****

THE FIRST TIME WE… MET

First time

“Impress Me”

by @Male_ficent

_____

<I normally don’t do this DM thing, but I think your avatar is really pretty. Not that your tweets aren’t sensible as well, but…okay, let’s start again.>

<Hi, I’m Tunde and I think you’re really pretty.>

***

I scrutinized my 13th outfit in front of the mirror with my head tilted to the side and my lips pursed. I wanted to go for flirty but not slutty. Mature yet fun. Casual yet serious.

Did that even make sense? I blew out a frustrated breath and tugged the dress over my head. My date was coming to get me in an hour and I still had not decided on what to wear. At this rate, I was going to have to take another shower as I was getting sweaty. I knew all the dresses were fine but I wanted to look my best. As I kicked away discarded clothes on the floor to make way to my wardrobe, I smiled somewhat stupidly to myself. I was finally going to see Tunde.

I remembered the first message I got from him 9 months ago. Normally, I didn’t respond to direct messages on twitter from people I did not know and when I did, it was only to respond to birthday messages or serious inquiries. I had been intrigued by his message though. It did not matter that he had no photo up as his avatar. I could have been messaged by a catfish (or was it troll? I am terrible with social media lingo) or an ugly, bald dwarf but I had felt compelled for some strange reason to respond.

After the necessary 2 hour wait, of course.

<That’s very sweet of you. Thanks.>

He had replied almost immediately. I had not known whether to be put off by his eagerness or complimented by it.

<You’re welcome. What’s your name? And can I ask for your phone number or would that be too forward of me?>

I remembered how I had smiled wryly to myself when he replied. Of course it was forward of him. We had barely exchanged 3 sentences and he wanted my phone number.

Phone number as opposed to my BBM pin or email address. I gave him a star for this. Phone numbers were slightly more ambitious than asking for free contacts. Slightly, as he could still WhatsApp but again, he could call.

I waited a day before I replied.

<A little bit forward, but I’ll give it to you on one condition – impress me on here first.>

I had smirked to myself as I did not believe he would DM me again. Heck, he would probably ‘unfollow’ me for my somewhat snooty response.

<You’re pretty. You seem clever. You write a lot – and prefer your morbid stories to the ones that attract your followers yet you write them to keep steady traffic to your blog (I presume).>

<You seem sad yet you hide your sadness behind random tweets. You like food – except you’ve been pretending but I doubt it. You seem very sexual. I am too. No, I’m not being a perv. I’m just saying.>

<At the risk of sounding terribly cliché, I would like to get to know you outside these twitter walls.>

<We may end up friends but I doubt it. I believe there is a high chance we will end up in an exclusive relationship. We will end up together. Married.>

<I will read and procure novels for you. I will listen to your randomness and not be bored. I will feed you. I will worship your body and your mind.>

<These aren’t just words. They are promises… So, are you impressed?>

I had read each word with my mouth opening wider and wider till I heard a click in my jaw. I’m surprised mosquitoes hadn’t decided to do the Macarena all over my tongue.

<080522233341>

That had been the beginning.

He had called not texted or WhatsApp-ed. I was impressed yet again, although at this point I did not need to be further impressed. That message… I breathed in deeply as I felt a little tingle go up and down my spine. I had saved it on my phone.

His voice.

I smiled to myself as I slowly dragged on my knickers, lost in my thoughts.

We had spoken for hours. About everything and nothing.

He had called me daily. A text in the morning as he came to realize I was not a morning person, then a long conversation at night about how our days had been spent.

After a month of talks and chats and poetry (believe it or not!), he had reminded me about his exclusivity message.

I had refused as I had not seen him. I mean, I had seen his photos and we had Skyped but it was not the same. He was hot, granted but I was not ready to commit myself to someone I had never seen face to face over the other guys on my case who I could probably draw in my sleep. Plus there was the matter that he could have edited his photo, what with the numerous filters on smartphones although that wasn’t really in issue. I was halfway in love with his personality.

<You know if I could see you, I would. Right this moment, actually. But I can’t get any time off work for another year.>

<It sucks and I’ll keep on pushing for a break but please, don’t let this ruin something that could potentially be great. Be with me. Please.>

And that had been the start of our relationship. I, who had vowed never to be stupid enough to be in a long distance relationship, was in one with a guy in the UK.

