It is the most beautiful day of her life – the day when she is the cynosure of all eyes. She can do no wrong today.
Alluring in her custom made wedding dress from Milan, and seated majestically on her neck is a vintage pearl handpicked from the Arabian Colosseum.

The day when she formally gets to make her prince her lord. The crowd is seated, awaiting the beautiful bride. The groom draped in his bespoke Italian suit is grinning from cheek to cheek, his countenance drenched in pleasant blush as the seemingly flawless damsel arrives the venue and across the hall are gentle whispers from other guys about how beautiful she appears.

The ceremony seems to be going as expected till it gets to the point where it becomes scripted.

The officiating priest asked the couple to repeat certain lines after him. Like a politician who can’t wait to loot public treasury, they impatiently repeat whatever the clergy says with little or no time to reflect on what they are saying. Talk about due diligence. This is not a software installation where you rush to accept those lengthy terms and conditions. This is a lifetime contract whose terms barely last more than five sentences.

The central theme of the say-after-me ritual is “for better for worse, till death do us part.”

Herein lies my unease. What kind of death is being referred to? Physical, Psychological or emotional?

I understand many married people are dead emotionally. Others are dead psychologically. Unfortunately, some are dead physically.

One advantage of the previous two is that there is still a chance at rebirth. When a person dies emotionally or psychologically, she can still recover but the physical death is the finality of life. Physical death can be likened to when the writer of a person’s life drops his pen.

I must admit at this point that I am not an authority in this subject. However, in my opinion, I think any form of death should be a legally and socially acceptable basis for the termination of this admirable institution in which certificates are issued to you at the beginning.

Lest I forget, wedding vow is a man-made construct. I don’t recall anyone in the bible taking them. Then again, what do I know???

Image via Buzz SouthAfrica


  1. Dre
    Am of d view that couple at d altar be given like 20mins after d vow has been read to meditate b4 given an answer. But who cares…might be a good time to catch a nap or continue with reception preparations plus public opinion wont allow a person who thinks he/she is making a mistake to opt out.
    1. Larz
      When you write / choose your vows (which is usually done in advance of your wedding). That is when the meditation on it starts. Speaking the vows on yr wedding day shouldnt be the first time you think about / hear about your vows
  2. Tessa Doghor
    Marriage is a covenant.
    Very scary
    As much as it is scary, it being a covenant is also a guarantee.
    You want to exchange vows with someone who values his/her word and keeps his/her promises.
    Even then, it won’t be easy, it doesn’t promise to be easy because much of it is dying to self.
    How easy is that?
    You can’t do it without God?
  3. Chuwka
    Every form of death as legal/social basis for termination…

    Now that’s a line I love there … I have no problems with non-conformity nor attitude towards free-thoughts … I totally agree…
    But then, what do I even know about these things ehn…

  4. Cavey
    I said this in my post here a couple of weeks ago! Just from a different angle but some message!
    Wedding vows, whether echoed after the priest or an original, are the real marriage ceremony. Not the white dress, not the music, unfortunately, not even the Jollof Rice! The vows are the binding pledge/promise to make sure the marriage will work and they shouldn’t be taken lightly.
  5. Berry
    Well, maybe psychological death should be used as a basis to terminate a marriage now adays because people are crazy! but I don’t totally agree with the emotional death. Why on earth am I getting married when I can sleep around with so many people and dump them immediately the feelings are gone.Nice write up any ways
  6. Wisdom
    Something’s can’t be overrated. Marriage inclusive. The way people are hoping in and out of marriages with flimsy excuses is like Arsenal hoping in and out of Champions League with flimsy excuses like Barcelona or Bayern Munich was the opponent.
    With foresight and common sense, people should be able to foresee these stuffs considering the complexity in human differences. Not everything is an irreconcilable difference – legally speaking.
    If people can’t keep their vows, no need saying it. The ancient had stronger relationship without vows. Education has taking away a large chunk from human reasoning.
    There are truer tears at the airports than wedding halls. Wedding is all about glamour. People spend time and money preparing for weddings and forget to plan for the marriage. Like the author said “what do I know?”

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *