Rape:  A girls worst nightmare….. you are there thinking ‘ it will never happen to me’ The truth is it can. It happened to me.

So many girls/women out there are being raped everyday but no one wants to talk about it, no one wants to admit it happened or go to the police. Trust me I know the feeling.

When it happened to me 4 years ago, I didn’t open up to my family, not even my friends knew about what happened. I was scared. I felt alone and dirty. And sometimes I still do. Here’s my story….

During my Unilag days, I was the party girl who loved to just have a good time. Looking back now, I lived a life of risk, partying, drinking, fucking, drugs,etc. I am pretty girl, can never remember ever being broke in my life, my dad always made sure money was never my problem. Although I was on campus, getting an education wasn’t my priority. I would sleep miss lectures because I was out until very late the previous night. Maybe I was just young and foolish or probably just missing my mum who did when I was 5. As an only child, I remember feeling lonely a lot  My dad never remarried so I never had other brothers or sisters. I guess being a girl also made my relationship with my dad hard so I used to go and stay a lot with other friends in their houses. Once I was in Abuja and I went to a house party with a friend I met in school and her boyfriend.

We got there and the party was in full swing, after a while, my friend, her boyfirned and a few other peple left the main area where the party was happening and went upstairs to kind of chill. I think at some point I feel asleep because when I woke up, the party was almost over.  There were only about ten people there including my friend and me left in the house. One of the two guys who lived in the house and had organised the took an interest in me. I was kinda high and tipsy and flirting a lot too. We drove off to go look for cigarette and on the way, he said he wanted me to spend the night, I agreed. When we got back to the house I informed my friend that I was gonna spend the night. She kept telling me that it wasn’t a good idea and even got her boyfriend involved. I insisted and she finally gave up. My friend left along with the others. The people remaining now were the two brothers, 2 other girls and me. The youngest brother pulled me aside and warned me that his brother was dangerous and that I should stay in his room instead. At the time, it didn’t make sense to me, I thought the guy just wanted an excuse to sleep with me so I told him no. I walked away to go sit next to his elder brother who was playing a Nintendo game or something like that.

For more than one hour, this guy just totally ignored me and focused on his game, I was getting bored and sleepy from all the drinking. I became uneasy and started wondering if this decision to stay was a good one after all, but it was too late. I was so tipsy and exhausted that even I knew I was helpless if anything wrong happened. I finally told him I was tired and wanted to sleep, it was as if that was what he was waiting to hear all along. He took me to his room and he asked me if I wanted to shower. He brought out new boxers and t shirts and left the room. I remember thinking ‘oh, what a gentle man’. I had a shower, felt slightly better and jumped on the bed to sleep. Barely 5 minutes later, he came into the room and joined me on the bed. He didn’t even say a word, he just started kissing my neck and shoulders moving to my lips. I went along with it. I didn’t know what else to do. After all he did ask me to spend the night and I said yes. I guess based on my ‘positive’ responses, he stood up and locked the doctor. Next thing, he brought out a camera and started taking pictures of me without even asking. I knew this wasn’t right. I made an excuse that the room was too cold and covered myself with the duvet. He took off his clothes remaining only his boxers and joined me. We started making out again but this time, he was rough and aggressive like a hungry lion. My heart started beating faster and I asked him to stop. Laughing he put his hand under my the shirt I was wearing to fondle my breasts, not that I would have minded having sex with him or anything, but his aggression was what set my alarm off. Next thing, he wanted to finger me, that was when I held his hand and looked him in the eye and told him to stop, that I didn’t like what he was doing. He didn’t even say anything; he held my neck pinning me down and took the boxers I was wearing off. You see it was like slow motion, I started crying asking him to stop. The same thing kept coming out of my mouth “stop, please stop” knowing he had no intentions of stopping. What I had imagined rape being like was just the thought of aggressive sex. The hitting, the beating, and then it’s over but I was wrong. This guy didn’t hit me, it was as if he was gonna fuck me the same way whether I wanted it or not. He didn’t threaten me, just knowing I was in his house and he was in control simply paralysed and all I could do was beg. I closed my eyes and wondered and tried to blank it all out but I couldn’t because it was happening, every girls nightmare. I suddenly got courage and started kicking and pushing but being a size 6, I was no match for this guy. All this while he had not even brought his dick out. He just kept on acting like my resistance was all part of the sex.

Next thing he got up took off his boxers and said ‘you see how big I am? You are gonna enjoy this’ I was paralysed with fear, he started stroking himself after rubbing KY jelly until he became hard.  I came back to the bed and penetrated me. I was a willing victim, no struggle, no resistance. It was painful, very painful. I had accepted my fate and knew I was stupid for staying in the house of s stranger I had just met. My body, my soul, and my mind were worn out. I closed my eyes as he grunted and moaned. He didn’t cum, after a while, he just stood up, wore his boxers and left the room. I was sweating and my private part felt bruised. I laid there as still as I could, wanting so bad to run out of that house and scream. But I didn’t, after like 5 minutes when I was sure he wasn’t coming back, I stood up, locked the doctor and went into the bathroom and took a shower, exactly like you see it in the movies, I just broke dfwon and started crying. I don’t know how long I was in the shower for but I when I came out, I noticed it was almost mornig as the day was already getting bright.  I got dressed and unlocked the doctor. I walked into the living room and he was sitted playing his video game. He turned and looked at me…….he smiled.I picked up my phone I had left charging and saw 27 missed calls from my friend. She sent me a BB she was angry, that it wasn’t right that I was ignoring her calls because she was going crazy worrying about me. I just replied and I said I was sorry, I was asleep and my phone was charging in the sitting room. Till today she had no idea what happened and I was in no position to tell her what had happened, or anyone for that matter. I walked out of the compound and took a cab back to my friend’s house. She wasn’t home when I got there so I just went to her room  and ………..I cried.

