The First Time We… Met

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THE FIRST TIME WE… MET

“Impress Me”

by @Male_ficent

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<I normally don’t do this DM thing, but I think your avatar is really pretty. Not that your tweets aren’t sensible as well, but…okay, let’s start again.>

<Hi, I’m Tunde and I think you’re really pretty.>

***

I scrutinized my 13^th outfit in front of the mirror with my head tilted to the side and my lips pursed. I wanted to go for flirty but not slutty. Mature yet fun. Casual yet serious.

Did that even make sense? I blew out a frustrated breath and tugged the dress over my head. My date was coming to get me in an hour and I still had not decided on what to wear. At this rate, I was going to have to take another shower as I was getting sweaty. I knew all the dresses were fine but I wanted to look my best. As I kicked away discarded clothes on the floor to make way to my wardrobe, I smiled somewhat stupidly to myself. I was finally going to see Tunde.

I remembered the first message I got from him 9 months ago. Normally, I didn’t respond to direct messages on twitter from people I did not know and when I did, it was only to respond to birthday messages or serious inquiries. I had been intrigued by his message though. It did not matter that he had no photo up as his avatar. I could have been messaged by a catfish (or was it troll? I am terrible with social media lingo) or an ugly, bald dwarf but I had felt compelled for some strange reason to respond.

After the necessary 2 hour wait, of course.

<That’s very sweet of you. Thanks.>

He had replied almost immediately. I had not known whether to be put off by his eagerness or complimented by it.

<You’re welcome. What’s your name? And can I ask for your phone number or would that be too forward of me?>

I remembered how I had smiled wryly to myself when he replied. Of course it was forward of him. We had barely exchanged 3 sentences and he wanted my phone number.

Phone number as opposed to my BBM pin or email address. I gave him a star for this. Phone numbers were slightly more ambitious than asking for free contacts. Slightly, as he could still WhatsApp but again, he could call.

I waited a day before I replied.

<A little bit forward, but I’ll give it to you on one condition – impress me on here first.>

I had smirked to myself as I did not believe he would DM me again. Heck, he would probably ‘unfollow’ me for my somewhat snooty response.

<You’re pretty. You seem clever. You write a lot – and prefer your morbid stories to the ones that attract your followers yet you write them to keep steady traffic to your blog (I presume).>

<You seem sad yet you hide your sadness behind random tweets. You like food – except you’ve been pretending but I doubt it. You seem very sexual. I am too. No, I’m not being a perv. I’m just saying.>

<At the risk of sounding terribly cliché, I would like to get to know you outside these twitter walls.>

<We may end up friends but I doubt it. I believe there is a high chance we will end up in an exclusive relationship. We will end up together. Married.>

<I will read and procure novels for you. I will listen to your randomness and not be bored. I will feed you. I will worship your body and your mind.>

<These aren’t just words. They are promises… So, are you impressed?>

I had read each word with my mouth opening wider and wider till I heard a click in my jaw. I’m surprised mosquitoes hadn’t decided to do the Macarena all over my tongue.

<080522233341>

That had been the beginning.

He had called not texted or WhatsApp-ed. I was impressed yet again, although at this point I did not need to be further impressed. That message… I breathed in deeply as I felt a little tingle go up and down my spine. I had saved it on my phone.

His voice.

I smiled to myself as I slowly dragged on my knickers, lost in my thoughts.

We had spoken for hours. About everything and nothing.

He had called me daily. A text in the morning as he came to realize I was not a morning person, then a long conversation at night about how our days had been spent.

After a month of talks and chats and poetry (believe it or not!), he had reminded me about his exclusivity message.

I had refused as I had not seen him. I mean, I had seen his photos and we had Skyped but it was not the same. He was hot, granted but I was not ready to commit myself to someone I had never seen face to face over the other guys on my case who I could probably draw in my sleep. Plus there was the matter that he could have edited his photo, what with the numerous filters on smartphones although that wasn’t really in issue. I was halfway in love with his personality.

<You know if I could see you, I would. Right this moment, actually. But I can’t get any time off work for another year.>

<It sucks and I’ll keep on pushing for a break but please, don’t let this ruin something that could potentially be great. Be with me. Please.>

And that had been the start of our relationship. I, who had vowed never to be stupid enough to be in a long distance relationship, was in one with a guy in the UK.

