How Would You Like to Propose Or Be Proposed To?

There’s something about a man on one knee, ring in hand, and a woman in shock, beaming with smiles, blushing from the surprise of being proposed to that intrigues people. Perhaps because it is a defining moment in a person’s life, and because people love happy endings, everyone expects the girl to say yes (even though that may not end happily).

Marriage can be a wonderful thing and I get that on the journey people love to make beautiful memories, hence, ceremonies, and people love to keep and share these memories, hence the pictures and social media posts.

This, however, sometimes seems like an act to me. What would you call it when a couple that is not in a good place in their relationship posts pictures and doting messages on social media? I know a couple who were already planning their wedding before the guy did the proposal [ceremony], and I wondered, “What is the point? Shebi they’ve already agreed to get married.” But I’ve been told I’m not romantic.

I came across a proposal video on the internet where, to me, the girl seemed displeased. It looked like she was pressured into saying yes by the people shouting “say yes, say yes”, as if it was their yes to say. Maybe the guy just wanted to do something sweet and romantic. Maybe he wanted to trap her into saying yes. Maybe the girl wasn’t ready for marriage. Maybe the girl doesn’t love him—enough. A lot of thoughts crossed my mind while watching the video; it was kind of sad to watch.

Before a marriage proposal takes place, conversations must have been had, and both parties must know if they are ready to get married and what the partner would be comfortable with in terms of a proposal. This doesn’t have to take away the element of surprise. You should know the kind of space/place your partner is comfortable in. You should know what your partner’s life plan is: Do they want to get a job or finish a degree before getting married? Proposals don’t have to be public to be beautiful and if someone says no to a marriage proposal, it may not mean they do not love you.

I love beautiful sentences, perhaps this why I have always had a crush on writers. I have always imagined that if I was ever going to get proposed to, it would be a conversation and involve being told some really beautiful lines. There would be just two people present at this proposal ceremony: me and prospective husband. So, I’m putting this out there, lest someone triy to surprise me in a public space with family and friends encouraging me to say yes when all I really want to say is: “shut the fuck up and get out of my way!”

What’s your dream proposal like? How would you like to propose or be proposed to? Express you!

Photo Credit: PULSENG

  • Tami Okoro Dedeh

    I don’t really want any of those overly romantic clichés like getting down on one knee. I’d much prefer it if he looked me in the eye and asked me to marry him. Some men don’t actually propose – they just expect you to marry them after you’ve dated for a while, and they make the plans without your knowledge. Other guys simply shove a ring in your palm and say “Let’s get married”…really?

    July 13, 2017
  • vanilla

    Just the two of us lounging at home…….
    Him: I am crazy about you u and i know you crazy about me too so lets just do this marriage thing.
    Me: You are just too dry, why wont u kneel down and say beautiful nonsense to me before asking appropriately like others do?
    Him: Okay, no vex *does a caricature version by mimicking what i just said above*
    Me: i thought you’d never ask…..*exaggerated eye blinks and wiping fake tears gesture*
    Him: Seriously babe, lets do this…i want you forever and that is never gonna change…
    Me: Me too babe, lets do this shit!!
    Both: *we laugh hard but knowing we both mean it*
    Basically, just simple and funny. No pressure/family/friends/strangers/camera/nada!

    July 13, 2017
  • The last woman in my life and I had had marriage-eque conversation. I’m a public speaker (amongst other things), so is she. I’m spontaneous and crazy (but women say romantic ????) and I’d told her jokingly (but I was serious) that someday, after I’d given a speech/delivery somewhere, cameras rolling and all, I’d say something like “before I go, there’s one more thing I need to say.” Invite her to join me on stage, drop some deep, mushy lines, tell her how much she means to me and blah blah blah and then drop on my knee, whip out the ring and ask her to marry me ????
    Point is, like the author said, know your woman and you’d know the best and most beautiful way to pop the big question.
    Fun fact: someone once proposed to me ????????
    Posted from TNC Mobile

    July 14, 2017
      • Tami Okoro Dedeh

        In America and here in the UK, women propose to men every leap year – apparently it’s the only time women are allowed to pop the big question.

        July 25, 2017
  • I’d like it to be over a private dinner between both of us or something spontaneous but private

    July 14, 2017
  • Nneka

    I want him to just say Marry Me in the middle of a conversation. Preferably involving only the both of us. So I can guiltlessly say No. Well…if I’m still not ready

    July 14, 2017
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