My friends did not really understand but they tried to for my sake. Or they pretended convincingly. I told the guys who still tried to chat me up that I was in a relationship and glossed over matters when they demanded to know who it was. I spent my weeknights and weekends talking and chatting and Skyping my new boyfriend. I practically neglected my friends who had now moved from understanding to slight irritation – I was ignoring them for someone I had never met.

Last week, I had tried to break up with him. I had gotten frustrated by the fact that we had not seen in the 8 months we had been together and it seemed like he was not bothered. He never said anything about taking a holiday anymore and I had told him that I was going to come over for a week but he had replied with an adamant ‘No’.

I had erupted. I had cursed and wailed and threatened diabolical things to his anatomy if he was cheating on me with his ‘white hos’. When he kept on replying calmly, I had warned him never to call me again then hung up on him. I had not picked up his calls till a random Nigerian number rang me this morning.

Hello.

Kainene?

TUNDE? This is a Nigerian number!

Yes baby, surprise!

But I thought you said… you said it would take a year so that’s another 4 months.

I managed to get some time off. I’ll tell you about it over dinner tonight if you won’t be too exhausted after work.

Are you mad? Even if I was in hospital, you think I will give up this chance to finally see you and kiss you and slap you for not telling me you were already planning to come and making me shout like a fishwife then apologize for my craziness!??

He had laughed. And I had laughed and cried.

I shook my head as I smiled softly to myself. Then screamed a little as I saw the time. I had 20 minutes to get ready!

I grabbed the first dress I had dumped on the floor hours ago and shrugged into it. It was a little black dress, plain but elegantly cut. I quickly made up my face; not too much as I didn’t want to look like all those ojuju girls with their funky eyebrows and beauty spots that moved daily. In 10 minutes, I was spruced and ready.

10 more minutes and I would be seeing my boyfriend for the first time.

I nearly hurled.

7pm on the dot, I got a text message. He was outside. My heart skipped then raced then stopped then kickstarted.

I waved to my mum who knew all about it and she gave me a thumbs up as I ran to the door.

Soon I was close to the gate so I stopped to take in several much needed deep breaths.

The gateman opened the gates and I saw a car with the headlights on. A man was standing next to it.

My man.

My Tunde.

I smiled and walked slowly to him. He smiled back then pulled my face to his and placed the softest kiss on my lips.

Hi

Hi

We stared at each other for a long second. Then he opened his car door and brought out a letter before giving it to me.

I looked at him confused before looking down to read it.

My eyes grew wider as tears formed.

Oh Tunde.

I didn’t want to tell you until I was sure that it would work out.

He had gotten a job here. My baby was going to be here with me at last.

I crushed him to me with a hug…well, more like a stranglehold as he laughed and mock-choked.

Then I heard my phone ring. I glanced at it to see my dad’s phone number.

I smiled apologetically at him as I picked up the call.

Congratulations!

Hunh? Daddy, it’s me Kainene oh.

I know, I’m not senile yet. Hasn’t he asked? He told me to call once it was…oh, sorry. I thought it was 9 already.

Daddy?

Ignore me. Pretend this was a ghost you just spoke to. Wooooohhhhh…okay, have fun, my darling.

Had my father gotten early-onset dementia? I stared at the phone then looked up at Tunde.

Why did my father just call to congratulate me?

Tunde shook his head and chuckled quietly.

Well, I guess I’ll do it now then. It was supposed to be at Intercontinental with some violinists and well…anyway…

I could not see him as he knelt down or brought out a blue box from his pocket. I could not recall the words he spoke. I could not remember saying yes. I could not remember him slipping the ring on my finger.

All I felt was his kiss.

This was the best date ever and it had not even started. As I got into the car, I remembered his words. His promise.

<We may end up friends but I doubt it. I believe there is a high chance we will end up in an exclusive relationship. We will end up together. Married.>

<I will read and procure novels for you. I will listen to your randomness and not be bored. I will feed you. I will worship your body and your mind.>

<These aren’t just words. They are promises… So, are you impressed?>

Yes, I am and I believe my man will keep on impressing me for the rest of my life.

****

The First Time…We special is proudly sponsored by SureGifts.com.ng

sure

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Comments
  • Avatar
    Henry

    Nice

    February 10, 2014
    • Avatar
      Henry

      Wait…. I'm the first???? And dis is my first time of commenting

      February 10, 2014
      • Avatar
        thetoolsman

        tall glass of chapman for you : <[__]

        February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    d3ola

    AWWWWWWWWWWWW! So sweet and beautiful!

