It’s About Sex: Can We Stop Pretending It’s Anything More?

Editor’s note: Apologies for the break in transmission. Body Count 101 will be back on your screens next week. However, in the same vein, here’s another take on no longer beating around the bush (pun? yes? no?) and embracing the erotic. S would be proud.  ___ Why is it wrong for a man to want only…

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Editor’s note: Apologies for the break in transmission. Body Count 101 will be back on your screens next week. However, in the same vein, here’s another take on no longer beating around the bush (pun? yes? no?) and embracing the erotic. S would be proud. 

___

Why is it wrong for a man to want only sex, or be sexually attracted to a woman only and tell her? You hear reactions like ‘what do u take me for?  ‘So all you want from me is just sex? Or ‘I’m not that type of girl’. In a bid to live according to the rules set for us by society and fulfill all righteousness, we deny ourselves things that we really want just to live by books not written by us. Sad!

In my opinion, over 50% of relationships in Nigeria especially those among youths within the ages of 19-35 are fueled and driven by sex. Yet wanting just sex or talking about it is a taboo… How hypocritical! Most relationships won’t even exist or survive without sex, that’s the ONLY thing those relationships are built on. Just like that popular hymn that says ‘…On the solid rock I stand’, sex is the solid rock these relationships stand!

Ladies, let’s try something practical. Have a discussion with your men and tell them you don’t want sex anymore. Tell them you want to work on strengthening the relationship without sex and let’s find out how many of you would still have a relationship at the end of that discussion.

It’s simple. Sex is the reason why most people are in a relationship. Most men hide under the pretence of ‘I want to date you’ because they know that’s the only way they can get free, drama-less sex without the 99 questions of ‘so what are we now’. They keep stringing their partners along, using relationship as a decoy and getting laid every other day. The women stay lying to themselves that they are in a ‘relationship’ whereas they in a ‘sexationship’. Ladies, if a man says he is attracted to you sexually and wants just sex, don’t get offended and start bombarding him with lectures. Respect his honesty. We need to create an atmosphere that encourages men to tell us the truth and stop putting unnecessary and unhealthy ‘relationship pressure’ on men.

Ladies, all that ‘what-would-my-friends-say-when-they-find-out-we-are-not-dating-but-we-are-having-sex’ crap has to end. Would you rather be with a man that is lying to you all in a bid to have sex or a man that is open about what he wants? Being in a relationship with a man is not a life time achievement. There are other relationships that need to be pursued. Maybe if the society placed emphasis on other things as much it does on women being in a relationship or marriage, women would strive to get serious with other things and not just MEN.

How about you get serious with your career, your education, your skin or your hair? All these other things need attention too, right?

Responses

  1. Jude
    I strongly do believe in your article, and that’s because you’re always spot on with your views. Believe me am just here for the comments
  2. Larz
    I don’t understand why a religious hymn is used for unmarried sex analogy. It is like poking a sleeping lion. If ppl start to vex here, ppl will scream religious fanatics….

    Now back to the post.

    I think back in the days, guys used to go out of their way to pretend to love a woman that they are just npashing, nowadays, most guys don’t. How do you know you are in sexationship:
    1). I don’t want to put a label on it
    2). You haven got been integrated into his social/ familial (is that even a word) circles
    3). You have made no future discussion
    4). You need an appointment to see him. No spontaneous meeting

    I have hardly met a woman who has been in a situationship for mor than 6 months that is genuinely unaware or surprised that she is.

    If she is hanging on for social reasons or for the sex then I say she is also getting something out of it so it…

    I think sometimes, if you don’t have a sob story as reason for a breakup, you (the woman) can be persecuted. When my ex and I broke up, my mum was so sure I did something to piss him off. I didn’t cook enough, clean enough, respect him enough etc. I had friends and relatives ask me repeatedly about why he broke up with me. I seriously considered lying that he cheated on me with multiple women before realising the absurdity of it. When my parents found out about my hubby (I wouldn’t let them meet anyone else until I was serious), my mum still pulled me aside to let me know. In light of my experience, I can imagine the pressure a woman that walked into a sexuationship has to make herself look like a victim so she can have some well deserved peace.

  3. OluGt
    People, stop being brainwashed. Women also want sex. The women who place sex below other things are basically cunning, have health issues, psychological issues, etc.

    Stop pitying women. They want sex too. They are simply very united with fellow women to earn extra income or living on making men pay, directly or indirectly, for sex. Some women who are not sexually attracted to particular guys go ahead with the relating for selfish reasons.

    A guy should leave any woman who does not have reasonable reasons to not have sex with him.

    This is 2017. Women should stop being cunning already. Anyway, there are still immature guys out there who would pay for sex and call themselves real men. This amuses me.

  4. Tripple
    I also feel society should not shame women that want just sex too from an attractive guy, not that I subscribe to it but society shames women too that want to explore and don’t attach emotions to coitus.

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