All this happened four years ago. I won’t say I was foolish, stupid or that I deserved it because I was a wild girl. No girl deserves to be raped even if she walks around naked.  I graduated without an extra year and guess what? With second class upper. That night changed me emotionally. I gradually became outgoing again, I still partied, drank smoked weed but never spent a private moment with anybody of the opposite sex.

Efe, I share this with you for two reasons.

1: There are girls out there who have experienced abuse and need to hear a story similar to mine. They need to know that they are not alone and that no matter what, they are not unworthy or filthy even though they feel that way. I still have days where I think about what happened and I want to kill myself. That night ruined my self-esteem and my relationship with guys but I refuse to let it bind me forever.

2: I needed to tell someone. I needed to let it all out and face the reality of my past because I realise that is the only way I can heal. Pushing it to the back of my mind and acting like it never happened won’t make it go away. I feel better knowing that my story can help someone else cope.

If this happens to you……tell someone. Don’t be ashamed, make a big deal out of it and shame your rapist, he may not go to jail because of our useless legal system but he will think twice before doing it again. And if he does denies it, don’t worry, when the next girl he tries it with raises alarm, people will connect the dots and then everybody will know he is one of the rapist amongst us.

Most importantly, you were not raped because you are a slut or wore sexy clothes or anything like that, you were raped because some men are beasts and you were just unfortunate to have been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Thank you, Linda

 

****************************************

Hello everyone, welcome to another Saturday of sharing. Do you have a personal story to tell? 

****************************************

As always, any email sent to [email protected] asking questions or sharing a secret will be treated discretely and only published as anonymous. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

***************************************

Responses

  1. Mobolaji
    Awwn. :( God bless you for sharing and mend the hearts of many who have been raped and are too ashamed to speak up. It is well.
    5+
    1. single banker 4 now
      I’m sorry u lost ur mom. I wasn’t comfortable you attributed it to your “that’s y u are the way you became the way u were “. No excuse…nonetheless I am sorry u went through wat you went through. I hope you find that closing much soughted after. Hugs lov
      0
  2. kay
    Yes like she said, some men are beasts… Rape destroys a woman emotionally, don't know why some people still don't get it. Our judicial system should do more to see these psychopats punished for their ill deeds. As for the rape victims out their, please pretty there is nothing worng with you, you are not dirty or filth, you are as much woman as anyother female out there. Try and talk about ur experience with people that care about you, 'cos it helps call d scum that hurt you to order, that way he doesn't hurt someone else. God bless you.
    6+
  3. bonie
    This is an experience I wish not even ma enemy. The worst part is not being able to tell someone bcos you feel you brought it on yourself. This brings up traumatic memories of ma experience. God dey
    3+
    1. Gooner
      Truth is for this and a couple of other reasons, like she didn’t scream for help etc, her case would be shredded in court. I have seen stronger cases lose out in court.
      I’m very sorry this happened to her. she ignored many signs cos she wanted sex…. Not rape. Rape is a criminal act and should never be treated lightly. My advice is if a guy starts acting rapey, flee.
      0
  4. Kinsho
    lol. why am I skeptical…?
    this rape story seems dodgy.
    just a day or 2 ago, I saw smfn where babes were arguing that a girl dressing skimpily isn't an excuse for rape.
    Yes that's true. Not arguing against that. Rape is inhumane.
    I just feel this story is convenient, considering d discussion for some days now.
    Oh well, what do I know.
    2+
  5. bonie
    When I tell someone,all I hear is “you shouldn’t have been there”…how abt “you shouldn’t have been raped” ¯..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯
    6+
    1. Tola
      honestly, our cultures are very prone to victimizing the victim. I'm deeply sorry you experienced such an event. I am even more sorry that you got verbally attacked for being physically attacked.
      3+
  6. what is she saying?
    followed a stranger to his house planning to spend d night n sleep in his bed…the plan was to just make out abi? I'm hearing u….gthoh!!!! is he ur pastor or ur brother?
    Rape is wrong n I've heard many sad stories but this one no follow… the lady here went to stand in d middle of an express way hoping no car would hit her…*sigh*
    21+
    1. Tiki
      I guess that means you would deliberately hit a pedestrian crossing the expressway because they did not use the overhead foot bridge?

      Rape is not about the foolishness of the victim. It is about the barbarism of the rapist.

      37+
    2. Tola
      I seriously pray you have to experience what sexual assault feels like, Lord knows I don't. It's very easy to blame the victim because that's usually person who ends up speaking up publicly about it, but what about the the attacker?

      For any kind of violence to occur, all it takes is one person to really loose control. We don't blame the person who lost self control for that moment and possibly many other similar moments, but we blame person who might have just been going about their merry way?? that's the most bullshit theory I have ever heard.