    February 10, 2014
    • Avatar
      immortalteddybear

      And unrealistic. Negro pls

      February 10, 2014
      • Avatar

        Buhahahahaha Hatur, twitter DMs didnt payoff for you i guess

        February 10, 2014
      • Avatar
        Annie

        That's what i was gonna say!

        & it was going so well too…

        February 10, 2014
        • Avatar
          toyin

          Well, it actually happens…

          February 10, 2014
          • Avatar
            Annie

            If you say so. -.-

            February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    FolaDee

    Love thrives… *sniffs*

    February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    random reader

    This is so sweet and unrealistic. Exactly how romance ought to be 🙂

    February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    yemi

    sigh…read this in class…grinning like a fool…just had to comment.

    February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    Kome Ovo

    Too sweet and unfortunately I’m diabetic.

    February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    Tola

    Okay, applaud. Homie play his cards right

    February 10, 2014
  • Avatar

    Awwww. Sniffs

    February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    Bukola

    awwwwwnnn soo cute… if only it happened like this in real life..*sigh*

    February 10, 2014
    • Avatar
      thisboyperforms

      It does! Only problem is, some people win the jackpot with the first lottery ticket they buy, some win after 10, some after 20, some after 50 and then some never will.

      February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    Tolu

    This is too sweet to be real,it’s fictional right??

    February 10, 2014
  • Avatar

    Shet! & I thought I was romantic. . .
    This right here is another level of chill, I can actually pick up the rose petals & random mushiness this post has left trailing all over my table. Noiiiiice.

    February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    seleemah

    A one in thousand occurence, but beautiful.

    February 10, 2014
  • Avatar

    Ehn i see, what happened to the serial killer part?

    February 10, 2014
    • Avatar
      Dodo

      Loool … don't be so paranoid

      February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    Wallz

    Tres magnifique!

    February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    Dodo

    I'm a guy but this is some serious "Aww" inducing story … AWWWWWWW.
    This is the kind of love story I want for my sister … once again awwwww

    February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    larz

    I love this story. Beautiful piece but…
    – I understand the gal n guy rcrazy in love so I understand the proposal? Arent our parents supposed to be voice of reasoning?
    – Are parents becoming so careless with their prized possessions that they will give consent to marriage so quickly? I cant help but wonder if her dad's consent is just another naija parents practice of trying to marry their daughters off at all cost.
    My dad told me of how his father had him go think about marriage to my mum until he gave consent. How many modern naija parents act a proper critique and voice of reasoning? Challenging us to evaluate our reasons for wanting to get married, ensuring we don't go in with rose tinted glasses.

    Like I sed, love this story, love the romance but having fathers consent just killed it for me.

    February 10, 2014
    • Avatar
      thetoolsman

      hahaha.. i was waiting for a comment like this. Ok, so for her dad to have know about the proposal before hand, lets just assume the guy went to seek his consent but I do get your point, a guy she's known for 8 months and never met comes to ask for your daughters hand in marriage? Questions Questions.. But it all boils down to just how liberal the world has become now. Are you going to raise your kids the same way your parents raised you? Maybe same principles but certainly some things will change.. I'm traditional when it comes to marriage, I believe parent's consent is very important but this right here could just be one of those exceptions…

      February 10, 2014
      • Avatar
        Toyin

        @Larz like Toolsman said, you can’t compare our generation to that of old. Things have changed. You can’t raise a child the same way children. Were raised in the olden days. Some values you still have to imbibe how ever the environment has changed. In a society where respect, parental consent are seen to be not important and necessary, a guy that will take his time to ask a girl’s father for his permission to marry his daughter should be taken seriously. I don’t believe the parents r so naïve about all that had transpired. The mother knew so she would have told the father. They would have bn talking about marriage for a while for the guy to have bn that confident to ask her father.
        Trust me nigerian parents would have consulted their pastors (lol) no one will give their child out so easily.
        Will love to give the father benefit of doubt that he had his findings on the boy. Besides, engagements can still be broken….

