This Will Ruin You


I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with a jealous woman, I said to myself that night. Little did I know it would only get worse. I didn’t know I would get slapped too.


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….I just kept on staring at the corner of the bed where the slap landed me on.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry please; it was a mistake ‘Tiwa kept on repeating

She dared not touch me. I then began to remember the things I said I would do to any girl who slaps me when I was much younger but alas, if it doesn’t happen to you, you never know.

It was the first time she slapped but not the first time she did something similar.

It was my birthday on the 17th day in August last year. She was the first to call me

‘Don’t pick any calls apart from mine, she jealously said’ mo ti gbo o

She was like my first love having been chaste throughout my university days

“It’s going to be a great day” she said   I know, I replied

We already scheduled plans for the day. I woke up in the morning, took a special bath and dressed neatly with voices whispering ‘it’s going to be a great day’ in my head. It was my second birthday with my girlfriend; my first love. We met at our rendezvous. She welcomed me with a warm kiss.

We were going to have lunch, and basically just have fun for the rest of the day before we returned to my house for a special birthday sex

At the restaurant, we ordered our meals and started eating, staring at each other like one of the scenes in a Hollywood movie. Soon enough, I recognized an old friend nearby who fortunately saw my birthday notification on facebook. Of course she wanted to greet me. She rushed towards me with a hug. I had to leave the table to talk to her. She excused me away from Tiwa for a little chat. I kept on looking back and making signs I’d join her soon. In less than 3 minutes, I was back. Her face changed, I didn’t know what happened she flared up, got angry uncontrollably and scattered the table spilling the dishes on me. I was so embarrassed but had to act normal and leave there. Birthday came to an impromptu finish. It was the worst birthday ever

Sadly, it didn’t end there. I didn’t know she was capable of doing worse. The other incident that happened was on my sister’s wedding and as my girlfriend; she had a spot among family. She came over as a guest. I had plans to introduce her to the big family unknown to her. As expected, I was busy throughout the event serving people food and attending to other requests from the invited guests. Tiwa was sitted all alone in the hall like we agreed; I didn’t want to engage her in the stress of being an usher. It wasn’t so difficult errands with help from my younger female cousin who is very pretty of course. Probably she must have had the thought she wasn’t who I told her she was. We were very close of course and maybe she looked like she was my girlfriend. Just maybe.

At the end of the whole day’s work, I went to sit with her. She was livid and her face looked very hard, like someone who had been abandoned. I thought she understood how busy I would be before she agreed to come to the ceremony. I tried to joke with her but all she did was shout at me and angrily left the event. The attention of the hall was directed towards my side. I tried to calm them down by telling them she was just an unsatisfied guest. Not so many people knew her after all so it was quite easy for me. Again, it was an embarrassing outing with her.

I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with a jealous woman, I said to myself that night. Little did I know it would only get worse. I didn’t know I would get slapped too.

It wasn’t all rosy. We had fights more than often and it was difficult having to combine work with such a life threatening relationship.

All through the years, I thought I could change her to stop being jealous on seeing me with anyone else but I was wrong. People do not change so easily. I lied to myself.

I wanted to take her home to mama.

She isn’t the one for me……….. She isn’t the one for me…. I kept on telling myself as tears flowed down my cheek till I slept off.

This will ruin you, I told her as she packed her bags the following morning.

I’m 27 and still searching.


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