      6+
    3. Dodo
      is she saying, what is wrong with you? I am so sickened knowing there’s still more of you out there……. You are a potential rapist!!
      2+
      1. Josh
        I don’t totally exonerate her from the blame. I say this because, if she didn’t want to have sex then she shouldn’t have made out with the guy or even spent the night in the first place. But then, even at that, we guys should know how to respect a ladies wishes, especially when she doesn’t want to have sex.
        7+
        1. keiskwerd
          she had no problem having sex with this man. She naturally had a problem getting raped. the latter involves violence, does not seek consent. Get the difference. She has no blame in a rape
          2+
  7. Unpopular opinion
    May I just point out that despite this ladies experience, she still parties, drinks and smokes weed. Wasnt being high one if the reasons why she her judgement was a bit clouded n didnt listen to several warnings?
    10+
    1. Berba T
      No you are not allowed to point that out. That’s usually the elephant in the room no-one wants to address: self-responsibility.
      While it’s callous to blame the victims, too many forget that we humans as a race are inherently violent. The strong prey on the weak. It’s just that some are better at controlling their base instincts.
      That’s why you have to be very careful if you don’t have the physical size/strength to resist.
      1+
  8. Eccentric
    i was 8 years old when i was raped by a pastor. It hurts but eventually you have to forgive and let go. Not because of the person but because of yourself. Don't give the person the authority or power to hold you in a cage of your own personal nightmare for the rest of your life. Let go, Be happy and Live on. May God help us all.
    14+
  9. MGee
    A very pathetic story..rape victims are so many in Nigeria. Ladies speak up pls. N TNC, pls always proofread the articles. Lots of typographical errors. All the same, well done guys.
    3+
      1. Chidi Mbanisi
        Perhaps then, the quotes should be taken out, and errors, fixed.
        They are very distracting.
        Touching story, nonetheless.
        3+
  10. emmonfclassic
    How can she enter the lion's den and expect the lion to be docile. Despite the entreaties and warnings from her friend and the rapist's brother, she still decided to stay with the guy…..what other green light can such hope for. She wanted it…simple!!
    7+
      1. Dodo
        I sincerely pray he gets drunk with a drinking buddy, and that one anally rapes him while chanting "He wanted it!!"
        8+
        1. Dodo
          "She wanted it…simple!!" <– you wrote and I quote.
          What you stated above is exactly what makes you a potential rapist meaning you would have done the same had you been in the guys position.
          And on a lighter note, do something about that suit in your avatar.
          6+
          1. emmonfclassic
            cmon….i jst meant that her insisting on sleeping in the guy's roomsent the wrong signal to the guy, the guy is warped so what happenednext was inevitable. Btw what's wrong with my suit pls?
            2+
    1. DannyK
      You do not seem to realise RAPE is sexual intercourse without CONSENT!

      Get that straight first, then we can talk about you stupid suit in your avatar.

      The girl said STOP!.

      Even if she went in there with all her hormones saying YES. The moment you here stop. YOU ARE RAPING.

      I refuse to seriously tackle you and that suit in your avi.

      8+
      1. emmonfclassic
        I did not in any way justify rape or vindicate the rapist pls guys. I was just emphasizing that she put her self in the precarious situation with a guy who has no threshold of reasoning.
        5+
      2. Mike
        Some of u girls just open your mouth and talk anyhow without considering the reality of things…. I still stand to be corrected. Have any of you girls been a man b4?You started it all now you’re shouting STOP STOP are you a traffic officer? Some of you even purposefully prepare yourself to know what a man is up to? Where was your moral bag and your thinking cap when you turn down your friend’s advice? Somebody in high inst. Is no longer a small girl, u bear full responsibility and consequences of your actions and inactions… Some of you should learn to play mature and stop deceiving yourself…. Have respect for your womanhood and have regard for your future…. Stop presenting yourself as tools for experiment… Involve God in your decision making… BE WISE!!!
        5+
        1. Bibi
          Ok Mike. Sit to be corrected. Your comment implies that men are incapable of stopping themselves once engaged in sex. That is a LIE! I know this for a fact. It takes discipline to stop midway, but you CAN stop. No one has to be a man to know this fact. One just has to be a human being who understands that humans are not animals and can control their actions and urges. If your statement was true, it would mean that women are to assume that EVERY man is a rapist, since men are incapable of controlling their urges.

          As for your moralizing, save it please! First of all your tone is disrespectful. Secondly, you can’t and should not blame this lady or any other rape victim for a rapist’s act. Even if she danced naked in front of him, he had no right to her body and has committed a crime against her.
          Further, the God you called tells us to love one another and correct one another in love. Clearly, you paid no heed to this instruction when you wrote your words down. I think it is you who needs to involve God more in your words, actions and thinking.

          3+
    1. Carl tannehill jr
      . I sometime fill. Lone i could be a rapist with whay happened to me!! But i think i don’t have a big cock and i gey discussed and just fantasize about if i was well hung would i have already been a rapist!! Deep thoughts. Ive been raped since 5year old yo 14 then went to jail.@ 16 and. Got gangbanged by 8 blackmen and my cellie haf me all he wanted at his hands all were bbc!! But now i want a bbc to be my partner!! I want bkack man to serve and to get served ad well if u know any black men. Have them call me they wont be disappointed. 417 755 1741
      0
  11. Frankices
    Lemme get this straight. U were going to have sex with him anyway, but uve called it rape bcos he fingered u 1st n u wanted straight penis or wat?

    Now u think ure the victim. Stop being silly. U set urself up for it. This isn't about u dressing skimpily or anything and him taking advantage of u. Rapists shud be tortured to death, but pls. Don't even piss me off.

