The Lagos Landlord’s Soliloquy

Opinion

These tenants are such a pain in the ass – But come month-end I’ll show them who is boss. Because she owes not, Comfort prances about with so much sass With that her fried hair that looks like river moss. *** With my hard-earned money in the 80’s, I built this house; So nobody can…

Share

Share
Text size
+

These tenants are such a pain in the ass –

But come month-end I’ll show them who is boss.

Because she owes not, Comfort prances about with so much sass

With that her fried hair that looks like river moss.

***

With my hard-earned money in the 80’s, I built this house;

So nobody can come in-between my money and I…

Not even Joe alapamasise who hides and scurries about like a mouse.

I swear next month I won’t fall for any lie.

Ehen! The Fuji family in my little community:

Baba Ranti of two wives and eighteen children –

He still owes three months o! The impunity!

Next month he’ll move to Eko Underbridge to join his brethren.

Ahnahn! Taniyen?! Etimbuk has come again!

Mr chef who chooses to torment my nose as much as he can.

Anyway, he pays promptly so he can cause me no pain –

But I should include ‘Cooking for Landlord’ in his payment plan

***

On a more serious note, my ears are full.

One of my tenants pays huge for just one room

But the cars he parks outside are so big and beautiful.

They say he is into juju. Ah! My head save me from doom.

***

I love my money dearly but I love my house more.

Beyond the babel of broken and budding dreamers,

This house foundations friendship not war.

Lagos has many questions and my house is one of the answers.

**Alapamasise: refers to a lazy person who does not have a job.

**Taniyen: means “Who is that?”

Responses

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

+