Once A Cheater…

Opinion

Shanaya was finally getting married to the man of her dreams. She was so excited and wanted everybody to know she was getting married. She shared the good news with me as well and told me how her man accepted that she had a child and he treated her like his own. This was actually…

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Shanaya was finally getting married to the man of her dreams. She was so excited and wanted everybody to know she was getting married. She shared the good news with me as well and told me how her man accepted that she had a child and he treated her like his own. This was actually great news and rare to find. I asked Shany if the man was supportive and financially stable. She was happy with him, he was the provider and all was well.

I just wanted to make sure that she knew what she was doing and that she will not bother us telling us she wanted to get out of the union. I told her if she has cheated on him and it felt good, she should not marry him. She blushed and laughed it off, I knew then she had actually cheated a few times and enjoyed it. We argued about the cheating bit for a second where she opened up and told me she was marrying him because he won her heart over the maintenance of his daughter. He has been taking care of them and he proved he was the best for her.

This is the thing. Once you cheat on a serious relationship you are bringing trouble:

  1. You will not stop cheating. You did it, it felt good so you will definitely do it again. There are things that you will feel your partner is not doing right and go back to the person you once had it with. If your conscience still exists, you might take breaks in between to build your home but you will go back to your nest again.
  1. You will be comfortable. Your partner did not catch you the three times you cheated so you will get comfortable. It will become part of your lifestyle and you will not feel any need to stop. You think you are good at hiding things and pat yourself on the shoulder “I’m the man.”
  1. You will be insecure. You are bringing in insecurities, confirming in your head that your partner is also cheating. When your partner tells you he has a late night meeting you will think he is meeting someone else and he is making you a fool.
  1. Boredom. You will get bored with your partner. I am not sure whether I am the only one but I fail to understand how you can get served two different meals and not prefer one to the other. I mean seriously, one will obviously dish it out better. You will get bored with the same spices you use every day in your home.
  1. You will need JESUS. Here is the reason. You will have trust issues in all your relationships. You will remember all the things you used to do and will not trust or believe anything you will be told by your partner. You will have crazy thoughts whenever your partner goes out to workshops outside your city, going home or meeting friends. My friend, you need Jesus for you brought those things to yourself unknowingly. That is why they say you reap what you sow. You will be a pain to your future bae calling them every second when they are away.

It is better to stay pure in a relationship. If it is not what you want or you are bored with that person, live them in one piece. Most people say cheating strengthens homes, I say it breaks trust and demolishes homes like a wrecking ball through a hard wall. What do you think?

Image via Kiss The Chaos

Responses

  1. Larz
    I have noticed this trend with single mums. When they meet someone new, they tend to excuse any red light flags just because of one redeeming quality. “He accepts/ takes care of my children”. Whilst it is very admirable that someone dating a single mum takes care of their children, lets not get it twisted, even paeodophils do! That alone is not enough reason to secure a permanent future with them. Please make sure bae is well rounded and bringing much more to the table that support for your kids

    Posted from TNC Mobile

    1. Optimus Prime
      Single moms can be very lonely.

      The acceptance of their children by her new partner is also a bigger issue than you seem to realise. Some single moms have murdered their own kids because her partner didn’t want children.

      When she finds a man that shows little interest in her kids, it’s a big deal to her. The void of the father figure issue is filled and her loneliness ceases to exist. That to her is killing 2 birds with a stone.

      I agree with you that the red flags shouldn’t go unchecked but the eagerness to move on from her last embittered relationship often subdues checking for red flags over and over again.

      The conundrum is mammoth.

      Posted from TNC Mobile

      1. LincayaD Post author
        Yep Optimus, we ignore all the little things and focus on that one thing, taking care of my kid….go find a maid to take care of your kid and then look for love lol.
    2. LincayaD Post author
      you are right Larz. for them its more about loving my son/daughter for you to win my heart. Men with kids do that as well instead of finding maids they are looking for women to love everything they have. It is wrong but finding a partner who will also love your kid is a bonus.
  2. OluwaPRtoyosi
    This indeed is a standing ovation writeup. The truth I have been asking myself for a long time finally sufficed and am going to stick to it.

    Truth be told presently am dating with no plans to cheat but ofcourse thoughts cross my mind but no one has come out meticulously to analyze my awaiting consequence to my action……

    I must say that I totally agree to the fact that if you are tired while dating maybe you guys can take a 4 week break then come back.

    This is brilliant and am going to keep it in my reverred notedpad.

  3. OO
    After being in a marriage for 12 years, my husband has consistently cheated on me and hasn’t stopped, despite being a youth pastor , he knows what he’s doing is evil and killing me but won’t stop! He even slept with our maid at a time, I wanted divorce then but family prevailed on my decision, he still hasn’t stopped and I have come to realise that he won’t ever stop ! So I’m moving on! I have seen a lawyer Ns am not letting anyone into my plans…..

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