    So after allowing him kiss n grope ur naked body n responding, u want to just tell him no n he'll stop? Are u serious? Pls go n look for sumwhere to sit down. U. Have. No. Case. *hiss*

    12+
    1. thetoolsman
      Are you really trying to say someone doesn't have the right to change their mind? Even a married woman at the point of penetration should be able to tell her husband, you know what, not today and because it isn't his body he HAS to respect that. He can sulk and even fight her all he wants after but ANY attempt to FORCE someone into having sex with you (regardless of how you got to that position in the first place – yes, even if she's a prostitute you picked up on the road) is RAPE.
      24+
      1. Meyer Lansky
        Exactly!!!!!!!!!!……..toolsman took the words out of my mouth.

        Too many cases of date rape for us to ignore. I remember some years ago my friend told me how her boyfriend raped her. She was going to "give" him but he decided to "take" it. Its never ours to "take"

        4+
      2. Frankices
        LOL! Yeah but will u put ur hand in fire n ask it not to burn u?

        Its all gud n fine to say the man shud be able to pull out wen she says no. Sounds gud. In theory. Wat about practice? CAN the male do that?

        I still say she has no case. I wud copy my above comment n post here if I hadn’t posted it already. So she’s now telling everyone here so that wat? She played with naked wire n got electrocuted. Sori. Don’t do it again. Now go take a seat.

        For pete’s sake! She didn’t lead him on by smiling seductively or even agreeing to spend the nyt oh. She engaged in naked heavy petting. Am I the only one seeing that? Abegi! Let’s be realistic.

        4+
        1. DannyK
          Don't be an illiterate.

          Does fire have ears? That should be your question.

          Scratch that. You really must have skipped school the day other class members were taught the definition of RAPE.

          11+
          1. Dafididafidi
            No fire “”DOES NOT I REPEAT DOES NOT HAVE EARS”” and that’s the exact reason why one should not play with fire. Before you descend on me wand call me a rapist I am not fire and do have ears however the guy she tried it out with was “”FIRE”” QED
            Am sorry for the lady but must say she has herself yo blame giving all the WARNINGS that she was playing with FIRE
            2+
          2. joshua
            U guys ar just beating around the bush. If she didn’t want it, then wh was feeling bad when d guy was focused on hus Nintendo game n not on her, why didnt she stop him when they started making out, why did she wait till he was about to finger her before she said no?? ..whatever happenned to saying no at the beginning?? Whateva happened to let ur yes b yes, n not a mayb?? …what d guy did was barbaric, bt d girl also had a huge role to play too
            4+
        2. justmyopinion
          The fact that she decided to spend the night or make out with him doesn’t mean she deserved it. He already intended to rape her starting from taking pictures of her while she was not properly dressed and being aggressive. So you see… that’s the point. You can’t blame her for not knowing what he had planned to do or for wanting to back out when he became aggressive. It’s not like he cared to know why she was stopping… infact I think it’s right to say he just wanted to rape although she was willing to have sex with him. So basically it wasn’t in her power because he had an agenda already
          0
    2. Haddie
      How I wish nigeria's system took psychiatric and psychological help seriously. Yes, because she said stop and he didn't, she was raped. Blind as you may be to that, it saddens me that there are many more out there just like you. Efe, I can empathize with you more than you can ever imagine. I've found the only thing you can do is forgive(never quite forget), and take each day as it comes. I'm glad you are one of the fortunate ones who have not allowed such an incident to ruin their happiness. Not all men are such heinous pigs.
      2+
    3. Echeccentric
      I beg to differ.

      Her consent at the time doesn’t mean she could not change her mind. I could make out with someone and not want to go all the way. She did not want it to go any further than making out with him. I can’t say exactly must have been going on in her mind when there was fondling involved. But the fact that she was able to say no. stop. should make the guy pause a bit and ask if she’s serious and she wants him to really stop.

      What about the picture taking? he did not respect her boundaries. he basically took advantage of a drunk girl. and there’s really no excuse for him.

      7+
      1. ahrdonais adinoyi
        what about the ones who didnt say stop? we both know its mostly the same, the disillusionment and crying thing and never coming back bit… sometime we know and feel sorry about the whole situation and we also know the docility, quietness etc is more eloquent than a shouting STOP. Now if u did not stop in such situations u r really no better than the guy above. and such bullshit is the kind that get powerful players like colsby and tyson into trouble in America. usually it makes little difference if the STOP is verbal or silent.
        1+
    4. Nneka
      Are you saying that if i walk into a bar and order whiskey, i have no right to change my mind about taking the shot after the bartender serves it? I’m sorry but your comment sounds retarded.

      I was a rape victim at the age of 9 and I can tell you for free, that NOBODY deserves rape.

      Everybody has a right to change their minds if they are suddenly not feeling up to it. Even wives.Or husbands.

