended up going back. Now, imagine if she learned her lesson 10 years ago!

2. Never under estimate the power of God in your life. Be consistent with Him. Every time she was deeply troubled, she would go to God and He always provided a way out for her. Her book is, in itself, a testimony of God’s goodness upon her life. In chapter 13, she said “I had been so set on marrying Maje that I never stopped to ask God if it was His will”. If we live our lives daily seeking the face of God and walking in line with His word, there will be no such regrets.

3. You shouldn’t stop becoming: No one is perfect, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t make efforts to be the best versions of ourselves. We all have our struggles, little as they may be, we should not ignore them.

As 2017 fast approaches, let’s all work towards becoming… I’m becoming FEARLESS. What are you becoming? Do share below.


  1. Mo
    I am becoming Me… It is, indeed very hard, almost impossible, to understand what the victim in an abused relationship is ‘thinking’
    Please, did i miss the announcement… Where’s Rounds Week 50?
  2. Imaobong
    It’s hard to see people you love stay in abusive relationships.
    I know one in particular, but I’ve stopped putting so much pressure on her to want out.
    I think, they have to see it for themselves, whenever they do.
    You can’t take out the speck in someone’s eye for them, you can only tell them it’s there.
    At the end of the day, they would need to come to the realization that they can do and they do deserve so much better.
  3. Bkd
    Yeah right. I’m sure it would be a whole different story I feel the said husband decides to write his own book. I know some men are evil but I choose not to judge a man by his ex’s accounts because of my experiences with women and trust me, I’ve had quite a lot. As far as I know , women are the most cunning and manipulative creatures and are very good at playing the victim card. I am not taking her account or experiences for granted, but I think it’s best we hear the man’s side of the story before drawing any conclusions. I say this because I, and a number of guys I know have been victims of women’s cunning and mischief.
    1. Nelo
      I watched an interview Maje granted on YouTube and I was left with no doubt that he was guilty as charged by Toke. Has he denied any of the actions credited to him? What in the world will make a man caught cheating to retort “you are the wife, she is the girlfriend” to a woman he wedded. Nothing hurts like unrequited love. May we all recieve sense and learn self-love with which no man/woman can treat us as trash.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *