Rounds Week 50: On Terrorist Attacks, #SupportSARS???, Hijabs and more..

Rounds

It was during the protest that I found that we have several groups in this country o. Which one is Concerned Men and Women Association of Nigeria?? There’s like a president of that shit too?

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So uh…

I know right? Where are they???

Doesn’t look like they’re showing up anytime soon, does it?

Nah. They said they were going to buy bread and then they just…left.

LOL! Wow.

Well then…I guess we’re on our own today.

Might as well start. Right?

Right.

***

The Headlines

 

Terrorists won’t win

As bomb attack flops in Manhattan

 

ICYMI

Hmmmm!! We have gist for you…

 

#SupportSARS?

Money calls, the poor answers

 

NFF sanctioned

L Oh L

 

***

Terrorists won’t win

Stories like this are tiring really. Aren’t we humans tired of doing evil?

As in! What I don’t understand is what exactly these terrorists want.

I really don’t know but the good thing is this time, the God of Elijah came and thwarted all the plans of the enemies.

Oh yes! Earlier this week there was a blast at the Port Authority terminal in Manhattan, New York as a man set off a bomb early on Monday morning which luckily didn’t detonate fully.

Look how God publicly shamed the devil.

Allaluya somebody!

Praise master Jesus! The suspect, Akayed Ullah, was said to have been injured in the process while about 5 other people just sustained minor wounds.

Must have been well planned as it is the biggest and busiest bus terminal in the world, serving more than 65 million people a year…

But for now he hasn’t been traced to any organization and is suspected to have acted alone even though he pledged allegiance to ISIS afterwards.

Just had to add ‘stupid’ to his portfolio.

Lol. The world is becoming increasingly competitive. Mans gats boost his CV. Sadly this gives Trump a reason to further his racist travel ban agenda since the terrorist was an immigrant from Bangladesh.

Obviously! This will just bring up reasons to enforce immigration reform.

You don know! White House spokeswoman Sarah Sanders has already wasted no time in claiming that if Trump’s proposed immigration ban had already been in place, “the attacker would have never been allowed to come into the country”.

“This attack underscores the need for Congress to work with the president on immigration reforms that enhance our national security and public safety,”

You see what she did there…generalizing and shit.

Won’t be surprised if Trump’s administration actually paid him to do that. That guy is just Rochas with American citizenship.

Maybe it’s time to come home guys.

To come and do what? Die while trying not to die?

You’ll rather die by bombing?

What’s the difference between dying by bombing and by SARS bullet?

Lol. Touche. Speaking of SARS…

 

***

#SupportSARS?

We remain confused in the country.

If this were confusion it’d have even been good, this is blatant greed and foolishness.

Poverty remains a disease fam.

And it’s what these rotten leaders keep using to twist the arms of the masses.

Guys, remember last week when we decided Terdoo would represent Rounds at the anti-SARS rally coming up?

Even though he’s probably just finding that out now…

So…..some days ago, people who have directly or indirectly been affected by this SARS menace decided enough was enough and came out en masse for an anti-SARS rally…only to get a shocker.

More like a SARS bullet to the chest, when they found out that there were counter protests in various parts of the country notably Abuja, Anambra, Ogun and Lagos, demanding for SARS…….to stay.

And do what?

I’m sure even Rihanna doesn’t have an answer to that.

As if we are not confused enough in this country, these obviously paid groups said they wanted a SARS reform and not scrapping.

With placards bearing inscriptions such as “allow SARS be”, “reorganization and reform of SARS is the only solution”, “Nigerians, let us support the reform of SARS” and so on. Like wtf?

Wait, so they admit that SARS isn’t right but nah, they should carry on, just reform them and everything will be solved, right?? Sigh, I see why you wanna leave this country fam.

You’re just seeing? You need to soak your eyes in rice.

Hahaha.

Look how our countrymen are jeopardizing our noble struggle for scraps.

It was during the protest that I found that we have several groups in this country o. Which one is Concerned Men and Women Association of Nigeria?? There’s like a president of that shit too? And the Concerned Anambra Citizens and Non-Indigenes group, y’all need a Commissioner of Fulfillment too?? With all this concern you are concerning.

Lmaoooo. Wetin concern me? I’m no longer a Nigerian as far as I’m concerned.

Hahaha. Calm down sir, visa you have not gotten yet.

You’ve not gotten sense yet but you act like it, what’s your point?

My point is there is still a 99% chance you will never leave us here in Nigeria.

You’re mad. If you’re the old woman they’re sending to stand on my destiny holy ghost fire will burn all your gums.

Hahaha… Back at you boo. But back to the issue at hand, they should scrap it. SARS has lost its essence in the fight against crime, they have become criminals already.

I’m with you sis. We all know the Nigerian government’s idea of a reform is to recycle bad eggs from one post to the other and change uniform.

All this just goes to show how as un-united as a fracture we lot are, therefore our leaders will definitely see no reasons to make changes.

But just like we do with every problem with Nigeria, we’ll cry for a while and move on…just like now.