      Don’t even piss me off. U.Have.No.Point. *hiss*

      0
    1. Rolayo
      Before someone comes and jumps at me for being a potential rapist, I am not saying what the guy did was right. It’s never right to rape a woman or a man. But can we please be real and admit that what happened to her was a result of a series of bad choices that she made herself ?
      She herself isn’t denying that she had ignored the signs.
      Let’s advise those around us to also see the signs and run at the smell of danger. There will always be evil people amongst us no matter how loud we raise our voices, so let’s also be wise.
      12+
      1. Yujay 24
        Yes o!
        we agree with you. She made a series of bad decisions. However, it doesn’t take away from the fact that she was raped by a barbaric idiot.
        Let me paint a picture.
        Mr A was going home from work late one night. Please note that it was his decisions to work late because his task had no deadline. He had 10k in his pocket that he had every intention of donating to Mr B’s charity earlier in the day but he did not make it to the orphanage on time to drop the money.
        While walking into his street, he made a spur of the moment decision to take a short cut because he was tired and hungry. He needed to get home quickly. This short cut is not very well lit, and can be quite lonely sometimes. Unfortunately for Mr A, tonight was one of those nights when it was lonely. Mr B and his gang attacked Mr A on the way, took his 10k,his phone, and even shot him on the leg in the process.
        Question: Does the fact that Mr A made a series of bad decisions, or the fact that his original plan for the 10k was to give it to Mr B’s charity take away from the fact that Mr B is an armed robber that needs to be apprehended?
        Does it take away from the fact that Mr A is a victim of armed robbery?

        Let me answer the questions for free. Mr B is an armed robber, and Mr A was a victim.

        All the people here pointing accusing fingers, stupidly saying “she wanted it” are a part of the problem we have in our society. Grow some sense and support the right thing …

        1+
  12. Kopho Jomo
    ‘Lion’s Den’? Wow!!! Who ever knows before hand that they are going to get raped? Like one would know one would get raped and still enter the trap? Wow…such a warped mentality…nobody deserves to be raped…
    3+
  13. Gabbie
    I am terribly disgusted by some on the comments here…………… Are you out of your damn mind????? Oh yes you are out of your damn mind! Y'all must have been busy rapping people in the name of 'I dint beat her so it's not rape, she kissed me so she asked for it, she slept over so she had it coming bal bla bla…..'' The scary and disgusting part of all this is that you don't see anything wrong with it…………. Karma better get your ass! Karma best rape your ass silly!
    5+
  14. Afedziba
    I just don’t know anyone could justify rape; it’s like saying this person annoyed me so I’m going to kill him and because (and i quote) ”the plan was to”” kill him and because the person (and i quote) ”went to stand in the middle of an express way hoping no car would hit her”, ie, in this case the person is standing in front of you, then you’re justified. No matter the situation, rape is one of the sickest, most retarded and disgusting things any human being could ever do, no one should try and justify it, it’s pathetic and appalling.
    3+
  15. tee
    For crying out loud, she even begged him not to. Doesn’t that say something. Rapists are as good as muderers. That’s all!
    4+
  16. ptyzee
    rape's a scary tin quite alrit bt we can put al d blame on d rapist. U av to admit u put urslf in d situatn, 4 God's sake u slept ova dier aus evn afta ur friend and hr bf ad gn, U practicaly askd 4 it! I'm female myslf and pray neva to xperienc such bt evn i knw wn i'm playn wit fire, wch i do a lot actualy, bt if such tin wer to apn it wld be my fault cos yl der sm real psychos out dr who set out to actualy rape girls, most cases of rape wr nt premeditatd, most ppl prbbly gt d wrng impresn 4rm harmles flirtatn and find it hard to stop cos dy rly cant contrl dmslvs. Mst guys r rly nt any beta dan animals, dy snif and dat's al. Botomline, any average guy is a potntial rapist it jst falls on u to protect urslf
    3+
  17. justice
    *clears Throat* I See A lot Of People here committing fallacy ad-hominem, Firstly Rape is a crime and no1 shud condone it in any form or manner. As long as d “voluntariness” of d sex is in doubt den it might be rape. But Before we all go on blaming our judicial system, I personally think people shud help themselves d Law wunt help u prove ur case u wud. And I beg to say d “victim” in dis case wud find it hard to prove that she was “forcefully” penetrated, non of us were there present so we really dnt knw what happened. At best it wud be her words against his and in an “adversarial” system of adjudication it is for d prosecution to proof beyond all reasonable doubt. On that premise I beg to say that if u suspect dat an environment is harmful please flee like joseph did to potifa’s wife. *sideNote* the fact that armed robbery is a crime doesn’t me we shud keep our valueables unguarded. The qustn of weda she/he was raped or not wud only come after d deed has been done and d scares wud be on d victim….so likes not get to that point be wise as d serpent and may the good Lord protect us from the prying eyes of the wicked! *apologises*
    8+
  18. PAAL
    Thanks, Justice… Rape is criminal, different rape stories show victims in precarious situation. This narrative is one of the reasons rapist walk free. There is a potential rapist in every potent man
    3+
  19. ahrdonais adinoyi
    women hmmm. you collaborated to this and yes it wasnt exactly to your silly expectations and so you’d rather its stopped? no wonder women are to be protected not only from rapists but from themselves as well….
    0
  20. Stubborn Boi
    So some people read this story and came to the conclusion that this girl was raped?

    I’m not saying that she has no right to feel raped but I am disputing the fact that she was actually raped.

    I appreciate her honesty in telling us how she ignored warnings but to turn around and allege rape is most unbecoming and those going around to label people as potential rapists are not being very respectful of the views of others.

    Doesn’t the guy get to tell his own story? Try piecing his story from hers and you will come to the natural conclusion that she was not raped.

