You know how the world is becoming a global village and social media is no longer a strange place to meet people. There all these trends of how people meet on social media, get married and live happily ever after.
Well…. What nobody tells you is that social media is also a good place to meet someone and have your heart broken into a million different tiny pieces. Yes. These are the stories that never make front page twitter.
We met on social media… Everyone’s always saying I need to get out of my comfort zone. It’s hard to meet guys the old-fashioned way. So, I did what? I replied that DM. For the most part, he was a perfect gentleman. We saw a movie together for our first date and the banter afterwards was legendary. He was the quiet type but we got pretty comfortable talking to each other about literally everything. We fast became good friends and he was the first person I wanted to tell about anything in my life that was remotely important. Without even realizing it, the balance of our friendship had tilted ever so slightly beyond the friendzone.
Then we kissed… Something happened that day. It wasn’t like the earth stopped moving and it was just the two of us. No, nothing that dramatic. But in that moment, I wanted more. I literally fled from his house that evening because I did not want to come to terms with my reality. What if he was ok with us just being friends and me I was there catching feelings?
We didn’t speak throughout the next day and I thought oh gawd, this is the part where it gets awkward, we become weird and just stop talking to each other… But he called in the evening. He had a really busy day at work but he couldn’t stop thinking about us all day… and how we should have a repeat of yesterday because it was perfect.
He had to travel for a while so we didn’t have the space to explore our new-found intimacy but we grew closer. We were chatting late into the night then he got tired and said he was going to bed. I still had at least an hour of work to do so he let me have my space. An odd twenty minutes after he said he was going to bed, he sends me another message.
“I have a confession to make”.
I slowly close my laptop because with all the alarm bells that immediately started ringing in my head, I needed to be alert for this.
“The truth is the more I get to know you the better I like you. You are simply put quite amazing.”
OK, he is just being cute. Everything is fine… Then he pulled the rug…
“The truth is I have been in a relationship with someone before we met.”
“I’m not sure for some reason I didn’t want to tell you which is unlike me”
“I kind of wanted to see where things led with you… still do, but feel you deserve to know”
“I didn’t want to choose”
The end… At least for me. I decided to help him make that choice .So I told him to focus on his relationship because having me in the picture would not be healthy for him or for me.
So, no…This 13th time is not the charm… Yes, I keep track…you can read about my 12 previous adventures here and this pond is only filled with frogs.
I’ve been thinking about it. What kind of person must I actually be to attract only the type of men who are able to continue this cycle of pain and hurt. Maybe I’m really a terrible person and the universe is using all these experiences to show me that I really ain’t s**t.
Ok universe. I get it. I’m not the worst person in the world but I’ve heard you and I give up. I’m no longer trying.
I know that true love exists. I’m a product of that love. I have grown up knowing what it feels like and I have thankfully been surrounded by it. But I give up on finding that love. I give up on hurting myself… over and over again.
So, No! My prince is not coming on a white horse, he is not riding a turtle and he is definitely not walking. My prince is just NOT coming…