Last week, we asked: Why did you have sex the first time you did? 38% of the ladies chose lust/Curiosity and 55% of the guys also agreed confirming that lust/curiosity is the number 1 reason why most young Nigerians had sex the first time they did.

Incase you missed it, we released our first infographic on relationships and young Nigerians. Check it out here.

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Hey everyone, Tola here…… I know what you’re thinking “Did our resident nerd manage to crack time travel?”

Okay so you weren’t thinking that, but don’t lie. It would be cool to be able to go back in time and do some things or maybe undo some things. I started thinking about it because Debz (Yes, thats what I call her) and I were chatting about how common divorce is among young couples.

I know a lot of us think of ourselves as young so marriage might not even be on the radar yet. But then again, there are few of us that are married, so it stands to reason that one or more persons might have already had a divorce.

Anyway, As Debz and I were talking, she told me she knew as many as five young couples that had split over the years. I myself can count three that split last year alone. Based on our own anecdotal experiences, it seems like it’s not out of the ordinary for young couples to split up relatively quickly into the marriage.

I go through periods where I spend a lot of time googling marriage and divorce statistics. Don’t ask me how or why I started googling s*** like this because I can’t remember. But, it turns out that getting married at a young age is one of the strongest predictors of your likelihood for divorce. One of the reasons is that a lot of younger couples have had some of those paradigm shifting, character building life experiences necessary to help fortify the relationship through its many ebbs and flows.

Now, that doesn’t mean that if you married young, you’re automatically doomed to get divorced. It also doesn’t mean that you should abstain from making valuable commitments until some arbitrarily defined age. Fact is, there are no guarantees. Even if you successfully pulled off every criteria for divorce proofing your relationship (believe me, there are lots of them, but that’s a topic for a different day), it could very well still happen. Which brings me back to the whole time machine thing.

So I haven’t cracked the whole time travel thing, but I always wonder about the possibility of new beginnings, particularly when it comes to relationships. What happens to future of relationships that have fallen apart? If you could do some things over with one particular person, would you?

For example, let’s say you got married at a young age. Everything was going well for a while until something (or more likely a series of somethings) happened that made you decide that it’s time to dissolve the relationship. You go off, you live some life, years go by. Then you meet up again by happenstance and things are going well. Suddenly, you’re right back at the fork in those two roads diverged in a yellow wood. You already know how one of those roads turned out and it wasn’t fun the last time.

There’s obviously going to be a lot of collective baggage that the two of you have shared, not the mention the individual pieces that each of you has added over the years. Note: By individual pieces, I don’t just mean pot bellies and extra carrying space in the boot. Knowing all that you do about that person and the journey ahead, would you ever consider doing it all over again?

You know the deal. Answer the question. The poll is nice but taking the poll and also dropping a comment is even better.

Responses

  1. Larz
    On one hand, I wanna say nooooooooo. Matter of fact, I dont think the decision to divorce someone is one I will take lightly so I dont see myself going back if I get divorced.

    But, I wont judge those that go back to their exes especially if they divorced at a young age and had unrealistic expectations. Time sometimes helps us grow. If the other party is willing to heal and go thru counselling and fix what was wrong initially then yes

    0
  2. Olayinka
    It’s an absolute and an emphaticemphatic NO! The thing is that I’m a fighter when it comes to love. I leave myself to be vulnerable to love, meaning that before the divorce, the man would have definitely gotten a gazillion chances to work it out and if all that fails, there’s no chance we may even remain on talking terms at all. I don’t like to keep malice but since a few exes, I’ve had my ass whooped too severely to not avoid them. So its a no pls. Good riddance pls.
    5+
  3. MIA
    I have gotten back with an ex and trust me this time around is nothing like the first time. It’s like changing from caterpillar to butterfly. I have to pinch myself to believe everything I ever wanted from him I am getting now so never say never.
    1+
  4. JSBunny
    I don’t know. There’s a reason your personalities clashed and it didn’t work out in the first place. I will go thru that relationship thinking one day, same shit is going to happen again! Better to be just friends abeg.
    0

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