    I commiserate with her on her feelings of hurt and wish her all the best life has to offer, I also advice to always be clear as to what she wants from guys and not lead them, have sex with them and cry rape in the morning

    2+
    1. Vex
      “To turn around and allege rape?” Didn’t u even read d article? Can u even be dt clueless? Lemme tell u no matter how drunk or high u are some things (esp bad things) remain crystal clear in your brain. M sorry but didn’t u even read d part whr he stood and started stroking himself with lube? U wdnt do dt if u were about to have consensual sex and d lady was willing getting wet for u! I really dnt know wt u think rape is, but if dt sort of thing happened to ur sister u’d still blame her. Rape doesn’t happen because u courted it, it just happens, to anybody and its quite unfortunate. She could have ignored d warnings because she was drunk and at d time wd probably never have believed dt rape cd happen to her much less at a house party. Usually wen u think of rape u think dark corners and lonely streets and louts or agberos and d like. Of course ur not a woman so u wdnt know how painful forceful penetration without adequate prep is and if he was dt big den it wd hv been even more so. Abegi! No matter how drunk u are u cannot still be drunk wen ur being raped. Now u’ve prolly been drunk b4. Imagine some kind of modern day spartacus grabbing u frm behind in ur drunken state and shooting his dick into ur ass and tell me just how drunk u wd still be. So pls do not come here and insinuate dt d story was warped. Sometimes d oda person’s side of d story is not worth hearing. After all, u can hardly expect him to admit dt he raped her.
      5+
  21. myhonestthoughts

    11146524_821141057935537_5127360731892729192_n

    I guess most Pple are looking at it from the girl’s view only, one it was a party she said she was high, drunk and all… as anyone taken a minute to think what if the guy was high and drunk too… could av influenced him….
    On another note when girls think it’s hard to talk when they’re raped.. think twice it’s harder for a guy to speak out when he is raped…
    5+
  22. Tessa Doghor
    I tire
    Please rape a girl
    Then report to the police that she made out with you
    Then spend life in prison because you didn’t hear her say stop.

    Crash your opinions.
    Just know what the law says.
    That’s all that matters.

    4+
  23. G B
    For all her ‘shortcomings’, she’s still a victim. We say a lot about how women shouldn’t lead men on and all, but we never talk about how men should be better at HEARING “no”. Even if she says no mid-thrust, as frustrating as it is, stop. We’re men not goats.
    5+
  24. Late commentator
    I don’t know where I read this. About a recent judgement that was passed in the UK. It was a case of a woman who gave her consent for sex on the condition that the man would not “nut” inside her. The man broke the rule and the woman filed a case against him for rape. The court ruled in her favour stating that the man obtained the consent for sex by fraud, hence the act should be termed rape. Men should know when to stop especially when a woman is no longer comfortable with act. Many clauses have been added to the definition of rape world wide. Nigerians should step up!! Imagine carrying this mentality some of us have here to civilised countries, and default, you would sleep in jail for a long time.
    7+
  25. Jay
    A rapist is a rapist….and should b practically condemned….bt i believe dat point has been highly over emphasized….wat i think is dat females should learn to take responsibilities for their actions…..d girl in dis story was just like my neighbours beautiful daughter who went out clubbing and was coming back late(3am to b precise) and was robbed….i noticed dat of all d sympathisers…not one of them talked about d robbers..they were all critisizing d girl…..bt had it been she was coming back during d day(lets say by 1pm) and was robbed
    less people we critisize her…
    this is my point….d girl in d story made a bad decision and should b responsible for her actions…cos if u continue to blame others for ur mistakes then u can never learn…
    0
    1. keiskwerd
      had you read your comment again, you yourself would notice the flaw in your hypothesis. Doesn’t the fact that whether she was robbed during the day or night didn’t change the fact that she was robbed but only the number of people that criticise her count for something? Or rather expose the ridiculousness of our thought processes? So who do u blame when a churchgoer returns from a night vigil at 3am and is robbed since the culprit is the clubbing? Lets face it. We prey on women, we judge them for their fortunate and unfortunate experiences and expect them to own up to acts of irresponsible creatures called men. Because we are misogynistic by nature.
      1+
  26. fayte
