I was chatting with a friend a short while ago, and our conversation reminded me of something that my brother mentioned to me on one of those horrible trips to the market. Yes, I hate the market even though I used to tend my mother’s shop (more like stall). The noise, the smells… Urgh. Just let me stop there.
Anyway, this friend of mine was ‘singu to stupour’, thanks to the frankly admirable decision to focus on building an admittedly brilliant career. She told me her self-spun cobwebs stood a chance of being cleaned out over the yuletide period because an old boyfriend would be among the IJGB 2016 Batch ‘B’ arrivals (apparently they are like the NYSC now). Old flames would be briefly rekindled and, at the end of the festive season, doused faster than Naira’s hopes of resurging against the pound. She says he’s too flaky for her to consider attempting a full relationship again. But between the sheets, it’s worth the effort.
This leads me to my brother’s point. While driving back from the market, he put forward a very interesting equation which he called Okafor’s law of Congodynamics.
The law states:
C1 + P = C∞
This means that once a Congo has been shined once (C1), it can always be shined (C∞ ) provided it was shined properly (P) the previous times.
In other words, if you’ve slept with someone before and you maybe did a good job, chances are high that you always will be able to do it again, and again, and again… *cue Barney Stinson’s voice for the echo here*
According to Urban Dictionary, “this statement applies to guys mostly. If you have been involved with a girl for a period of time and did a good job in and out of the bedroom, the belief is that you can always go to the girl at any given time and sleep with her again no matter what situation arises.”
Obviously, there are variables to consider, including but not limited to:
- M – Marital Status
- O – opportunity
- F – Financial status of either party
- S – State at which the relationship ended, and so on.
However, I have always wondered if the above theory holds true at all. Someone actually called it the doctrine of the old firewood. Hilarious, but apt.
Okafor himself is said to be a former UNILAG student who supposedly slept with over 3500 women in his youth. This I find highly dubious because UNILAG alumni have a tendency to claim undocumented urban legends.
However, UNILAG or UniKnacks aside, I’d like to look at the issue in line with relationships. In my very limited experience, it’s difficult to proffer an opinion one way or the other. I’m terrible at relationships, and I tend to not really have them so I will ‘gracefully’ excuse myself from opining on this topic. I’d rather hear/read your opinions/experiences.
So, over to you guys. For the ladies, does this “law” hold true? If you were in a convenient situation, would you sleep with your ex again?
No, not for closure, you are not ‘adeleing‘ this time. Wouldn’t it mess with your head again? Isn’t it inconsistent with that annoying, but well propagated, fallacy that women only see sex emotionally? Or does it actually validate it because the residual emotional bond between you two gives him an edge when he asks for a nookie? And, would you ask your ex for a nookie, if the notion seizes you? If you do, do you expect him to accept or will you be surprised if he refuses?
To the guys, is the legendary Okafor’s law the reason you aren’t comfortable with your girlfriend spending unchaperoned time with an ex? What is your own success rate in your attempted sequels? Knowing that quite a number of chicks have poor knacks game (don’t know how I know that, must have heard it somewhere; I read too much), do you actually desire going that route with an ex, or is it just a case of docking at any port in a storm? Also, does Okafor law work ON you? Could an ex easily hit you up for one last bang?
The main reason I’m this curious is because, everyday, we are inundated with a demonization of exes. Irrespective of gender, they are either scum, cheats, good for nothing, gold diggers… The list is endless. So I wonder, with all these scummy exes and demons, who is validating Mazi Okafor’s law, and why does it feel like it’s still relevant?
I know I often ask too many questions. Humour me, I used to be a teacher. You know what to do. Kindly help answer in the comments section.