Whose Ring Would You Accept?

A lady once said that she would rather cry in a mansion than be happy in a well furnished flat. Do you believe her? Yea of course this is a very important question especially for ladies about to choose a spouse but men are not excluded because they are affected by the decisions of the…


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A lady once said that she would rather cry in a mansion than be happy in a well furnished flat. Do you believe her? Yea of course this is a very important question especially for ladies about to choose a spouse but men are not excluded because they are affected by the decisions of the ladies.

In marriage, people always have expectations as regards who they want to spend the rest of their life with. Some of these expectations include external qualities like beauty and wealth and the internal qualities like love, commitment, honesty, care, etc.Among these, one important factor which has always influenced people’s decision is wealth.

When a lady is set for a relationship, she greatly desires love and on the part of the man, it’s his responsibility to see that the lady does not lack. Eventually if they agree to tie the nut, the man is introduced to the family of the lady and vise versa. It’s obvious that at this time, many men will equally be seeking the lady’s hand in marriage. It is now left for the lady to decide whose ring she would accept. The family now comes in, they set their own scale of standard of which wealth is normally at the top. Nobody wants his daughter or sister to get married to a poor man.

In some cases, the marital contest is between a made man and a struggling man. A made man is that man that has already acquired enough wealth before marriage maybe as a result of his struggle or an advantage from his wealthy background. Whereas a struggling man is that man that has the will and hope that he would get big in life. He already has, to an extent, the basic comfort needed to establish a family. In this contest, the made man most times showcases his wealth, while the struggling man showcases his will.

This situation however places the lady in a dilemma and she goes out to ask for suggestions from family and friends. The common response she would get is that the made man would give her all the material comfort she would ever need and will also serve as an open door for the family members and a kind of fame for the family. However, some will say that she may be considered by the family of the man to be a gold digger and expect challenges from his relations. Also, that she may have no dignity before the man after the marriage. Moreover, she will be told to go for a struggling man because he will show more love and affection for that woman that would accompany him to achieve his dreams and that she would have to face little family challenges from his family members.Others, still, will say that after the man has achieved his dreams, he could end up dropping the lady for some other side chicks.

It is even more difficult in a situation where both men come to showcase a great depth of love for the lady. Parents make their own suggestions and sometimes try to lure the lady into the one they believe to be good for her.

So please if you find yourself in this situation or if someone seeks your suggestion who will you sanction; the made man or the struggling man?


  1. LincayaD
    Hey Hilary,

    It is indeed a tough decision for us ladies to make. We want different things in life and we portray different personalities that attract what we want or the opposite. i have dated both types and i personaly prefer growing together with my partner. Riches do not impress me much but personality, character, strong will and being a peoples person. if he is rich and has all these then thank God. Otherwise my type of guy is humble and working his way through to the top like me. We call it shared motives, levels and emotions.

  2. LincayaD
    Just to add.. if parents want a rich son in law they must adopt one..i must love the person and not be drawn by his material…what if all these things fade. what will they do then. it is better to go with what your heart, mind and soul approves than listening to others.
  3. cleo
    The thing is non of the situations above guarantee a happy union. You could be in a mansion and not cry. You could be in a flat and not cry. You could be in a face me i face flat and not cry. And you could be in any of the above and cry.
    The most important thing is crying where you will be understood, respected, loved and supported. If you desire the riches by all means go for it. If you want to work your way up with him, please go for it. Marriage will one day bring out the tears. But the question “Are the tears justified after all?”
  4. Abi Sanni
    Hmm . Well, it’s always a plus to be with someone who is more than comfortable financially. But I think I most probably will go for the one who I connect more with/ love more.
  5. Jeanne
    Even if two of them show me the same amount of love, there must be one who I connect with on almost every level.
    Who ticks the important boxes. That’s the one I’m going with.

    Riches may disappear tomorrow, same way the struggling man can hit a goldmine in an instant.

    Bottomline is, they should both be emotionally and financially capable to start a family.

  6. sara
    Well, if they both love me, i’ll probably go for d richer one.
    Not because I am a gold digger or whatever sorts, but it’s basic biology. A female chooses a male that gives her offspring higher chances of survival.
    And in the long run, men have to choose between being always present for their kids or making sure their kids don’t have to do jobs as undignifying as they do.
    Plus I aim to b successful and wealthy, and I need my husband to b more successful dan I am and I dnt want to limit myself.
    I know pple say money can go in a flash, it’s true, it’s why how d wealth comes abt also matters. Blah blah blah!
    I could go on and on, but to cut d long story short, all things being equal, i’ll go for d richer one
  7. Hilary Oguaju Post author
    Marriage is a personal commitment ofcouse so I believe that the people directly involved should be left to make their own choice and bear the responsibility for it.This at least would help to avoid blames and would encourage them to manage their differences very well.
    However, financial status is a still a necessary factor.

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