Yeah, you read that right. I’m a one woman Netflix and Chill brigade. None of that fornication nonsense. Nah. I watch Netflix and chill. A lot. By myself. Who needs company when you have wifi, right?

I suppose an alternative title to this post could be “The Woes of a Faux Extrovert”. You know when you go out, have a great time, get people laughing at your jokes and have decent conversations so people get shit twisted and think you actually like human beings? Or when people just assume you want to socialise when there’s ogi waiting for you at home? These are the woes of an individual struggling with friends and acquaintances who won’t let her introversion be great.

All this girl needs in this life of sin is food and wifi. With nutrition and a steady internet connection, all things are possible. But how do we balance this with living in the real world? You guys know now. That world where you have to put yourself out there, network and all that. This isn’t even for bae seizing purposes now. You literally can’t live this life as a wallflower. You’ll just find yourself tweeting depressed subs when your mates are buying house. Don’t be mad at me. I didn’t make the rules.

Please don’t mistake introversion for shyness. Yes, some people struggle with both, but liking your personal space isn’t always a sign of social awkwardness or low self esteem. It just means sometimes (or most times), you prefer silence in your own company to noise in others’. It’s pretty straightforward. Yet inconvenient.

So, the question remains how does one get over this? For me the answer is exactly that. Get over it. Get over yourself. Life is what it is, so you can push yourself out of your comfort zone from time to time or just stay in your lane and watch opportunities pass you by. Easier said than done, so there’s always plan B: Fake it till you make it.

Anyone out there have funny stories of being “forced” to hang out when you really just wanted your bed? Or being the introvert in a clique of extroverts? Or even being an introvert married to someone from the other side? How do you manage your personality with the demands of your job, business and social life in general?

You know the drill. Express you.

Responses

  1. A Loco Viva Voce
    Sorry can’t help you here. I’m the extrovert and life of the party. Have always been. Toned in waaaaay down after I got married cos my husband is overly introverted. He’s the exact opposite of me. So I literally have to drag him out every now and then and I realised over my married years that I actually have to keep doing the “dragging” for us to have a healthy relationship. One time I almost gave into his introversion and decided to live in his own life and our relationship suffered as a result. Yes we stayed home together and spent more time watching tv in each others company than outdoors and most importantly, we stopped fighting over me wanting to drag him out every time BUT we eventually realised that all of those stuff I no longer did were precisely why our relationship suffered. Then guess who now wants me to take him along to social gatherings lol.
    So yeah my point is as much as we want a quiet life, a social life is VERY important if we want a healthy relationship. So make out the time. Oyibo people call it Date night. So yeah get up, go somewhere and do something together at least once a week. Even as a single person. It’s very necessary.

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    1+
    1. Olushola
      “So yeah get up, go somewhere and do something together at least once a week.” This is the most stressful thing in life so far.Going out can wait till I’m done napping, sleeping, eating, reading, working, playing games, pressing phones,ironing, washing, cooking and all. Life is too short to jump around, Abeg.

      But then, there’s this “many sides to a person” theory which actually explains why I can easily abandon my comfort for some moments of “extroverti-ism”

      1+
      1. A Loco Viva Voce
        That’s the mistake a lot of couples make. Date night doesn’t always mean go to a fancy restaurant. It could be a walk down the park together. Or window shopping. Or even just out visiting friends. The point is you need to find a way to do something together in a different environment other than what you’re used to. It helps keep your intimacy intact.
        0
  2. Snow
    “when there’s ogi waiting for you at home?”
    I swear my mind is corrupt. I read this very differently!!!

    Introvert in a clique of extroverts, That’s me. I’d rather just stay home and sleep or read or play football manager. TV is not even on the agenda (too much noise), but my friends are wild ones, extremely wild, so sometimes I have to don a mask or cape and just be open and social when the need calls. The key is to carve out a place for yourself in the group, I became the guy who could make a joke out of anything, and also the go-to guy for any partnership (money or otherwise)
    Oddly, it feels almost effortless now that i can switch personalities between introversion and extroversion, only if the person is worth it and depends on what they want.

    5+
  3. Kels
    Sigh… This struggle. In a world where everyone is expected to operate in groups or be a team player, staying true to your introvert nature can cost you a lot. Can’t remember the last time i saw a job requirement that didn’t include “people person or team player”. You can’t go to a job interview and tell them you’re an introvert cos all they’ll see is someone that’ll be the cold turkey in the office, so you sit there and deny your very nature with a smile on your face cos thats what everyone expects from you.
    I’m an introvert and I do my best work when i do it alone, tedious but it works for me. I’m fairly certain its same with other introverts. To survive I’ve had to carve my own space like Nosa said, create this other version of myself that appeals to the demands of my social life and everyone, a necessary evil to retain my sanity in this pot of beans life.
    6+
  4. teminiran
    I LOVE my own company. Sometimes (as in once in a very blue moon) I get bored, but as long as I have internet, my laptop/phone, and FOOD I’m straight. Often times at parties (especially evening club parties) there’s a point where I just dream about being in my bed, watching a netflix movie and eating. I really just like my time alone and the only time I enjoy going out is when food/movie is involved. Daz it.
    3+
    1. Ray
      This is just me. I absolutely love my own company, I love to think, I very rarely get bored. My idea of a great day: stay bed, lights off, food, movies, novel, phone, sleep. If bae wants to join in the fun, even better.
      I don’t like spending time out so much, let’s just get our food and go back home and eat, watch movies and sleep. -____-
      0
  5. Dare
    Never been a fan of watching a movie with anyone but trust me to share when done…so if i invite you over for Netflix and chill, you know right *winks*…talking abt introvert or extrovert i dnt even know because i started going out pretty late which i love to do with friends and never alone but the worrying part is i also love staying indoor “my room” from morning till night” and my mum wont even know im inside… guess i am safe saying i am in-between.
    1+
  6. Joseph Carter
    I like to think of myself as between introverted and extroverted but by default I’m intro.
    So most times I just make plans to stay indoor throughout. Then after enjoying it I feel life is just passing me by then I regret it.
    That has always been my struggle
    1+
    1. Femme
      Same boat with me! Esp that regret part but then j see myself doing it all over again!! Let’s be friends so u can holla for consolation when u feel life is passing u by…lol!
      1+
  7. Chinny
    Good to know i’m not a droid or at least I’m not alone…Part of what i consider stress at work is the human interaction =| . I dont hang out often though. When I do, well…blend in, maybe some day my alien parents will find me and take me home…awesome post…interesting strange person.. carry on..
    0
  8. dapo
    You know what having fellow introverts as friends is called? Greatness. You all can sit around, be as anti-social as you like, see something funny on twitter, share and go back to not saying a word to each other. No pressure. Bliss. I have four of them. Look at all that greatness in my life. Having read other comments, I am sure you all have dressed up for a party,stepped out the door and wondered why the hell you are leaving electricity, a cosy bed and peace. Of course, that’s before you remember the Party Jollof Rice (please always write and read this in caps. show your home training). I am bored at parties, clubs (not having money plays a minor role in this) and please, i am happy and prefer to go to the cinema alone.
    0

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