I was sitting in the house the other day thinking of a good friend of mine who sent her husband to the market to buy a cabbage on a Saturday afternoon. The thing that made me laugh was that the husband left and came back the next morning with the cabbage.
You might wonder what would make a man leave his house on a Saturday afternoon in search of cabbage, only to return on Sunday morning. The simple reason is that my friend is very talkative and loud. Even I can’t stand it sometimes. Do not get me wrong: she is a sweet girl with all the qualities that would make a great wife or mother. Still, the talking is too much!
Men do not like women who nag – that is one thing that we are always told. She was so angry because she was cooking and waiting for her cabbage to make coleslaw. In response, her husband switched off his phone and decided to go drinking with the boys. I guess he needed a break from the house.
You might wonder how we can get things done if we do not talk or nag. At the same time, we must remember that we are pushing our partners away with our nagging. Some of us are just loud and we cannot help it. Men want peace, quiet and love. Well, we can give all that together with a little talking.
Maybe the husband has had enough talking for the day and her sending him to the market was his way of going out. He decided to go talk to his boys and have a drink. One led to two, two led to a carry pack, a carry pack led to a cooler box and staying up the whole night. Clearly he was really not even thinking about going back to that “loud” house. He just needed to relax with the boys and forget his troubles at home.
I really felt bad for my friend. I thought I could make her see that her shouting was making her life hell. She felt her man was not helping enough around the house. He expected her to do everything and even pick up after him. She could not raise three big babies, she did not have time to herself. Clearly, she complained about everything. Each day was all the same. I knew her better than him so I could only imagine how he felt about the talking. I tried making her see how shouting was pushing him further away from the home and the result of her behaviour might not be something she would want.
Any person after a long day at work is looking forward to coming home to a loving family and playing with their kids. Imagine taking off your shoes and walking towards the bathroom and suddenly hearing “Your shoes are not a mat. Put them back where you found them!” No “Welcome home. Coffee?” Who would want such drama in their lives?
What are your thoughts on nagging in relationships? How best do women air their frustrations without pushing men away? Do you nag or have you been on the receiving end of nagging? How did you deal with it? Let’s hear your thoughts int he comments section.