This Isn’t Goodbye


Score: I Loved Her First || Heartland For the first time in a long time, I cried. I wish I could tell you exactly why my eyes leaked but I can’t tell you what I don’t know. I guess no matter how many books one reads or movies watched, some things can never be truly…


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Score: I Loved Her First || Heartland

For the first time in a long time, I cried.

I wish I could tell you exactly why my eyes leaked but I can’t tell you what I don’t know. I guess no matter how many books one reads or movies watched, some things can never be truly understood till one experiences it for one’s self.

I remember the first day we met. It was a ridiculous night at the cafeteria back in college. You were with a friend of mine and while he and I talked, you asked for my name and what year I was in. We argued for the longest time when I told you we were in the same year because you said you’d never seen me before. *chuckle* My friend literally had to chase me away else we’d probably have ended up talking all night. Before I left, you declared me as your husband and told me since we were now married, I had no right to disappear on you again and from that moment, our friendship grew like a weed. We were not in the same department (hell we were not in the same faculty!), our timetables were as mismatched as zebra stripes on polka dots and my time was essentially split between my program and my girlfriend but somehow, our friendship blossomed. I always marveled at the way you broke into a smile when you saw me, then I realize I was smiling just as widely and then you’d go on to tell me all that I’d missed since I last saw you.

I remember the first thing you ever gave me. We were catching up after lectures that day and somehow, the conversation led to how girls always seemed to have more money and provisions than guys and I joked that you should give me your cereal. We got to your hall and you told me you’d be back in a bit and you came back with a box of Rice Krispies and two packs of milk. ‘Surprised’ would be an understatement because I was legit joking but your good heart deemed me hungry and in need of cereal. “Worthy of more cereal” were your words. LOL. I remember how nervous you were when you were to co-anchor that public speaking event; you kept worrying you’d somehow botch up your lines and I remember how proud of you I was when you SLAYED it. I could go on about all the memories we shared together in school.

Then life began to happen; school ended, ‘adulting’ started and even though we didn’t see or talk as much, when we did, it was great. I even remember when you told me about meeting oga and how excited I was for you. Thank you for being a true friend. There aren’t many people out there who know how to be that but you did and you are just that with seeming effortless grace. You were not always there but if I ever needed you, I knew you would be. I didn’t know what loving a friend so purely and genuinely meant till I met you and I am more than stoked that you found someone to share the rest of your life with. I pray that your union oozes joy, beauty and happiness a billion times more than you could ever wish; I pray that our Father, who is Love itself, would show and teach you the way and the sound of laughter and happiness would never leave your new home.


I still don’t know why I cried. But I suspect it’s cut from the same cloth as the reason why some fathers cry when they’re giving their daughters away; a weird mix of sadness at losing their daughters with happiness she’s found a home for herself and pride at the woman their baby girl has become.

No matter what you change your last name to or how many kids you have, you’d always be the girl I met that crazy night at the cafeteria, who stole my ice cream, and along with it, my heart.

Happy married life, dearest Moyin.

I love you.

Your friend, Cavey

P.S.: So ummm, do you have cereal you’re not using?


    1. Cavey
      How am I supposed to give tips on something I don’t even know I’m doing? ????????????????. But I can give you a piece of cake leftover from my birthday last week so here you go ????
      1. TheWeird1
        But hollup ooo!!! How come u still have cake leftover from last week? I find it hard to understand all u strange creatures who’d have cake n still look elsewhere for breakfast, lunch or dinner.
        1. Cavey Post author
          Thank you , especially for the promise of cake (you better keep your word :D). And just so you know, I offered him a slice from the cake I got on wednesday (my friends are spoiling me and I’m not complaining).

          PS: TNC/@toolsman where is my cake -_-

          1. Cavey Post author
            all…most of the details you need would be made available if you just find your way to my direct message here on TNC or on Twitter 🙂
  1. Jimi Escobar
    Do break-up/goodbye letters ever get so easy to right? I’m saving this for when life begins to happen; when school ends, when ‘adulting’ starts and when we don’t see or talk as much… I’m saving this until I have to take cue on what/how to write my current ‘Love’, when she’s getting married to another (already-made) man. We are in our final year at the university, you see! Until then.
    1. Cavey Post author
      Oh you don’t have to save anything. If/when that time comes, just speak from the heart; that’s all that matters.
      PS:I think you have the wrong idea. The girl in the article and I were never involved. She’s just a great friend and I wrote that after the speech I gave at her wedding a couple of weeks ago 😀
      PPS: Thank you for reading 🙂
  2. Exclusive
    Hi Jimi,

    I’m curious as to why you think there is a clock just ticking away the hours until the death/end of your relationship.

