Saints And Sinners – Who Gives These Labels?


Score: Anything Could Happen (Piano Cover) || Gavin Mikhail After reading the much talked about ‘There are Single Women who Don’t Have A Little Sex On The Side’ article, I had an interesting conversation with a few members of this community on social media. At that time, I hadn’t gone through the comments on the article…


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Score: Anything Could Happen (Piano Cover) || Gavin Mikhail

After reading the much talked about ‘There are Single Women who Don’t Have A Little Sex On The Side’ article, I had an interesting conversation with a few members of this community on social media. At that time, I hadn’t gone through the comments on the article but when I did, coupled with the conversation earlier, I had somethings on my mind…

I remember a conversation I had with a friend a while back. She’s the head of the youth and was feeling apprehensive about the coming Sunday because that Friday, a couple of her church members had seen her clubbing. I remember not knowing what advice/answer to give her so I asked HS for help. I asked her “why are you worried about what they think? Do you live for them or for Him?”. I reminded her of the story of the adulterous woman who the zealots wanted to stone to death (because that was the penalty for her crime) so they brought her to Christ and he told them that he had no problem with that but the person without any sin should hurl the first stone.

When the crowd dispersed, Christ didn’t judge her or stone her himself, rather he accepted her warmly and told her to sin no more. A lot of prejudices some Christians have worry me. Is it Christ-like to have prejudices? To judge? What right do you have to hold yourself on a higher pedestal and look down on people who don’t share the same beliefs as you or who say they do but don’t live accordingly? When it comes down to it, the world might be black and white but in the journey to white (perfection), there are billion shades of grey. It’s in these shades that we all live in and I think Christians need to realize this before turning up their nose in judgement; my Christianity is not between you and I but between me and my God.

I can’t stand beer but I love the warm feeling good wine gives me and the burning sensation I get from doing shots; hell, most weekends I lace most of my drinks with vodka  and I’ve recently fallen in like with palm wine.

I’ve never done hard drugs or syrups but I have no problem with greens. I’m not addicted but I do like the high weed gives.

Sometimes when I go to a mall, I “test their security” by sneaking out a chocolate bar or two and later, I feel guilty because I just gave an excuse for stealing and Christians shouldn’t do that so I go back, buy something else and make sure the change covers for what I’d earlier taken and leave the counter before the cashier gives my change.

By His grace, I don’t fib but sometimes I still find out that I might as well still do because I don’t always give my honest opinion because I think “it’s too harsh” or “it’d hurt” so I don’t tell the whole truth. It’s not a lie but it’s not being honest either.

I’m blessed by Lecrae, Trip Lee, Detrick Haddon, Hillsong, Bethel and other gospel artists but I still love singing Rihanna’s “California King Bed” or Lil Wayne’s & Eminiem’s “No Love” at the top of my voice when I’m in the shower and  I listen to Trey Songz, Kodaline, Michael Buble and others at least 5 days a week. I even go looking for new ‘secular’ artistes everyday (thank you, Spotify and iTunes).

I am not a virgin. I haven’t been since I was 18. I love the whole art of sex, from lovemaking to a good ol’ rump in the sack without any finesse, I love it. Forget nutting, I love being done with a woman and knowing for sure that she’s never going to forget me or the heights I took her to. .

According to some, what all these make me is an alcoholic, an igbo smoker, a thief, a fornicator (who’s even more devilish because of the slight twinge of BDSM) who listens to secular music and maybe they are right, maybe I am all these things. But as far as I’m concerned, I’m also a Christian.

And He still loves me.

When I wake every morning, I know He does and no matter how early/late I am, I literally say “Hey, good morning Lord. Thank you for today”. He knows I’m not perfect and all He asks is that I keep on trying and each day, He gives me the grace to be better, to do better, to live a life that would draw people to Him and so I do my best not to let Him down by being the best version of me; I call my friends and we talk about stuff, we pray with and for each other, I make sure I make someone I don’t know smile by smiling genuinely at them and telling them they are beautiful or to have an amazing day and to the people I see everyday at work, I try too. They can drive a brother crazy atimes but I try because a smile might be the first aid someone might just need to give them the strength they need.

