Man’s best friend is not a dog as popular belief has led us to believe. Man’s best friend from the beginning time has always been sex. And it had taken several forms over the millennia. Between the sex parties recorded in biblical times till the sex-perverse media in 2017, no other phenomenon has been consistent but still has gone through more revolutions than sex. But (un)fortunately, its journey and detours has not been met with as equal agreement as its purpose.
The first revolution was the commercialization of sex. It didn’t take long for man to figure this out. A couple of dim-wits can figure out that when man wants something so bad, he would be willing to pay exorbitantly for it. And so, the era of prostitutes was born. And it was a thriving one that needed minimum input for maximum output. A dimly lit corner and the right genitalia was all that was needed for production. But with every ‘progress’, comes an antagonist. And in the case of commercial copulations, it is the conservatives staunchly defending the moral principles of humanity.
Which begs the question; is the fight for morality a waste of time? Criminalising the commercial sex industry seems to be a losing battle and the tide seems to even be turning the other way after the Nigerian prostitutes’ union (yeah..there is a union) showed just how brave and confident and comfortable they are now by petitioning the Federal Government to formally recognise prostitution as a legal job. Meaning prostitution can now be filled as occupation on employment forms, income from prostitution would be taxable and efforts of prostitutes across the country can now be organised and coordinated. Some frown against this as I also do. But a rational part of me wonders if these ‘workers’ aren’t doing Nigerians a favour.
Without these workers, sexual assault cases might even be more than they are right now. They provide a steady source of outlet for (wo)men who are sexually tensed up and there are even reported cases of ‘dedicated activities’ of some prostitutes helping to boost up the sexual performances of (wo)men when they get back home. Some say they are a necessary evil in the society and there is a school of thought that agrees with them. In a hypocritical society where everyone thinks of sex but no one publicly discusses it, prostitution provides a safe haven for those unable to confront it by themselves.
The rhetoric of the hypocritical society is further given more bite by the next sexual revolution; if the (wo)man is condemned for seeking sexual release in the arms of a commercial lover, should (s)he also suffer the same condemnation for seeking help by the work of his/her own hands? Unlike commercial lovers, self lovers seem never brave enough nor confident enough to stand up and be counted in public. Masturbation is often frowned upon as an act of disgust and shame especially in Africa. You hear the statistics of people who practice it but after you ask people, you are left stunned when confronted by zero admission. This can only mean that those who practice it in private pretend and join in condemning it in public. That is how effective scorn can be – it can make the society lie to itself.
But this need not be. Our religious society is what makes masturbation an abomination but for those that do not live under the banner of religious confinement, we need not bother them with the guilt load too. Rather than spending hard earned income to get sexual gratification in the hands of a non-committed lover or making stupid decisions in the moment of heat, taking a step back to take matters into your own hands might be the best decision. If mutual masturbation is a recognized form of foreplay for couples, then maybe, self-masturbation should equally be recognized for singles out there that are interested.
The biggest revolution of the sex act has been the proliferation of homosexuality. Not sold sex, not self sex, but same-sex sex. And it has received the biggest backlash. Gays and lesbians are seen as being direct descendants of the devil himself. For me, learning not to follow the crowd and resigning to viewing these sect of people as mentally disturbed and evil is an active mental process you have to struggle with daily. But the Nigerian mob crowd wouldn’t be bothered with dignifying these people’s choices with respect. And the mob makes the law in Nigeria – imprisoning anybody that prefers the sex genitalia of same sex with 14 years in prison.
It is almost no brainer the fate that would befall any young man or woman caught in the homosexuality act. My anger boils up when society gets hypocritical and there is no area where this is more prominent than in the sex lives. Luckily for me, my sexual orientation and tendencies does not leave me at the bashful hands of the society but I rarely get angry for issues that concern me. They are always for my fellow humans. I credit divine grace for escaping the segregated group but for those who enjoy a different type of grace, they need not experience a different type of acceptance.
Of what use is sending a man/woman to jail for enjoying his choice of sexual company. Of what logic is it to send the man/woman jail, placing him/her in the same bracket as rapists, kidnappers and killers? They claim that they are penalising a sinful act but since when did the law court start being the religious court? If so, we should be rounding up anybody that violates any of the 10 commandments. And when that time comes, I would be among those with multiple count charge. Homosexuality is a crime against God and not against humanity as we have all agreed. So for now, let God be the enforcer of any punishment for the sin and not man. Let man punish his own crime and let God punish His.
I am a practicing Christian and in an ideal world, I wouldn’t want to see prostitution accepted as a legitimate source of income. I would prefer not to drive at night and see young girls who are not much older than my sisters lining the streets in skimpy outfits. I do not believe that masturbation is the ideal route to sexual fulfilment. Lovemaking is an act of two and it loses its purity and divinity when we start believing that it can be achieved solo. And I definitely do not agree with the concept of homosexuality. Neither do I understand it nor I believe I ever would. But I do not need to understand people’s choices before I respect it. If my brother prefers cucumbers to melons, then the least he deserves from me is to respect his choices and accept him even if I do not agree with his choice of fruits. It was Aristotle that said “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain an opposing thought without accepting it.” What do you say?