So Far, I’m Enjoying Dating A Trans-Man

Opinion

I slipped into something more comfortable, slipped a condom and mints into my jacket pocket and headed out to talk to this young man. We sat on the porch and talked for hours! At almost five in the morning, we moved to the hotel lobby and intensified the flirting some more. He kissed my neck, told me how beautiful I was, I moved in closer and then he told me he was Trans.

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Holding hands as we walked through the New Orleans French Market, he asked me, “S, how did you become so accepting of people who identify as LGBTQ+…”.

Truth is, I wasn’t always like this. I grew up in a ‘religious’ household where anyone who wasn’t heterosexual was a heathen, I was bothered by the societal expectation of what people in love should be, so as I grew older, I had to unlearnt the status quo. Till date it doesn’t make sense to me that people are so uncomfortable and hateful towards people with different sexual identities than they are, it makes no sense.

Yesterday was Trans Day Of Visibility, and it felt right to share this story. I went on vacation to New Orleans a while back, and as is customary when visiting a new place, you’ve got to at least get an orgasm, it’s part of the experience. My girl and I had spotted a cute guy in the lobby the night before, he had just gotten his arm tattooed, we told him how cute he was and how dope his tat was. I kept my eyes open because I wanted to talk to him, but I hadn’t seen him around the hotel again. A day before I left, my girl and I returned hours after midnight after partying on Bourbon Street and there he was on the porch, so as a ho that I am, I told him I’d been looking for him and he responded with the most beautiful smile “I’ve been here baby.”

I slipped into something more comfortable, slipped a condom and mints into my jacket pocket and headed out to talk to this young man. We sat on the porch and talked for hours! At almost five in the morning, we moved to the hotel lobby and intensified the flirting some more. He kissed my neck, told me how beautiful I was, I moved in closer and then he told me he was Trans. I wasn’t bothered by what he was, and the wave of relief that washed over his face was unmistakable. I immediately clocked that he expected that his disclosing to me would make me less interested and honestly that made me sad because that must be the reality of people who identify as transgender. I had approached him as a ho, but for those almost three hours we had talked, I found him remarkable interesting and had switched from talking with my vagina to my actual brain, and it didn’t matter to me what he identified as because that does not a person make.

I kissed him first because the sound of his voice coupled with this perfect mouth, perfect teeth with the gap right in the middle unrestrained me completely. Sparks FLEW! He took me back to his hotel room, and he just watched me like I was art, then he came undone, undressed me and proceeded to refresh my memory on things that seemed such a distant memory ago. He touched me with intention, planting kisses everywhere, making me hold my breath and curl my toes and arc my back and scream. Everything about what he did to me was incredible. He held me in his arms, and we fell asleep shortly after, by this time it was full on morning, I’d say about past seven.

Long story short, what was supposed to be a one-night stand ended up with us spending the entire day together afterward, holding hands and kissing as we strolled through the streets of New Orleans in what can only be described as perfect weather. He took me to brunch, bought me jewelry, made me dinner, fed me ice cream, I had a marvelous time.

Here we are, weeks after we met on vacation and I still enjoy talking to him every day. I find him to be inspiring and funny and SUPER SMART and sweet and always looking for ways to please me. He declared his intention to want to date me but the last relationship I got out of damn near ruined my life, I lost a significant part of my soul last year, and I am not ready to bring down the fortress I’ve built up. I’m absolutely smitten with him, and I’m interested in the journey with him. Did I mention that he loves Beyoncé too and we danced to one of her songs together on the night we met? He had me at Beyoncé.

Hi, my name is S and the injustices that people go through because of what they identify as is utterly inhumane and according to the words of my Queen “How you identify and see yourself is your human right. Who you make love to and take that ass to Red Lobster is your human right.” – Beyoncé Giselle Knowles – Carter

Responses

  1. Tami Okoro Dedeh
    I remember when years ago I told my mother about men who have operations to become women and vice versa, and she didn’t believe me. Today they are everywhere. Who could have known Bruce Jenner would eventually have a sex-change? I wonder how they’d survive in homophobic Nigeria though…
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  2. ELIBABA
    You mean a she?
    Finding it normal and customary to get an orgasm on every new town visit doesn’t make sense to me, I mean that’s a messed up! Same way homophobic people don’t make sense to you.
    Being against people with different sexual identities is not just religious it’s Human!
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  3. G B
    I believe they(LGBTQ+) have the right to identify as whatever they like. And I do believe any two consenting adults can bang whomever they like, irrespective of quantity of partners and gender(s).
    I do think we have to draw a line somewhere on this issue, though. Frankly, it’s getting ridiculous. I think society is being asked to make a lot of concessions for what is really a small percentage of the population (4.5% of adults in the USA as of 2017, Gallup; this is worth a look at, if statistics are your thing).
    From letting people compete in sports categories they don’t belong in simply because they ‘feel’ like a different gender, to forcing people to make weird bathroom infrastructure decisions, to people arguing that terms like ‘mother’ and ‘father’ should not have gender connotations, even you, S, havr got to admit that the world is plain ridiculous right now. And this is coming from a “woke” Nigerian, Yoruba male, who grew up in Ibadan, who wouldn’t bat an eyelid if he saw two dudes kissing.
    If your son comes to you and says he feels like a girl, you should tell him his penis says he’s a man and he should get used to it.
    If he says he’s gay, different story.

    One issue needs therapy, the other does not.

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