On Sunday, I would go to church and worship Him because His love defies all human explanation. I worship from my heart and smile because I remember that just the day before, I promised Him that if he didn’t let the splitting hangover I had kill me, I’d never take alcohol again. I smile as I worship because I know He smiled as I made that promise, knowing that I’d make the same promise again next week but He Healed me all the same because all He requires of me is for me to try and next week, He’d heal me from the hangover again if He has to because He knows that it’s a step by step journey and some steps are more difficult for others and stumbling isn’t a problem as long as I get back up and keep at it. So He loves me still and encourages, not condemns, me.

I’m not using this article to defend anything or justify my choices. I just want to remind us that there’s a reason why Jesus was received more than the Pharisees and Sadducees ever were. He didn’t condemn people but He told them without any prejudice but lovingly, how they were expected to live and showed them too and celebrated with those who listened and prayed for those who didn’t. So rather than look down on those you think are “rotting with the world” and judge them for doing the things they do, why not drop the constant barbs at them take a leaf from Christ’s book?

In my opinion, your life, not your words of condemnation, is your testimony to others.


  1. Ramatu
    Hi Cavey.

    Nice piece and it was easy to read.

    While I believe GOD loves us all, HE also expects us to work on ourselves.

    The aim should be cutting down on these excesses as you continue to build on yourself and grow in HIM. We are told to abstain from these vices because they have the ability to cloud our minds and judgement where GOD should clear our mind.

    There are ‘secular’ songs that do more for me than certain ‘gospel’ songs but then again, knowing what to let into your mind is key. It is common knowledge that music is about the only thing that can permeate our spirits without our permission.

    As for going to church to worship, I think this is one of the misconceptions we all have. Our church attendance is not worship; our entire life should be. Church attendance is just fellowship with like minded people. So if our lives do not worship GOD, all we do in church is attend a social event.

    I will like to advice that you seek the wisdom of GOD in all the things you do and see if HE approves. If HE doesn’t, then that should be your criteria for your life rather than labels that mean nothing.

    Again, a beautifully written piece.

    1. Cavey
      Dearest ,
      Yes, the aim is to cut grow in Him and let these excesses die. In naming/listing them, I was simply trying to hone in on the fact that just because I have these ‘excesses’ doesn’t mean He loves me any less. I also agree with you that our lives, not just on Sundays, should be of worship and I try my best to live. Again I was only trying to make a point in the article ????
      “If HE doesn’t, then that should be your criteria for your life rather than labels that mean nothing.”
      God bless you for this!
      Thank you for taking time out to read and comment ????
  2. ashabi
    Michel buble… *sigh* this is tiiiiight…. Can’t wait for pipz to come over here again and start the crusaders war again… *grabs glasses,patiently waits*
  3. Butterflymind
    So you’re fornicating and happy eh ????????
    I swear you sound like those people who try to make a case for homosexual Christians.

    True, God loves you, but try not to confuse mercy for acceptance, inugo? God loves you but He also expects you to make a daily attempt at doing his will. You can’t come and be talking about that love in the same paragraph you talk about how you love giving your women a good time (yes, I’m particular about this one because the bible says it’s a sin against your body.)

    I’ll leave you to God now.

    With love,
    From me and God ????

    1. Cavey
      who’s fornicating about? Did I say that?
      No, I’m not confusing mercy for acceptance, neither am I saying that I do not know that it hurts Him when I do these things. I know. And by His grace, I hurt Him less each day. What I’m trying to say is, unfortunately, some Christians see these shortcomings on others as a plague and rather than resonating His love to the ‘plagued’, they condemn and exile them and I don’t think that should be the case.
      1. Butterflymind
        Dearest Cavey, I’m trying to reconcile the first half of your comment with the second and failing woefully.
        It’s one thing to come and say that a person ‘enjoys’ doing something and another to say they are ‘struggling’ with a particular action.
        The one who enjoys it simply does so to satisfy his whims.
        The one who struggles at least ‘tries’ to subject his desires to God’s will (he may fail sometimes and have victories other times). That’s the difference between the people who proclaim themselves Christians and lean on His abundant love and grace, and those who call themselves ‘christians’ believing that grace is a well of that never runs dry and will always be available whenever they’re tired of having fun.

