She’s funny – has a wonderful sense of humour. She’s intelligent – she always seems to know something about everything. She’s attractive – you know, in that, wifey-ish kinda way. You’ve been friends with her longer than you can remember. She’s seen them all come and go – tall, short, dark skinned, light. She laughed at you when you had the thing for skinny models. She helped pick out several birthday gifts, Valentine’s day gifts and even ‘I’m sorry’ cards. Heck, she’s even raised you money severally when things were “tight”. Yes. She knows you almost as well as your mother – if not more. She’s not your sister (even though you call her that sometimes). She’s not your girlfriend. She’s not your best friend. she’s your “homegurl”.

Here’s the part you don’t tell her – she’s probably on the ermm… “chubby” side – ok, ok, she’s  a little fat. She wears little or no makeup, hardly ever wears a dress (except that one time you dragged her to that dinner as your date). She knows as much as you, or probably more than you when it comes to the Premier League and sports generally. She has no problem belching or farting around you; discussing her menstrual cycle isn’t a taboo; and sex? You can’t remember the last time she brought up the topic but you always seem to discuss it with her because well, she just gets you like that.

Most guys have at some point had or currently have a homegurl. No matter how much we deny it, we all have that one (or more) go-to-gurl who always has our back. For some, it might be their moms. For others, sisters and in some cases, they might not even be as described above. I know some friends with “homegurls” hotter than their girlfriends or wives. A lot of people say the best kinds of marriages happen when a guy marries his best friend. Probably so. But except I’ve been rolling in the wrong packs, finding a woman with all I described in the first paragraph combined with the opposite of all I described in the second, is very very rare.

So, what’s the solution? Find the opposite of paragraph two, hook up with her and keep your “homegurl” on the close by? Did I hear you say trouble? Well, I don’t know about you but most times I see women in relationships feeling threatened by their man’s “homegurl” is when she’s serious competition. By that, I mean paragraph 1 + opposite of 2 + possibly more.

Does anyone remember the movie Just Wright? The one where **SPOILER ALERT*** Common and Queen Latifah’s characters hook up at the end? It made me wonder just how often that happens in life. Can the reason behind this be my theory on paragraph 1 & 2 or is there some other reason? Maybe we should even start from “homegurls” and why we men seem to need them. Let’s hear from the guys today and if you’re a gurl (perhaps a homegurl) please use the comment box and speak your mind. Cheers.

Responses

  1. Miz
    You know I started reading this and as soon as I was three lines in I realized it sounded so familiar….this is Homegurl-Nomics, you published it in like March 2013 (don’t ask me why I know that)

    Oh well…at least you didn’t describe the homegurl as “probably dark skinned” this time 🙂

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    1. Daeyo
      “At least you didn’t describe the homegurl as “probably dark skinned” this time :)”

      Same reason I started rolling my eyes at the article. Before, it was dark skin, now why homegurl gotta be fat this time tho? Shows your personal bias 😉

      Let’s hope for more growth in 46 months time. Amen

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      1. thetoolsman Post author
        haha.. Bias though.. I have two homegurls who cover the spectrum with respect to size and colour.. I always do a little of research (at least) before writing any whatsoever. I sampled a small group of friends, colleagues etc back then and I did the same again with this revision. The general consensus is that most guys don’t often have homegurls they are physically attracted to. Back then, skin colour was a big topic so it obviously came out in my mini survey.. Nowadays we are all about body size.. fitfam this and that so again, I wasn’t surprised to see the switch. I hope that helps a little.
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  2. Feyishayo
    As someone’s”homegurl” (calls me his best friend tho),this just made me laugh. We talked abt this best friends getting married thing too. I think everyone home girl needs to make sure she doesn’t get taken advantage of at some points.
    PS:It’s so easy to ‘catch feelings’ if u’re not careful
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  3. Oiyk
    My woman has always been envious of my homegurl and way back long into when i was an undergrad, many potential bae i tried talking to always referred me to my homegurl being my bae. My homegurl was always nearby as far as she was in town. I knew all her dates, knew all her ups and down, knew when something new was about to happen or when she was about to exit a phase. we just fit each other like glove.
    Took alot of personal convincing for my woman to realise there was absolutely nothing between my homegurl and i. Twasn’t funny and sometimes even up till now still isn’t funny and homegurl is also married too but the doubts just keeps finding its way in once in a while.
    1+
  4. Uche
    Lol. home girl. Loool. How many guys will be okay with their significant others having home boys or being someone’s home girl?
    I don’t believe in this thing. You guys can be good friends. Full stop. The moment people start yimuing when you say you are not together, or you start having to over explaining relationship, you guys need to part ways or just date. Simple.
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  5. Esther Akorede
    Hmmm I think a “homegurl” is a bad idea. Even if she isn’t your type, there must be something that has kept you as friends for such a long time. All it takes is for her to glow up a bit and you will observe the no attraction quickly changes. I don’t see why you wouldn’t consider just marrying the “homegurl” and if you are as close as you say, you can tell her she can polish herself up a bit. Just my two pence anyway
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