Yeah, I said it. Sue me. I know men ain’t shit. I know. I don’t try to believe that there is some good in men, but earlier this year one person stood out for me, whilst other men remained basically useless.
I am a serial dater, I won’t even say I date a lot of these men, I just always strategically position myself, find myself in a form of situationship with them, make a conscious effort to not be in a committed relationship because men ain’t shit, whilst scamming them to believe it’s an exclusive one and demanding they worship me. LOL.
I met this brilliant man earlier in the year and I became Sappy S. Being with him made me sure that all the other men I had encountered were just stepping stones to prepare me for him. Without a doubt, I felt that what I had felt before with other men was not love. This was what love felt like. Pure, unstained, easy, certain, painless, secure. Never had I thought that in this world of ‘ain’t shit’ men there would be one that was so good and kind. The adjectives I’d use to describe men changed. Instead of “hot” or “sexy”, I saw him as all of those things but much more. He was a good man, a good good man and very kind and gentle.
This one day, we met up after work because how better to end the day than in each others arms.This day turned out to be the day that I got my mind blown so hard, but it was a tragedy. During sexy time, the condom decided that maybe it didn’t want to be ‘there’ anymore so it rolled itself off him (either that or we were being too acrobatic for it to handle). In the heat of the moment, he realised and panicked like I have never seen before and my room went from warm to below zero temperatures.
I get that the normal human reaction is to panic but how it happened was just wrong. He went into the bathroom, still panicking and left me in the room for a while. I told him that everything was okay in an attempt to calm him down. He eventually came out, dressed up and lay on the bed with me for like 30 seconds. I was doing EVERYTHING in my power to keep myself together. I put on some loud music, DJ Khaled’s Major Key album to be precise. A few seconds later, he said, “I bet you can see I’m uncomfortable”. I said okay, told him he could leave, he left and that was it.
I broke down once I shut the door. Broke down because I played myself. I was so mesmerised by his goodness and kindness that I forgot that MEN AIN’T SHIT. He didn’t call me when he got home, nothing. He just left. I called my girlfriend because it was WAY too much for me to handle and I was panicking. Almost twelve hours after the incident, he sent me an SMS in the morning asking how I was. I was irritated. I responded saying that I should have been asking him how he felt. I also mentioned that he clearly needed space and I was gonna give him all that he needed.
Throughout the entire day, I kept replaying the scenario in my head. I was baffled. I waited for him to reach out so we could talk about things but there was nothing. Exactly 24 hours after the incident, I snapped. I dialled his number and called him out on his horrible behaviour. How dare he make the entire thing about him? Immediately it happened, he went to the bathroom to shower or whatever and left me alone in the room, didn’t ask or attempt to see that I was okay, or cleaned up. Nothing. He didn’t even ask if I had an emergency pill, or encourage me to take the pill ASAP, or even offer to get me a glass of water. Nothing.
Then he says to me that he’s uncomfortable. But I was there too! It didn’t just happen to him, but somehow I was the one trying to keep my little streak of sanity so I could calm him down from your gigantic panic waves. WOW. He somehow made the entire thing about him. I sat on the floor wondering what happened to all that goodness and kindness, then I remembered that men ain’t shit.
He had no defence. His attempt at a defence was the typical male thing to do – make the woman look crazy. He was really telling me about how judgemental I was and how there is a perfectly good explanation for how it all went down on his end. This nigga really decided that that moment was the right time to pull out the most useless card of all time. He was really telling me about how my behaviour stems from the fact that I think all men are the same.
Yo! since you already know that I think that men ain’t shit, have your actions helped me prove otherwise? You don’t wait 24 hours to talk about how a condom dislodged when we were fucking, you talk about it immediately, or worst case scenario, as soon as he got home. That didn’t happen. Instead, he made excuses for his selfishness and made me look like I was over-reacting. It was an ordeal that I didn’t need, and he could have done much more to be supportive in that situation.
Hi, my name is S and this story just reiterates my opinion that men ain’t shit.