        We should strive to be the former, not the latter.

        The one who seeks love will find love. True believers understand the struggle and will help anyone/everyone who needs guidance to get through.
        People who just want to carry a name without the cross… well now, we’ll just leave them to God again.

        1. Dubem
          let’s assume that a certain somebody has diabetes, in as much as sugar is an abomination in the life of that someone, it doesn’t stop sugar from having a sweet taste. Now if that someone were completely honest, that someone will say, ‘it was sweet’… You get my drift?


          1. Butterflymind
            Sugar is sweet. Sex is sweet (I think). Coke is sweet, even though it makes me put on weight. Every time I walk to the vendor, I have an internal struggle whether or not to switch that bottle for water instead. Sometimes I win; sometimes I lose. But even when I lose I soberly reflect on what it is I’ve done.

            The point of my post isn’t to condemn anyone– I know what struggle is like. The whole idea is to point that the motivation/intent/condition of one’s heart is God’s criteria for judging actions.
            God do I feel after the deed’s been done?

            I do not judge, but if I fail to point out the glaring disparities between the things I read and how it should be, what love then have I?
            I know the many different ways people can take an article like this, so the OP has to be very clear on his intents in the body and not the comment section.
            Like I said earlier, the post reads like another “save the homosexuals” article and we cannot be claiming to be Christians, sinning and justifying it with “Jehovah still loves me.”

            Have we no shame? Some things should not even be ‘mentioned’ amongst us!!! When I steal do I go tell my friends “I steal pops money but he still loves me”? He might still love me, but I have sent the wrong message to the ones listening that stealing may be okay. That’s the point I’m trying to make here.

            This is not for us– every Christian must mind the manner with which they share their stories and life so they do not lead people astray. If we can’t even manage that successfully, how the heck are we winning souls then?

            I hope you do not feel like I’m trying to paint you black, darling. I’m simply responding to what I’ve read and how it’s been interpreted in my mind. There is no one holier than God, but we all ‘strive’ for holiness. So if there is a struggle with sin, you achieve more (whatever be your aim) by telling the people that, while resting in his love, rather than omitting it but using that love as a covering.

            Love and Light.

  4. Sapphire
    This reads like a sermon note for the “Convenience Gospel” but, NO Christ didn’t call us to the gospel of convenience.

    The same Bible that tells us of Christ unconditional love is the same Bible that says “take up your cross and follow me”, “Be holy even as I am holy”, “..endure hardship as a good soldier of Christ”.

  5. Od
    True and False Disciples
    “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’

    Matthew 7:21-23 NIV

  6. Joe
    Me I dont understand why you dont like beer. If I’m in the mood for a long time enjoyment, lager is just way. But when I need fast result rum and spirit is the answer.
    This post was somehow, like some parts were ok and some parts weren’t, JESUS didn’t condemn that adulterous woman, but HE also told her to go and sin no more, not to continue regardless even though HE will still love her.

    Romans 6:1 – What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound?

    1. Cavey
      The point of this article isn’t the sin or no sin but the manner in which Christ asked the woman to go about her life henceforth. I don’t know if you read the article that inspired this one but incase you didn’t, my goal in this article is to bring to the limelight, that sinners can be put on the right path in a less prejudiced way. ????
      1. Butterflymind
        If your aim is how we should still love sinners irrespective of their sins, sure that’s doable. I haven’t seen many who snicker like the Pharisees in this part of the world anyway. Like , let us also try in our ‘love’ to point out the errors of their ways (that’s the true love btw).
  8. Dubem
    between me and God (cos truth be told, I spent a very large chunk of my life giving a hoot what everyone thought and I’m very much retired), I enjoy a good beer, I try not to get drunk (I’d like someone to sincerely tell me how alcohol in moderation and smoking stops you from making heaven. I’ve thought about it all my life. I’ve never fancied smoking, not even a drag 🙂 but still) …you see these people you shudder at what they will say if they discover your so called sins, are so deep in the mud behind closed doors, you’d wonder who said they could even talk to you.

    and the cross lies in that painful step you take each day denying your flesh of pleasure it craves. (from my understanding) lists a few wrong things he does, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t struggle each day not to do them.