My friends did not really understand but they tried to for my sake. Or they pretended convincingly. I told the guys who still tried to chat me up that I was in a relationship and glossed over matters when they demanded to know who it was. I spent my weeknights and weekends talking and chatting and Skyping my new boyfriend. I practically neglected my friends who had now moved from understanding to slight irritation – I was ignoring them for someone I had never met.

Last week, I had tried to break up with him. I had gotten frustrated by the fact that we had not seen in the 8 months we had been together and it seemed like he was not bothered. He never said anything about taking a holiday anymore and I had told him that I was going to come over for a week but he had replied with an adamant ‘No’.

I had erupted. I had cursed and wailed and threatened diabolical things to his anatomy if he was cheating on me with his ‘white hos’. When he kept on replying calmly, I had warned him never to call me again then hung up on him. I had not picked up his calls till a random Nigerian number rang me this morning.

Hello.

Kainene?

TUNDE? This is a Nigerian number!

Yes baby, surprise!

But I thought you said… you said it would take a year so that’s another 4 months.

I managed to get some time off. I’ll tell you about it over dinner tonight if you won’t be too exhausted after work.

Are you mad? Even if I was in hospital, you think I will give up this chance to finally see you and kiss you and slap you for not telling me you were already planning to come and making me shout like a fishwife then apologize for my craziness!??

He had laughed. And I had laughed and cried.

I shook my head as I smiled softly to myself. Then screamed a little as I saw the time. I had 20 minutes to get ready!

I grabbed the first dress I had dumped on the floor hours ago and shrugged into it. It was a little black dress, plain but elegantly cut. I quickly made up my face; not too much as I didn’t want to look like all those ojuju girls with their funky eyebrows and beauty spots that moved daily. In 10 minutes, I was spruced and ready.

10 more minutes and I would be seeing my boyfriend for the first time.

I nearly hurled.

7pm on the dot, I got a text message. He was outside. My heart skipped then raced then stopped then kickstarted.

I waved to my mum who knew all about it and she gave me a thumbs up as I ran to the door.

Soon I was close to the gate so I stopped to take in several much needed deep breaths.

The gateman opened the gates and I saw a car with the headlights on. A man was standing next to it.

My man.

My Tunde.

I smiled and walked slowly to him. He smiled back then pulled my face to his and placed the softest kiss on my lips.

Hi

Hi

We stared at each other for a long second. Then he opened his car door and brought out a letter before giving it to me.

I looked at him confused before looking down to read it.

My eyes grew wider as tears formed.

Oh Tunde.

I didn’t want to tell you until I was sure that it would work out.

He had gotten a job here. My baby was going to be here with me at last.

I crushed him to me with a hug…well, more like a stranglehold as he laughed and mock-choked.

Then I heard my phone ring. I glanced at it to see my dad’s phone number.

I smiled apologetically at him as I picked up the call.

Congratulations!

Hunh? Daddy, it’s me Kainene oh.

I know, I’m not senile yet. Hasn’t he asked? He told me to call once it was…oh, sorry. I thought it was 9 already.

Daddy?

Ignore me. Pretend this was a ghost you just spoke to. Wooooohhhhh…okay, have fun, my darling.

Had my father gotten early-onset dementia? I stared at the phone then looked up at Tunde.

Why did my father just call to congratulate me?

Tunde shook his head and chuckled quietly.

Well, I guess I’ll do it now then. It was supposed to be at Intercontinental with some violinists and well…anyway…

I could not see him as he knelt down or brought out a blue box from his pocket. I could not recall the words he spoke. I could not remember saying yes. I could not remember him slipping the ring on my finger.

All I felt was his kiss.

This was the best date ever and it had not even started. As I got into the car, I remembered his words. His promise.

<We may end up friends but I doubt it. I believe there is a high chance we will end up in an exclusive relationship. We will end up together. Married.>

<I will read and procure novels for you. I will listen to your randomness and not be bored. I will feed you. I will worship your body and your mind.>

<These aren’t just words. They are promises… So, are you impressed?>

Yes, I am and I believe my man will keep on impressing me for the rest of my life.

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The First Time…We special is proudly sponsored by SureGifts.com.ng