        February 10, 2014
        • Avatar
          larz

          "In a society where respect, parental consent are seen to be not important and necessary, a guy that will take his time to ask a girl's father for his permission to marry his daughter should be taken seriously."
          Just cause, society's standard has changed doesn't mean we have to. And I am not disputing the fact that he shud be taken seriously but the potential father inlaw cud have asked him to think about it more a little long? A month or two is not too much if it will give him confidence. There used to b a time wen ppl court not just their significant other but their family. Marriage is a merger btw two family

          February 10, 2014
    • Avatar
      larz

      @ toolman- I get your point. I am 26 yo and when I talk to my younger brother about his rships, I still try and be the voice of caution, just like he does with me. Why? Becuz, wen u r in love, it is easy to ignore and overlook things. If I can do that with my lil bro, parents can too. The fact that lots of parents r overlooking too many things might be a contributing factor to failed marriages nowadays. That n the fact that ppl spend more time planning weddings than marriages. But that is for another day.
      Yes- the parents must av been clued in. I mean, she lives at home, n all that long calls prbly wont go unnoticed.

      February 10, 2014
      • Avatar
        larz

        I know it is rare for a man to seek parents approval, but he did, n their is nothing wrong with the man saying "my son, you have done well in honouring me by seeking for my daughter's hand in marriage. God bless you. Now that you are back in naija, spend sometime with my daughter and if you still want her to be in your life for the rest of your life, please come back in (1/2/3) month's time and I will be glad to give you my blessing. It is a reasonable enough conversation, plus it will make the guy realise that they r not in a rush to marry their daughter off.

        February 10, 2014
        • Avatar
          thetoolsman

          Why do you always manage to sound older when you comment here.. Anyways, good comment and point well taken..

          February 11, 2014
  • Avatar
    justice

    Epic!!!

    February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    chaka Khan

    Awwwww…….. @thetoolsman this could be us but you have never asked for my number……hahahaha!

    February 10, 2014
    • Avatar
      thetoolsman

      hahahahahahahaha.. what is this?

      February 10, 2014
      • Avatar
        sleeksniper

        Lmaoooo!!! Exactly. What is this? O_o

        February 10, 2014
      • Avatar
        @Sirkastiq

        cc's k…

        February 11, 2014
  • Avatar
    Georgia

    Awwww … I'm just in love with this ….

    February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    kophojomo

    Awww…the fear nko? She wasnt scared not with all that Cynthia occurrence of last year…

    February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    sleeksniper

    Male_ficient did great.
    While it may come off as unrealistic, I do applaud the fact that he had a pen (or keyboard/keypad nowadays), wielded it (like so) and created a world he imagined.

    I remember a quote from an author (can't remember who), who said, "coincidences happen everyday in real life and no one bats an eyelid. Once it happens in fiction, your readers want your head on a platter."

    So…yeah. I like this. This is beautiful.

    February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    nijezie

    I'm just here taking notes from this dude and updating my sweet talk folder.

    February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    Adaeze

    I need such fairytale in my life.

    February 10, 2014
    • Avatar

      You can buy from Oshodi Market 😉

      February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    ranchosblog

    Yimu to the story (˘̯˘ )

    February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    Ama

    Lol i'm sorry but this is like a Harlequin story, no proper substance. This makes it predictable and boring. There's no suspense, no nothing. Such a flat story.

    February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    larz

    his dm message dou. It is causing trouble.

    February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    nkonyeasua

    Uhm, thanks guys. For all comments. This is Male_ficent.

    And I'm a girl btw 🙂 xx

    February 10, 2014
    • Avatar

      LOL. Cool story there, with especially smooth chat-up lines.

      February 11, 2014
  • Avatar
    imperfectlyperfect92

    and I went all awwwww at the end. could this be for real? sweet to think it could be but reality….
    anyhoos, I loved this

    February 10, 2014
  • Avatar
    toeseen

    oh oh oh *places hand on forehead,shakes head and smiles* i think that this could happen in real life.,very rare, but it could…oh who am i kidding?! i don't care if it could happen in real life or not, this is just so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    February 11, 2014
  • Avatar
    Terdoh

    So….

    You girls really wait two hours (and a subsequent full 24) to reply a DM yeah?

    Alright. Alright….

    This nigga proposed on the first date sha. Obviously a super hero.

    February 11, 2014
    • Avatar
      @Sirkastiq

      That's all I'm saying

      February 11, 2014
  • Avatar
    @Sirkastiq

    I don't even get DMs talk less of phone numbers…that's why I left twitter.

    The story tho…lol

    All these girls will now think this is how life is.

    February 11, 2014
  • Avatar
    @@Tsarina_muna

    I ddnt know we had to time our response *noted and its fiction so I’m just going to daydream about this story till I get over it :'(

    February 11, 2014
  • Avatar
    Tori

    This is a beautiful story! I wish things like this happened in real life. It is too easy to like people online so I try to avoid that kinda thing. In real life he would be ugly and unable to hold a conversation offline. But I love the fact that your story helped me escape from reality for a while. Beautiful!