    My worst fears…rape,robbery and accidents. Was close to being raped in ss3. I needed to go home from the boarding house so I lied I was ill. My mum picked me up from school and two nights later, my mum travelled and i had my first robbery experience at home. We were all made to lie down and the next I heard was you…come. I died. I was taken to the toilet where the one of the robbers tore my pant and asked me to bend. I began struggling. At that moment,I started “pls,I’m a small girl o, I have infection I have HIV/AIDS bla bla bla” no tear could come outfrom my eyes. I was too shocked. As God will have it,he hid me behind d drum of water and asked me not to come out. When they were about going,he led me into the room to join the others. We were 5 ladies there and four were raped,I wasn’t. But that night changed my life. God saved me. That’s my testimony.
    6+
    1. keiskwerd
      OH MY GOD!!! I’ve not heard a more traumatic story! Im so sorry for what you went through. What your mom would have to go through. What the other 4 must have gone through, at that time and afterwards.
      Beyond that, in reality, you’d have earned no right to rejoice at that time for your good fortune lest you appeared insensitive. You’d have had to put your self in the shoes of the raped victims. Even terrible.
      Worse still, human nature, they wouldn’t even believe you weren’t raped. They’d tell themselves that to feel better. And when they are not doing that, they’d be hating you for getting away.
      Either way, all 5 of you were victims. There’s no justifiable excuse for rape, to put one through this is sad.
      I do hope you all take advantage of appropriate counselling.
      1+
  27. Segun
    Am pretty confused cos i’ve heard that most times when a woman says NO, she really means yes(have experienced it too). And there are some lapses in d story eg. the part where she sed ‘he stood UP and was rubbing his willy after applying KY jelly’ it has got me wondering, did she jst lie there waiting for him to finish and come back? couldn’t she have made for d door? for the story didn’t mention d guy possessing a weapon or anything. Long story short Rape z absolutely bad cos its a violation of one’s dignity but the girl is also culpable as well as d guy.
    0
  28. CandidHassey
    No. Nothing excuses rape. Sex should involve consent from all parties involved.
    The girl said stop. She begged him to stop. She begged him. I don’t know why some people are giving silly excuses like “maybe he was drunk, she was in the room with him, she asked for it.” She did not ask for it. She did not. She told him to stop. But he was lucid enough to take pics, use a lube etc. Some of you are even doubting her story. This is the reason many women do not say anything when they are raped. Because they feel shame and blame themselves. And because society blames them too. Hence the rapist goes scot free and rapes others. Rape is not the victims fault. The rapist exercises his power and loves the control he has over the victim.
    Pls, stop perpetuating rape by blaming the victim and feeding the silence of rape victims. Support them when they say their story. It takes courage and strength for rape victims to tell others.
    Hmmm. I just pray that this mentality of victim blaming will stop. Because it will make rape even more prevalent. So the next time u blame a victim of rape, thinking about the snowball effect it has.
    2+
  29. ken
    Are you good in bed? Do you really need a rich hot sugar
    mummy or sugar daddy that can change your life
    completely with money and influence? So get the
    opportunity to meet sugar mummies/lesbians from all
    works of life, politicians, bankers, oil companies working
    ladies, executives , directors, gold ladies, cash money
    ladies, ITA GIWA group of friends, doctors, dubai ladies,
    london based ladies, ladies willing to pay as much as
    100,000_300,000 , and get the best exclusive VIP
    arrangement anywhere in Nigeria… (LAGOS, ABUJA,
    CALABAR, DELTA, ANAMBRA, P.HARCOURT, RIVERS, KOGI,
    KADUNA, JOS, ABIA, IBADAN, ONDO, BENIN, ANY WERE IN
    NIGERIA) We have hot rich sugar mummies who are
    urgently in need of sugar boys and rich daddies who are
    looking for young girls to spend their money on just by
    satisfying their sexual needs.. You think you got what it
    takes, why not put a call through now to Mr ken ON
    08142377772 and get connected immediately.
    0
  30. Truth
    Hi, I know this is an old post but I just felt I should react. Yes the girl was in error by not heeding advice but the guy is an animal. Some people here say she let him have foreplay with her and should not cry rape. I am telling you that what makes a man is having control during an intercourse. You could be petting a girl and doing all but she changes her mind in the middle of the whole thing and says NO STOP. The right thing for you to do is let her be. If you call yourself a guy man you can get access to same girl on another day. In fact what makes a guy man is the ability to know how to treat a lady that she will be the one who want you to have her and not when you show your strength by forcing her against her wish. For some of the guys blaming her, there’s nothing wrong in the guy trying his skill but there’s everything wrong in forcing the skill.
    2+
  31. Eddy Derek

