Validating Okafor’s Law of Congodynamics

Opinion

I was chatting with a friend a short while ago, and our conversation reminded me of something that my brother mentioned to me on one of those horrible trips to the market. Yes, I hate the market even though I used to tend my mother’s shop (more like stall). The noise, the smells… Urgh. Just…

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I was chatting with a friend a short while ago, and our conversation reminded me of something that my brother mentioned to me on one of those horrible trips to the market. Yes, I hate the market even though I used to tend my mother’s shop (more like stall). The noise, the smells… Urgh. Just let me stop there.

Anyway, this friend of mine was ‘singu to stupour’, thanks to the frankly admirable decision to focus on building an admittedly brilliant career. She told me her self-spun cobwebs stood a chance of being cleaned out over the yuletide period because an old boyfriend would be among the IJGB 2016 Batch ‘B’ arrivals (apparently they are like the NYSC now). Old flames would be briefly rekindled and, at the end of the festive season, doused faster than Naira’s hopes of resurging against the pound. She says he’s too flaky for her to consider attempting a full relationship again. But between the sheets, it’s worth the effort.

This leads me to my brother’s point. While driving back from the market, he put forward a very interesting equation which he called Okafor’s law of Congodynamics. 

The law states:

C1 + P = C

This means that once a Congo has been shined once (C1), it can always be shined (C∞ ) provided it was shined properly (P) the previous times.

In other words, if you’ve slept with someone before and you maybe did a good job, chances are high that you always will be able to do it again, and again, and again… *cue Barney Stinson’s voice for the echo here*

According to Urban Dictionary, “this statement applies to guys mostly. If you have been involved with a girl for a period of time and did a good job in and out of the bedroom, the belief is that you can always go to the girl at any given time and sleep with her again no matter what situation arises.”

Obviously, there are variables to consider, including but not limited to:

  • M – Marital Status
  • O – opportunity
  • F – Financial status of either party
  • S – State at which the relationship ended, and so on.

However, I have always wondered if the above theory holds true at all. Someone actually called it the doctrine of the old firewood. Hilarious, but apt.

Okafor himself is said to be a former UNILAG student who supposedly slept with over 3500 women in his youth. This I find highly dubious because UNILAG alumni have a tendency to claim undocumented urban legends.

However, UNILAG or UniKnacks aside, I’d like to look at the issue in line with relationships. In my very limited experience, it’s difficult to proffer an opinion one way or the other. I’m terrible at relationships, and I tend to not really have them so I will ‘gracefully’ excuse myself from opining on this topic. I’d rather hear/read your opinions/experiences.

So, over to you guys. For the ladies, does this “law” hold true? If you were in a convenient situation, would you sleep with your ex again? No, not for closure, you are not ‘adeleing‘ this time. Wouldn’t it mess with your head again? Isn’t it inconsistent with that annoying, but well propagated, fallacy that women only see sex emotionally? Or does it actually validate it because the residual emotional bond between you two gives him an edge when he asks for a nookie? And, would you ask your ex for a nookie, if the notion seizes you? If you do, do you expect him to accept or will you be surprised if he refuses?

To the guys, is the legendary Okafor’s law the reason you aren’t comfortable with your girlfriend spending unchaperoned time with an ex? What is your own success rate in your attempted sequels? Knowing that quite a number of chicks have poor knacks game (don’t know how I know that, must have heard it somewhere; I read too much), do you actually desire going that route with an ex, or is it just a case of docking at any port in a storm? Also, does Okafor law work ON you? Could an ex easily hit you up for one last bang?

The main reason I’m this curious is because, everyday, we are inundated with a demonization of exes. Irrespective of gender, they are either scum, cheats, good for nothing, gold diggers… The list is endless. So I wonder, with all these scummy exes and demons, who is validating Mazi Okafor’s law, and why does it feel like it’s still relevant?

I know I often ask too many questions. Humour me, I used to be a teacher. You know what to do. Kindly help answer in the comments section.

