Mr Nice Guy


The phone rang. Dammie picked up. “Hello?” “Hi baby, I’m outside”, replied the voice from the other end of the line. “Tell him you are coming out”, I whispered. She did like I said and hung up. I told her to just play along as this was going to be a great story. Dammie had…


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The phone rang. Dammie picked up.


“Hi baby, I’m outside”, replied the voice from the other end of the line.

“Tell him you are coming out”, I whispered. She did like I said and hung up. I told her to just play along as this was going to be a great story.

Dammie had met this guy on a flight back to Lagos a few months earlier. He said his name was Kenneth; he had been on her case since then. He would take her to lovely restaurants and lounges and buy her expensive perfumes, shoes and all. Dammie told him she wasn’t really looking for anything serious as she had just got out a bad relationship, but he was quite persistent. One Friday, he took us all out. By the end of the night, I was almost in love with him myself! He was such a gentleman. I tried to convince Dammie to give him a chance as he seemed like such a nice guy.

The following week, one of our friends Chisom invited us to a wedding. One her old friends was getting married. It was a big wedding and she needed company since Stanley her boyfriend was unavailable. I told Dammie and she was game. That Saturday, we dressed up, and headed to Oriental hotel. We were a bit late but the later the better, right?

Chisom’s mom was already there and she had saved us some seats. We greeted her, she complimented our outfits and asked us what we were going to eat. As it turned out, she was great friends with the bride’s people. You know there’s nothing like knowing the ‘who is who’ at a party – plenty party Jollof for you! As Chisom’s mum started arranging for us to be served, we sat down and my eyes drifted to the couple. I couldn’t believe what I saw.

Kenneth was the groom.

It was him, seated right there next to the bride. This is not good, I thought to myself. I was about to tap Dammie, but I could see her eyes were fixed steadfastly on the same scene that had shocked me. We both turned to Chisom who was still trying to tell her mom what we wanted to eat. She asked what was going on and we pointed towards where the bride and the groom sat.

“Yes”, she gushed. “She’s beautiful, right?”

This Chisom sha! I know things were going really well with Stanley, but this was certainly not the time to admire the bride and be thinking about #WeddingGoals! Thankfully, her eyes quickly hit the groom and the realisation dawned on her. Her mouth fell open. She looked at me and Dammie.

“Girls, I really had no idea, but how is this possible?!”

Dammie insisted we go closer to get a good look, and we did. It was a huge hall and we avoided getting noticed by Kenneth. We moved closer and confirmed it. It was truly him, sitting next to his beautiful bride, sadly ignorant of her man’s ways.

“I knew he was too good to be true, Mimi”, Dammie said to me. I felt so bad for encouraging her to date him. How could I have known he was a wolf in sheep’s clothing? Her next response chocked me, though.

“Let’s go and eat, jor! We are here already.”

Well, Dammie was nothing if not pragmatic. We ate, danced and tried to make her feel better but she insisted she was okay. We had some fun and headed home. On our way, we all decide to stop over at Dammie’s for a while, just to keep her company.

We had been drinking and gisting for about an hour later when Dammie’s phone rang and it was Kenneth. She showed us the screen and we told her to play along. He asked her if she was home. She said she was and he said he was on his way. We all could not believe it. The man did not even chill for his wedding night! Abi they forced him to marry?

Dammie went outside to meet him when he arrived. I knew she couldn’t wait to confront him; she wasn’t that patient. The next thing I heard were raised voices. Dammie called him a fraud and he said something in a low voice. I was peeping through the curtain; I couldn’t afford to afford miss this drama. Then, a hard slap landed on Kenneth’s face. Satisfied, Dammie turned around and started walking back to the house. Kenneth acted as if she wanted to follow her but he thought against it and got in his car, beeped his horn for the gate to be opened by the gateman and drove off.

When Dammie came back inside the house, she was cursing and fuming. We all tried to calm her down while she gisted us what Mr. Cheat had to say. It turned out he wasn’t repentant. He claimed he just got married to satisfy his people and Dammie was the one he truly wanted. Now the question is, he wanted her as what exactly?


  1. Fille
    It’s like there are no more faithful men in this Lagos, at least that’s my observation; everywhere I turn, it’s some married man trying to get some, shamelessly. I’m even scared of marriage now and I’ve somewhat realigned my goals. Get rich and get a babies and maybe a man.
    1. CeeCee
      My dear, it’s become so hard. It’s like you find the really cool ones and then you find out they are married on engaged. Then you find the once that are cool and single, and they are “Yoruba Demons”. Why does it have to be so hard????
    2. msi
      Not all unfaithful men.when all babes want is an already made man and sonetimes married man. Why not find a single guy and make it with him
  2. Fis
    All these men saying they forced them to marry eh. Like they also forced U to pay for the hall and wear the suit ni. Like guys don’t get married if u don’t want to. It’s unfair to ur wife and to the side chick
  3. Ceecee
    @bubbles ????????Well it turns out it wasn’t the case of Usher and R.Kelly dating the “same girl”. Sadly, I wonder what he thinks building something that is meant to be forever on a lie. I bet it will get exhausting at a point.
  4. Stase
    I read stories like this and I get really scared. None of it is OK but the worse is being the wife whom society dictates can’t leave her husband or cheat on him. One girl refused him who says the next will.
  5. Bola Tolu-Adeliyi
    Hahaha. Love this piece. Sadly it is what is obtainable now. Was married to an irresponsible man like that for years before I got my freedom. Thankfully, I Ave a new man in my life and it has been blissful and we are still counting the years. At least, he loves me and he is not a cheat
  6. Bkd
    …as a second wife, I presume. She should have heard him out. Last I checked, polygamy isn’t a crime…(and polyandry, of course).

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