    IMG_20151125_184212

    Am truly Sorry for what that might have caused you..thanks for sharing that, I strongly believe it would help our teenagers. Furthermore, move on coz life goes on. Change from ur ways..coz partly u caused it too….u made such decision. It was an inevitable consequence of the decision.
    1+
  32. Victor U Ovedhe
    Why call that a rape? It was a pre-determined sexual activity that you seems to be expecting, he requested for a night out in his house, you obliged, all that was missing was that, he treated you like a slot, which you gave room for, I suppose the only thing missing in all was that, the guy had sex with you which you expected anyway, but he ever added any passion to it, cos you never presented yourself honourably.
    1+
    1. keiskwerd
      Plenty rapists on this thread o. So apparently you rape sluts you patronise? That’s why you refer to that as the treatment appropriate for a slut. Sluts are not to be raped rapist!
      0
  33. commonsense

    the-basic-rules-of-buttoning-a-suit-jacket

    sentiments aside peeps.read dis rape narration well and u will realise DAT even in the most “liberalised” judicial systems in d world,dis exact story repeated before a law court wit a female judge and a jury will never get a rape conviction .the lady “victim” is not a toddler,she should own up to the responsibilities of her actions.or is she saying that she is a nut case? .if the brother of the rapist warned you,not to sleep in d “rapist’s” room,wat else were u looking for ? read again where she said-‘its like this 1 is a gentleman’,wen d “rapist asked her to go and bath.in fact there shud be a punishment in law for her extremely irresponsible behavior,a new term fashioned in criminal justice for such feminine sexual misdemeanor.”seduction wit intent to criminalize”,it is a whole new concept in rape crime litigation
    2+
  34. Macpat
    Well if we read d strory well nd truly undastnd wot we read der were indications dt d lady wanted it dt nit nd she went 4 it. But wot trigger her fear was hw aggressive d guy was on her nd dts y sheee lost d urge nd started telling d guy to STOP. As d guy refused to stop,her feelings (urge) was replaced wit fear etc nd dt is hving SEXUAL INTERCOURSE OUT OF ONES CONSENT OR WILLING wic is RAPE
    1+
  35. KAS
    You were wrong with “some men are beast”… Except mad men, have you seen a sane man walking (intentionally) with his dick out especially in the name of looking more masculine or sexy or to attract opposite gender???? Let’s face the fact, some things from girls prompt the rapists to do it! Example, even if you were well dressed and look mature and all, why did you agree to sleep in a strangers house? Do we call that been friendly? That’s what caused your rape in the first instance… Girls walking in the night in dangerous places got raped too… Girls wearing provocative dresses got raped too… Drunk girls… Girls that like money… E.t.c…. If you want to know that all the problem is from the girls. Wear some pant and bra, go to zoo. Get into 1 ape cage and see what happen! Then again, wear good cloth and go there again. Your first attempt may make the ape go wild on you but the second attempt, the ape may think “who be dis na?”… I personally hate violence, especially in sex. What’s the pleasure in having sex that the partner is not enjoying? Ki lode! If my girl say what am doing is paining her or I see that she dey do face one kind, I dey commot am straight ni. So the guilt is not for those idiot blood minded guys that thing rape is good. And girls. You can avoid because it not compulsory for you to walk in dangerous places too. Am sure you’ve hear “As I dey walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I come dey wonder, wetin carry me come here”… Thanks for sharing and good you’ve learn your lessons.
    0
  36. ekegha chidiebube grace
    sorry for what happened but is good for one to mind the kinds of friends we keep.

    for the Bible said the friends we move with either make us or mire us.
    our youths today are busy coping the western world way of dressing which is not good.
    please let us learn to fear God in all we do and He will guide us and protect us from all evil.
    choose God fearing friends and you see the good side of life.
    God bless you as you read Psalms chapter 1:1-6 .

    1+
  37. Mayor
    Rape is entering a woman when she is not ready and when she is not enjoying it. If a guy is halfway there and the woman says stop, he should go and mastirbate and relieve himself instead of continuing and giving the excuse that the girl wanted it.
    1+
  38. TakmitoChurch
    I’ve heard a lot of sad rape stories but I don’t understand this one. I’m not judging her for living her life the way she wants but from her story the outcome is very predictable. But still no one deserves to be raped. Better safe than sorry
    0
  39. Eneh Grace
    am so sorry over what happened to you dear. I pray u get healed even if the memories if the ugly incident won’t depart from your mind.
    0
  40. @deddy t

    IMG-20150317-WA001

    Y. Can’t must of u get dis straight she was no matter if she was drunk or she turn deaf ear to warning did u know dat even if she didn’t turn deaf ears. What will happen will still happen wat if the guy. Invited her after the party which is another that guy as the intention of doing it some that’s it don’t blame her cus it cn happen to anybody
    0
  41. casey

    A_Boy_and_Girl_Riding_Together_on_a_Bike_Royalty_Free_Clipart_Picture_110527-178270-295053

    what about guys that are bn raped by the ladies ?

    no one talks about that….
    almost 1 in 8 guys most have been molested by a girl and no one talks about it…
    well take heart hope others learn from her mistakes…

    0
  42. victor
    from the look of things it seems you wanted this to happen, you probably had a crush on the guy… this is the truth everyone is afraid of speaking
    0
  43. evangelist

    tmp-cam--2073457549

    Yes I read all the comments and the story very well,some of you commented well some was just trying to cover up her selfishness after her friend warned her,let us follow the truth a guy you don’t know before you followed him to his house is ashawo people will behave like that, second you are drunk and so high knowing fully well that anything can happen you followed him the guy is not your brother and he still single you followed him my sister am sorry for what happened but you are the cause of it all you people are not wood the guy is not a woman like you to my own understanding of the story it’s not rape please but the two of them had sex thanks
    2+
    1. Yujay 24
      Evangelist Oshiiii!!!!
      If a woman you hold dear (sister, daughter, e.t.c) ever goes through such, please be sure to tell her she just had sex.
      Thank you.
      0
  44. el_drill
    I once found myself in a situation like this,she wanted at first,but changed her mind in the course of romance.I stopped,and do you know what,she did that to test me.Only for her to later gave her consent ….Guys should learn to avoid being rapist all for a 15mins pleasure…its so uncalled for…thats a beastly attitude that need to stop in our society today.
    1+
  45. Fae
    Rape is messed up,rapists should get their shii cut off or something. Buh c’mon,really?? You don’t walk in the middle of a busy street and rely on the sanity of the drivers to not run you over. I mean, personally I would swerve to avoid running you over, as I believe would quite a number of guys out there. But hate it as you want, there’s that deviant percentage of people in our society that would run you over. Yes, no one should run anyone over cos it’s not cool. But there are people out there who simply will do it. So you got raped…I’m soo sorry about that bug truth is thats all I can do. I sha believe in better safe than sorry so…you walked in the busy street,some driver dint have the normalcy of mind/dint mind enough to run you over,sorry. But then again,you’re less likely to get run over if you’re using the pedestrian walkway.
    1+
  46. Raquel
    Nice Contributions…But the Girl Has the Least Blame and the Guy Is A Monster Cos He Even Smiled At His Misdeeds(the Way Sluts Are Being Treated Tho)….Maybe He Thought She Was one Of those
    0
  47. Jeremiah
    I’m feel so much empathy for u….Yes,u were raped cos at some point u said “No” to the act but the bitter truth is u share a part of the blame….
    0

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

+