Mouth odour is the most common one. For someone who has indulged in cigarettes, I can tell first-hand how your mouth can stink if you do not take care of it properly after smoking. There are those who have not smoked a day in their life, eaten garlic or any nasty stuff but the smell from their mouth can only be coming directly from veeeery constipated intestines.
Then there is the king of all smells – body odour. If you live in Lagos, you must be familiar with the stench around Adeniji towards the end of 3rd Mainland Bridge. Turn off your AC when you go through that point next time and get an idea of what hell must smell like. Yep, some people can smell that way. I tried telling a friend once and she quickly said ‘God forbid, it must be someone I hugged earlier’. Now, some people have this body odour and no deodorant or perfume from Lancôme or Givenchy can save them. I understand some are medical issues… This #potofbeans life sha!
Even body odour has grades, and the most difficult thing I think, is to tell your bae that they stink down there. Like how do you say it? “My baby, your pink rose smells like lemon grass today” or “My superman, did you spray mosquito coil today?” Several times I have wondered how it feels like for guys when they go down on a woman. Surely we do not all smell like fish down there but neither do we all smell like roses either.
Some people are definitely uncomfortable whenever they go down there. For others, well, let’s just say bless you for going down there and acting like its vanilla, chocolate and all things nice. I hail. However, don’t think we do not notice how you come right up to kiss us like, “Taste what I just went through” Yeah, yeah… We like our taste. No, we actually do! Ladies, back me up here!
Also, let’s not forget the guys that have some serious smells down there. Sitting with my girls, we talk about everything and anything and some have met guys who smell like he-goats down there. Fortunately, I don’t joke with hygiene in that area so I usually tell myself I can decode a guy before it gets to that stage, just by kissing. However, if I decide to give a guy head and he stinks, I will actually stop and ask if he minds taking a shower before we continue. Even after the shower, it is likely we will find a way to get down without involving the mouth in any activity after that.
However you see it, it is the most difficult thing to tell someone you love and the scariest too as you can never guess their reaction. This one is sensitive and can lead to anything as the recipient can get very uncomfortable. Next thing you know, sex in that relationship may become non-existent as the person will be ashamed and you know its downhill after that. I know someone will say, “If I can’t communicate freely, then we should not be in a relationship in the first place”. It is not that easy especially when it is not like we are from the same village or have the same home training. This is one situation where you do not drop it like it is hot, and even with caution, reactions will vary.
The blessings that come with knowing everything is clean down there can only be likened to that scene in “Coming to America”. You want bae to be able to dive in there and come out saying ‘The royal penis is clean, your highness!’”. Still, some people will rather live in denial than be told they stink. Others will rebuke you for telling them, some will waste a bottle of perfume once told and some would rather never be told. After all, if you love them, you have to accept them flaws and all, right?
Personally, I’d prefer to be told. I have to ask though, has anyone told you (lovingly or otherwise) that you smell? What was your reaction? Have you stopped someone from going down on you because you were not sure of how you smell or were scared to even find out? What would you do if you found out a friend or boo smells that bad down there? Let us know in the comments.
Image via Face2Face Africa