    Why? Because you’re mates, maybe? You’re not “made” yet? My intention isn’t to sound optimistic just for the sake of being so but in some of these cases, the lines do fall in pleasant places.

    My parents are mates and have been married for over 2 decades.

    Remember always, that she chose you. You.

  3. Jimi Escobar
    Hey there Exclusive,

    Thank you for reaching out. Your response is quite reassuring, I must confess. Thank you once again for your kind words, I’ll take them under advisement.

    Peace and love.

  4. Seun
    Hmm..this is a familiar terrain, except that in my case, she isn’t married yet. I was three years her senior in University.

    Those who knew us together back then often thought we were involved with each other and sometimes still ask how my girl is. After years of being apart, I noticed she still has my ‘mumu botton.

  5. Snow
    Errrm, i’m gonna look past all the mush and cupcake feelings *gags* and ask; WHO ZONED WHO? And what zone is this exactly?
    Just answer. Dont Try to explain.

    But i’m also tempted to take this as fiction,

    1. Cavey Post author
      Cynical much? No one zoned anyone. It was pure friendship from go. And you don’t have to believe it, that’s fine too. Thankfully my friendships don’t feed/depend on your belief ????
  6. Omoté
    We spoilt ours by getting involved….that’s one friendship I miss terribly. Everything was effortless. We understood each other without saying a word. I miss u ‘Best friend’! It’s me, Milk!
  7. Ramatu
    Cavey! Cavey! Cavey!

    It is weird how cool you are even when you are extremely mushy. Lol.

    I love the fact that this shows what I have always believed; guys and girls can be true friends without it being more than that. There is beauty in friendship and that beauty makes life worth living.

    But….????????????????????, you are so mushy! Lol

    Good one dearie. You set the bar just right.

  8. Princewill
    Firstly, this is breath-taking. Thank you.

    Secondly, thank you for reassuring me you can be ‘just’ friends with the opposite sex and not look stupid. Because folks have been giving me this ‘bros-you-na-well’ attitude anytime they see me with her. Granted her beauty is crystal immaculate, but shes a great friend, and that’s all i feel for her.

    Thirdly, Happy Birthday in arrears. God bless your new age.

    P.S: No vex ooo, i go copy and edit this for her byday ooo, thank God for writers like una.

    1. Cavey Post author
      It is beautiful, @oiyk
      True friendships are a blessing and I think, for a second, it hurts when we have to let them go ‘cos we want to keep them to ourselves but that second passes and we are ecstatic that they have found happiness and that’s all we want for them. I hope you two are still great friends.
      Thank you for sharing this.
  9. ReRe (pwreety)
    I don’t think I’ve bn so grateful for the friendship we shared @cavey . Whb we met I could remember saying why will a guy be such hopeless romantic but it was so cool, funny too. I learnt a whole lot from you. You opened my mind up to the world of reading. I remember the article you sent me and I made the talk of my course and my friends wanted to meet you. So many beautiful memories I don’t go on sharing (you know I’m married now????????) thanks for being a friend, thanks for this beautiful write up, thanks for missing my wedding ????????. I know you are going places and I won’t stop associating with you.
    Thanks for a beautiful memories shared and cheers to new ones yet to be created????. @cavey ????????
  10. Dharmmie
    Cavey’O’Cavey! How I missed thee!!

    This is a great one, again. But, ain’t surprised. You’re the TNC Romeo after all.

    Buzz me… you know where.

    1. Cavey Post author
      Comments like this are the reason I write!
      As much as I write for myself, I also write so someone out there knows (s)he’s not alone, that someone understands. Thank you, , YOU are awesome!
  11. Reina
    Wow woow woow! You have converted me, I’m a Cavey believer! Beautiful piece and indeed pure friendship is beautiful…it just hardly stays that way for a lot of others.

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