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Responses

  1. Ibiela
    Hehehe. Can’t happen with my exes cos we ended for a reason, but the jump-offs and flings (rubs chin)… In a world of minimizing body counts it’s a lot easier to just recycle.
  2. Aggie
    Most people will do it just to make sure their body count doesn’t go up. I have never done it and I don’t think I ever will. When I’m no longer in a relationship with a person, I don’t view that person sexually anymore. Maybe I’ve just not had a very good excuse to try this theory
  3. YouSee
    All this ex’s matter sef.

    I don’t think that for many of us, the only people we slept with we were in a relationship with.

    I had fuck buddys. Many fuck buddys, and I made it clear to them that this is what we were. I think this is the gist; if your fuck buddy came/comes back at some later point in life, will you knack because it was good at a former point in life?

    Buchi, hell yes! I mean, it was good. Why should I let it go? So, the equation stands true for me. You do me well, you have a very likely chance of hitting it again (without the relationship variable).

  4. Bethelbrill
    Personally i agree with the principle. It happens if the sex was good. If you have smashed once and you did good there’s an 60-80% chance you might smash again if you play your cards right
  5. Joe
    “Also, does Okafor law work ON you? Could an ex easily hit you up for one last bang”

    There’s nothing like a last bang, remember there’s an infinity in that equation.

  6. Ozzi
    Have had it work well for me a number of times …. Great sex is always well appreciated ..and if a girl too wants to test the law on me… she’s very welcome
  7. Larz
    It depends on the person. I have had sex with an ex before. We were both single and I found it empowering because this time I was the one who walked away afterwards (after the weekend). Maybe empowering is the wrong word here. I just wanted to walk away from him.
    1. Buchi Post author
      I think in most cases, it’s dependent on availability. And yes, There’s that attraction of being able to walk away knowing there’s no strings attached.
  8. Optimus Prime
    Some might argue it’s not a law but a theory. Another school of thought might say vice versa but the Okafor’s concept is very true provided a “good job” was done in the previous encounters.

    This concept also works for the women too and had you made dug deeper in this research study, you would have found out it’s called “Nkechi’s law”.

    Logically, it makes sense. Any individual who has had a dozen bomb sex sessions with a partner must have known what & what things to say or do to make such partner vulnerable to be laid.

    People’s soft spot rarely changes.

  9. Stanley
    The law is valid but not in all cases. It depends on how good the relationship was and why it ended. If it was an amicable split by mutual consent or if the break up wasn’t acrimonious then there is always the chance that the relationship can be rekindled the moment you get back in contact. In this case there isn’t much courtship involved. All it takes is for both to reminiscence about the good old days and how good you were together and once you get together again you hit it off as if you are continuing from where the last relationship when the split happened.
    Getting together also depends on the present situation of both parties involved. If either of them is not happy where they are it is easier to drift back to the love you know. For example I have an ex who is married and not happy and it is her who want to rekindle the relationship. If I encourage her she will leave her husband for me but I am not encouraging that. I want her to stick to her vows. Any time her husband cheats on her she runs back talking to me and I know if I encourage her I will be sleeping with her but I don’t want to do so.
  10. Iremide
    All exes can’t be the same unno. There was this particular ex of mine I left for about a couple of years because he doesn’t seem to know his direction of course I loved him but we were still cool after we quit the relationship. I was later in love with someone else wouldn’t say I was in a relationship with him because I wasn’t sure of “our” status… It was so
    bad that I got to see my lover just once or twice last year not to think of getting sexually involved with him n I was trynna make the loyal me proud then I remember the quote “loyalty not slavery” I went ahead to see my ex because I was starved(no cuddle, romance…) n he has been trynna hook up with me… Deep down I was like…babe, you’re single you just not sure…n it happened… The kiss, romance but we didn’t have sex 😂😂 but I got the cuddle I’ve yearned for
  11. Bella
    If it was an emotional relationship and he hurt me, even if he invented sex (not the trey songz fake type) I WILL NEVER, consenting to it means I’m a pawn, he has unbridled access and my dignity is non negotiable. If it ended amicably, very possible a rematch should suffice every now and then
    If it’s just a FWB or randoms and he’s good, then by all means, let okafors law reign

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