    February 11, 2014
  • Avatar
    365woman

    This is sooooo cute I can't even fault the dad for giving his consent so early… I'm going to excuse dad by saying Tunde had probably been keeping in touch with him way before he landed on Nigerian soil.
    Plus so what if they've only know each other for only 8months, there's no time duration for this things, knowing someone or being in a relationship for 8yrs doesn't guarantee anything anyways… not that I support people being frivolous but hey… c'est la vie.
    I could go on and on, but I'll stop here bottom line is, it is a beautiful story and I totally love it!
    Ps: did it happen in real life?lol

    February 11, 2014
  • Avatar
    Tori

    "Phone numbers were slightly more ambitious than asking for free contacts."
    PREACH!

    February 11, 2014
  • Avatar
    azariah

    I cried.

    February 11, 2014
  • Avatar
    Josh

    So you agreed to marry a man you are just meeting for the first time?. Splendid.

    I'll See you on relationship blogs in 3months seeking advice/complaining about your marriage

    February 11, 2014
  • Avatar
    tsw19

    wow!!! this story is awesome but this rarely happens in real life though

    February 12, 2014
  • Avatar
    tsw19

    but that was a quick proposal sha and she was too quick to say yes without thinking properly.

    February 12, 2014
  • Avatar
    Adekemisola

    All the people complaining about saying yes to someone she just met for the first time might be wrong. A relationship is a relationship, the only difference btw long distance and normal ones is the lack of physical contacts and appearances. A lot of long distance relationships don't work, why? Cos they have thesame issues people who see themselves every other day have.

    February 12, 2014
  • Avatar
    Alex

    *sigh* <3 <3

    February 12, 2014
  • Avatar
    ijebuPrincess

    *deep sigh* I was sooo sure the guy was going to be crippled….

    February 12, 2014
  • Avatar
    feyisayofunmi

    @Ijebuprincess lol,Thank God say na friction even though the probability that it will happen in reality is 0.0001

    February 12, 2014
  • Avatar

    I actually expected the man standing beside the car to have been the driver or someone else and the letter itself to have been from Tunde saying he was waiting for her somewhere. And then he would have KBE bad hand and one bad leg and be 2.5ft tall.

    February 13, 2014
    • Avatar
      MsBraimah

      U sef….lol

      February 13, 2014
    • Avatar

      LMAO. What is this?!

      February 14, 2014
      • Avatar

        Na possible ending na.

        Shebi it is allowed?

        February 14, 2014
  • Avatar
    Mo

    Oh shit! Shit Shit! Dis is it, d only thing that wuld make it more perfect 4me is all of it happening I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ 6mnths…My Dream already happened

    February 13, 2014
  • Avatar
    MsBraimah

    Awwwwwwwwwww… proudly rocking my Lastma hat… but this is amazing and makes me wanna fall in love again but then I snap back to reality :D…cool

    February 13, 2014
  • Avatar

    I love this story!! The romantic in me was hooked from the 1st line. This one of the best cute meets and how a lot of people see that epic love story. That said the logic girl in me has said it's not likely to happen to me like that….she's such a b*^#h!

    February 15, 2014
  • Avatar
    Nihyah

    This one, I do love. Left a BIG smile on my face and of course, some yearning in my spirit…

    February 15, 2014
  • Avatar
    Jane

    This sounded lyk my story, I met my boo on social media too, we fell in luv b4 we eventually met, and I remembered being sooooo tensed d day we actually met, we Neva skyped or do any video call, buh we had exchanged pictures and long call. I remembered asking him dat wat if he came and realized I was different from wat he expected, he just laughed and told me he actually tot of it, well now, we r together and it's forever , he is d best tin dat has Eva happened to me. Tnx for d story once again

    February 16, 2014
  • Avatar
    oluwadunni

    Awwwwww, so sweet! And definitely not unrealistic, in this age we live in. I want me a man like this, a man who has a way with words.

    February 18, 2014
  • Avatar
    mizpeppermint

    Wowwwwwza!

    February 20, 2014
  • Avatar
    abigie

    beautiful piece….i am officially a fan of tnc

    February 21, 2014
  • Avatar
    igee

    Awwwwwwww <3<3

    March 8, 2014
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