Once Bitten


See, my roomie and I had a ‘bag’ where we pooled our rubbers. It was strategically placed, for easy access so as not to stop the flow of the ‘action’, and it was always well stocked. Or it usually was. So I didn’t bother to check it when I was doing my mental rundown


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​The bus stopped by the road. Some passengers alighted, and rushed to relieve themselves, others to stretch their legs and refuel their grumbling bellies. I remained in my usual traveling spot: back seat of the bus, a good vantage position to scope out my fellow travelers, headphones on to discourage all unwanted conversations. This particular bus was full of ‘dry’ passengers, so I’d dozed off to the sound of Chingy rapping in my ears.

The driver horned impatiently. Everyone returned to the bus. And that was when I saw her. She must have come in while I was dozing. Her skin was a light caramel color, natural hair tied up in a bun. She was tall, with taut breasts (probably a C-cup), a small tight waist and an averaged sized ass. She looked around as she got back into the bus, her eyes lingering on me for an extra second or two, before sitting down.

I smiled. Now, at the time I hadn’t transcended to beard godhood yet, but my parents genetic combination had produced a wonderful specimen. My innocent face always made the ladies feel some type of way.

She kept stealing glances at me for the rest of the journey, trying not to be too obvious, yet smiling at me whenever our eyes met.


I was haggling with an ‘okada’ man when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

“Hi. I overheard you asking the bike man how much to Independence Layout. Why don’t we take a bus, it’ll be cheaper”

“I’m not really familiar with the bus routes”

“Don’t worry, it’s quite straightforward, plus it’ll be a fun ride”

I followed her, a sheepish look on my face, masking the howling of my inner wolf!

We ignored the cries of the okada men behind us

“Oga oya come na, I go reduce price”

“Ah guy man! You don leave us follow woman abi?”

That particular comment made her smile.

Names and numbers were exchanged—the usual. We kept in touch—thank God for those midnight calls back then—inconsequential stuff at first, then our discussions started getting risqué. She finally agreed to ‘tuo down’ (that’s come over for the uninitiated).


“I just got into town. I’m on my way to your lodge”

It was the day. Finally. All that talk was about to lead to action. I did a quick mental rundown..

Clean sheets, check.

Water in the bathroom, check.

Drinks, check.

RnB collection to set the mood, check.

Food for re-fuelling, simmering on the stove.

Roomie, sent on exile.

There was a sharp knock. I opened the door, and she walked in.

Damn, she even looks better than I remember.

“Make yourself at home” I took her bag from her, smiling to myself.

She plans to spend the night. That’s a good sign.

“Your room is quite cozy”

“Thanks. Do you want something to drink?”

Things went on smoothly. Small talk with a hint of sexual overtones. The gap between us slowly closed.

Now my left hand has a mind of its own, and soon it was on her thighs.

No resistance from her. Good.

My hand moved up.

Still no resistance.

Soon we were kissing, clothes sprawled on the floor, lights turned off, Peabo Bryson crooning from the speakers.

It was time to take the plunge.

I reached for my stash. In the darkness she couldn’t see the lust filled grin on my face slowly turn to a frown.

There was only one rubber left!


(See, my roomie and I had a ‘bag’ where we pooled our rubbers. It was strategically placed, for easy access so as not to stop the flow of the ‘action’, and it was always well stocked. Or it usually was. So I didn’t bother to check it when I was doing my mental rundown)

Damn. Anyway, the show must go on! One round is better than no rounds!

A couple of positions later and something felt different. Better. Wetter. Sweeter. Like I’d been eating with a burnt tongue and my taste buds were suddenly reawakened!

Chineke! This condom don break o! Shit! Mess up!!

Different thoughts flashed through my head in less than a second.

I can’t just stop at this point. Not when it feels soooo good. Plus, no other rubbers on deck. What’s the worst that can happen. Highest I’ll just pull out jare. How much do pampers even cost sef!

So I kept sliding.

(I’m ashamed to include this, but my pull out game was shit that day! Remember I said it was soooo good. :'()



“Hey dear. What’s up” my voice barely gave away the fact that I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.

For three weeks I’d barely been myself. As soon as I had pulled out (or didn’t in this case), it was like my brain reset.

What were you thinking? Chei! Pampers are actually very expensive o. My father is a knight o, how will I explain the fact that I got someone pregnant. Was that one round even worth it? (I no go lie, it was sha)

She had even taken it way better than I expected.

“Don’t worry” she said, kissing me squarely on my lips, “these things happen. I’ll take an emergency contraceptive tomorrow”

Yet I wasn’t satisfied. Google became my best friend and my worst enemy at the same time! Did you know that most morning after pills are around 80% effective, and that the percentage reduces the longer you stay before taking it? I didn’t either!

I even went to price SMA milk in the market. My God!!!

I couldn’t concentrate during lectures. To make matters worse, my roomie wasn’t any help at all. Constantly laughing at me, calling me ‘papa junior’. It got to the point that I even went on my knees in prayer, pledging a certain amount in church if my roomie’s ‘papa junior’ taunts didn’t come to pass!

It had really been a harrowing three weeks.

“Just wanted to tell you that my period has come. I’m sure that’s why I was feeling a bit ill earlier. Hope I didn’t scare you when I told you I had a fever”

“Oh. Nah. I wasn’t really worried. Those pills are always on point”

Thank You God!!! My heartbeat slowed down. We made a little small talk, joking about that epic night and promised to keep in touch.


“Hello. I’m on my way to your lodge”

I did a quick mental rundown.

Clean sheets? Check.

Water in the bathroom? Check.

Drinks, check.

RnB collection to set the mood? Check.

Food for re-fuelling, simmering on the stove.

Roomie, sent on exile.

Rubbers, plural, CHECK!!

Like the saying goes: “once bitten, twice shy.”


  1. Yomi
    I could stop laughing out. This brought details of a similar experience to mind. Girl was the one reassuring dude- ‘I got good game, all is under control’. I refused to believe until some weeks later. K**ji is wholly a bast**d

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