 

***

In Case You Missed It…

Meanwhile…

Goals.

Make that paper bruh.

I wonder, what would I do if I got this kind of alarm on my phone…

Alarm?

Get with the program fam. You already know this one has passed alert.

LOL! The minute I get that text I’m quitting my job.

Why?

After someone just put like 20 years of career service in your account, baba. Go and live life.

True. But I don’t know, I think I’ll still do a 9-5. Just…remotely. LOL!

Didn’t they declare him mentally unstable so they could redirect the funds?

Yeah they did.

Look at God!!

Speaking of….!!

It’s happening.

Mark your calender, call your party jollof vendors, and tie your potential gele…

All roads lead to Windsor Castle in May 2018.

Man, the negro has successfully entered all facets of life, lowest key.

We were in the White House couple years ago, and now…

We ‘bout to turn up Buckingham palace with them lightskin kids.

Congratulations Henry, Congratulations Meghan.

TURN UP!

Speaking of congratulations…

Happy Birthday PMB!!!

Drop some bomb selfies on they ass real quick bruh…

Aye, remember this?

Swag..

Mo’ swag

lol tbt

We should stop before they call someone for us..

Anyway, in a statement on Saturday, Lucky Jo was out here reading the children when he described Buhari as a statesman whose place in Nigeria’s history is guaranteed.

“Your Excellency, you are a statesman whose place in history as Nigeria’s leader, at different epochs in our nation’s development journey, is guaranteed.”

Omg who is cutting palm trees please? Where is all this shade coming from?

Developmental history, as per…

Still got a long way to go.

Still on the matter of long ways to go…a very ‘ot debate was sparked this very week.

Everyone was like “To hijab or not to hijab”.

We still haven’t reached a conclusion, but this might have been my favorite perspective on the whole thing.

Oh word? This was mine…

Smh. You need to be sanctioned.

Ah, speaking of..

 

***

NFF Sanctioned

You guys know how just a few weeks ago we were celebrating our qualification for next year’s World Cup and chanting ‘Gernot Rohr for president’?

Well in a typical plot twist that you would expect from this country, it so happened that FIFA has sanctioned Nigeria for apparently fielding in ineligible player, Abdullahi Shehu, against Algeria.

Sigh. We were fined $6000 and the 1-1 result was overturned to 3-0 in favour of Algeria. Our incompetence in this country has permeated every sector like the smell of a dead rat.

We both know NFF knew they were putting an already suspended player in the match against Algeria. We had already qualified o. But if we don’t display corruption, it’s not Nigeria.

Corruption is like the nipple to our boobs, without it we’re just pointless.

Apparently Shehu got a yellow card in the match against Zambia which made it his second in the qualifiers and automatically made him ineligible to play against Algeria.

I’m sure he also knew that but refused to point it out because playing the match was more important to him than the reputation of the country.

Wasn’t he even the one they were praising in that match for his performance?

Lool. I don’t even know, couldn’t watch the match but I won’t be surprised. Na our way.

We deserve an apology from NFF for this level of disgrace and unprofessionalism.

Lol. Apology? Apology in Nigeria is like unpaid salaries, you don’t demand it, it’s when you see it you see it. They had this to say though.

The importance of football as a game is fairness in sportsmanship. I’m disappointed walahi. What if we lost our qualification??

Seeeeee!!! We would have changed the #EndSARS protests to #EndNFF ASAP. Imagine trolling Ghana all this while only to get disqualified after the draws have been done. Ha!

Don’t even remind me, we are in a group with Iceland, Croatia and Argentina…yet again. Is it correct to say we’re fucked?

Yup!

On the plus side though, this sanction only means that Nigeria still finish top of Group B but with 13 points instead of 14 while Algeria’s total at the bottom is now 5 instead of 2 points.

So in the end the 3 points are pointless.

Still a big L to concede though, all because our football federation has no…

***

Morals

This can never get old, can it?

Nope. Pharell can’t even touch this. So what did we learn this week?

We learnt that terrorism is still a thing, so maybe you guys should come back home jeje.

Or… Or… Remain there and trust the better security systems there because all die na die.

And if you want to be a terrorist, fine! Be you. But don’t make it hard for other people honestly just trying to make it through this maze called life.

Wait, what? Who tells a terrorist be you? Don’t be you o, be sensible please.

Lmao. You realize you can’t change their minds, right? That’s why I said that.

Abeg. Anyway, we also learnt that Nigerians will sell their birthrights for plates of the government’s pottage.

And don’t trust social media because people tweet one thing and placard another thing.

And then pocket another thing too.

And finally we learnt that this country is finished…

…Like a Marvel movie after the final post credits scene.

We cheat even when there’s no need to.

But Jehovah L-shall-die already went ahead of us and destroyed all Ls on our behalf.

So the L is still in your courts Chale. That’s it from us this week!

Join us next week, same time, same site, same loonies.

Bye!

Responses

  1. Morris
    Waawu, Beautiful. Incase you are wondering, I’m just cataching up on my three weeks backlog.

    Newbies all alone, and you nailed it.

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