    The race for eternal life is so personal we really should leave the judging to God. Remember that the second covenant already has the laws written in each man’s heart. Such that by default he can distinguish between good and bad.

    1. Cavey
      you get the article! Thank you!!!! Because I named some things I do, people already assume I enjoy them and don’t want to stop. I don’t need to tell them if I struggle with them or not, that’s between me and my Lover but He knows my heart and that’s all that matters to me cc
      Your last paragraph is a summary of all I’m trying to say in the article and I’m trying to remind us all that we are in no place to judge another, especially from a place of seeming ‘superiority’
  9. Victoria
    Er no and no Cavey. I think we all need to stop saying people are judging or condemning you when they tell you something is wrong. I think we need to define condemnation sef. We need to stop assuming that because they say something is wrong then they are trying to say that they’re the perfect ones. Whether they say it or not doesn’t stop it from being wrong please. Even if they too are doing whatever they are saying is wrong doesn’t make your own wrong right. And while ‘sin’ can be fun and hard to stop, it doesn’t mean it cannot be stopped and that’s the point of telling someone they are in the wrong so they can change their ways.
    Jesus didn’t give the woman a pat on the back for committing adultery. He didn’t say oh I love you, I know you tried, it’s alright. It was just too hard for you. No, he gave her an instruction. He called what she did sin not just an error in judgment and then he said go and sin no more. The difference between Christianity and morality is that we’re not just told to go and do good, we’re also given the power to do it. Please let’s stop denying this power.
  10. Dubem
    I don’t know how else to explain this cos I think we have all indeed abandoned what this topic is about and are harping in on the sins of .

    Let’s put it this way y’all are right.
    But then the only two people whose business it is,
    Are himself and God.
    Fearing what another human will say or do,
    instead of making you do good, makes you hide when doing bad.
    But if owe your goodness to the all seeing eyes,
    Especially when every thing you need comes from him,
    It’s only natural that you constantly try to do good and be good even if it’s hard.
    That’s the battle of carrying the cross, the falling and the rising.

    This article in my understanding is about HYPOCRISY.

    1. Butterflymind
      “…your life, not your words of condemnation, is your testimony to others.”

      Dear Dubem, this is the closing line of the article. Your life is the testimony, not your words of condemnation.

      Question: What message does my life send?
      If I say nothing about sin, but do not leave ‘right’, am I justified?

      That’s the summary of what everyone here is saying.

  11. DJ
    I read two moves or POVs (new word apparently).
    1. The sincerity of the writer in expressing everything he felt.
    2. The absurdity of his limited view of what being a Christian is.

    With that being said, sin cannot have continuity in the life of a Christian. If it does, open your heart and check it in prayer. And if you are at a loss on what to do, ask for God’s wisdom which He always would give to you. Going in ‘promise circles’ might only serve to keep you there…where you are. NO. PROGRESS.

    P.S: I have same challenges as you (generally). In fact we all do.

  12. Nneka
    I’m amazed at the ‘holiness’ of people here… guess it was the same thing the writer was trying to explain..he isn’t celebrating his ‘evils’, but simply being honest on the struggles of being ‘human’ and why we need to stop being so judgemental … but I guess we don’t ‘do honesty’ well …so let’s pick up our stones and stone him to death…

    Cavey, thank you for this article. I don’t do greens or drink or know what the inside of a club looks like or even slept with anyone before, but you know what? I lie sometimes, i judge people, i feel superior and good, i feel ‘purposeful’, i gossip, i do a lot of nonsense under the cloak of Christianity and your article called me out on that…

    I’m often a damned Pharisee and the Holy Spirit calls me out on it daily…

    What if we loved one another instead of always feeling the need to ‘correct’ and judge. Be merciful as your Father in heaven is merciful.

    This article calls me out on pulling out the log in my eye before I stone someone else for their little speck.

    1. Uju
      no one was stoning him for his wrongs. There is a major difference between correcting people in love and stoning them. We all make mistakes, we’ve all sinned but the point they were trying to make is that we shouldn’t glorify our sins and then attempt to absolve it by saying Jesus still loves us. Yes He loves us. But we as Christians need to follow the God who loves us closely so that we remember not to continue to sin.

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