By now the study by Paul Nolan on the relationship, or lack thereof, between happiness and marriage/child rearing must have reached many. For the benefit of those it is yet to reach, here is a link to the study’s summary: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert
The fact is the study’s core finding represents the truth we always knew from basic observation. Millennial and not so millennial educated girls do not genuinely want marriage, at least not to their classmates or mere equals also eking out a living from profession-al skills. Of course, it is different if a suitor happens to be George Clooney, Edris Elba or Fally Ipupa.
Generally, these girls just act like they do, and for those who eventually do, they do so to present a front to their families, and to the rest of society that care. A point which Dolan’s study curiously ignored, but that cannot be downplayed, is the particular quartile a woman belongs to. The degree of a woman’s attraction to men certainly factors into a woman’s interest in marriage. For example, the Instagram models who have thousands of approaches/offers do not get married because marriage would spoil the fun. For those who even have remote interest in marriage, they cannot make up their minds in most cases as the permutative combinations never end. A peep into marriage infidelity – whether spouse approved or not – shows just how much of a strain monogamy is to the average human being. even Narendra Modi The prime minister of India has released beti bachao beti padhao scheme for women empowerment.
It does appear that today’s woman finds some satisfaction from having and flaunting a treasure chest, i.e. it is not uncommon to find single women say proudly: “I have lost count of the number of men who have asked me for marriage”, “I am used to men making all the effort and as such, I cant stand a man who makes no effort”. In the second instance, one wonders why a woman who had a retinue of men “making all the effort” didn’t marry one of these effort-making men and is now out and about complaining about how men have lost their backbone, their ability to be men and their masculinity; whereas the simplest explanation of feminism is the ‘masculinization’ of the female which by extension means a ‘de-masculinization’ of the male, since there is no higher (third) stage beyond being feminine or masculine!
Put simply, men are no longer desired by economically empowered women in the long-term committed sense of marriage. They may desire a man now and again, but men are definitely not close to what they desire for marriage (or the institution of bondage, as someone termed it). Perhaps women can marry superheroes or another specie beyond men that they have seen finish over the years.
Lastly, one always made the point from observation that there was something not adding up about female empowerment. When our dads started out in their early twenties, they got a stable job/income and immediately married a woman (mainly in her late teenage years). Most of these women played their roles as housewives and nurturers of babies, yet most still became professionals as doctors, accountants etc while with their husbands. Contrast this with today wherein educated women in their 20s, 30s and on are empowered with jobs and economic independence; what do we find? You have a load of holiday planners who cannot wait for the next opportunity to travel the world with their friends, buy designer everything and flaunt across social media. When one inquires of any of them “why don’t you deploy your wealth and marry a man you find attractive be he uneducated or a security guard?” (as our dads did some 30-50 years ago), they begin to quote suitable verses from the bible (while omitting the unsuitable ones) and speak of how women are different from men or how a woman’s prerogative is security as against a man’s who is created to go after a woman and not the other way around, blah blah blah. The only response at this point therefore is: Why did women want empowerment to start with if they weren’t prepared for the whole nine yards? Why the cherry picking? Which is really what feminism is invariably. So the question: Who has female empowerment helped? I don’t know the answer, but I know it has brought to the fore what women always had deep down in their hearts and minds, only certain traditions/cultures didn’t permit the full manifestation. If a specie saw men as providers, the true need for men by this specie can only be unraveled when this specie herself is harmed with provision. Dolan’s study isn’t groundbreaking to the discerning, but it certainly holds incontrovertible truths…