Why Are You So Pressed About Transactional Sex?

Opinion

I remember when I found out who Falz was, he was that funny guy on Instagram who wore glasses without lenses, scrunched his face up as he spoke in a ridiculously hilarious accent. Later, I picked up on his music, which now thinking about it, seems to be about women and sex quite often. I…

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I remember when I found out who Falz was, he was that funny guy on Instagram who wore glasses without lenses, scrunched his face up as he spoke in a ridiculously hilarious accent. Later, I picked up on his music, which now thinking about it, seems to be about women and sex quite often. I recall when he first started in the music business, his popular song was called ‘High Class’ which was essentially about a runz babe.

With his song ‘This is Nigeria’ he seemed to be positioning himself as an artist who addressed social issues in Nigeria which is all well and good. However, he clearly has a penchant for women who engaged in sexual activities for economic benefit.  Since then, he (and his buddie Ajebutter) appear to have a fixation on ‘runz babes.’ He had that other song ‘Something Light,’ which was basically about a babe who refused to put out after he had ‘spent’ money on her, that is transactional sex. That sense of entitlement men feel when women they have ‘spent’ money on refuse to put out, that is transactional sex.

In a video that was released, Falz was promoting his album called ‘Moral Instruction’ and when a person in the audience asked why he continually takes jabs at ‘runz girls’ and slut shames them. This is a summary :

  • He was vocal about ‘detesting transactional sex’ and promised that it would be a recurring theme in his music.
  • The line that irked me the most was the derogatory tone in which he said “Feminists in the house” then went on to spew some of the most ignorant shit.
  • His grouse with feminists is that we voice out that women should have sexual agency ( even if it included sexual transactions ) and yet complain about women being objectified.
  • He went on to say that women make themselves into commodities (can’t believe people clapped at this) the woman is not the commodity, THE SEX IS. The fuck is self-objectification and commodification? His opinion pretty much is that, sex workers must accept objectification because they commodify themselves? Objectification literally means to degrade, why do sex workers have to put up with disrespect?
  • Mr. Falana also went on to say that he doesn’t address the MALE side (e.g., sugar daddies, aristos ) because if ‘he’ addresses an epidemic, he chooses the more popular, more relatable scenario which in his case is ‘runz babes’, I was like huhn?

First off, LOL.

My conclusion is Misogynist Falana doesn’t know what counts as an epidemic.

Second, women can do whatever they want with THEIR bodies, which is what agency is about. Why are you so bothered by what and how another person makes a living? It’s not even a case of it not harming anybody; it just isn’t any of your business to castigate sex-workers. You don’t have to support something, but when your opinions cause the people in question harm, then it becomes problematic.

Mr. I-hate-transactional-sex had a useless and frankly the weakest excuse in the book for why he only goes for runz babes. It was illogical, he giggled through his ‘lack of a point,’ and he obviously had nothing to say. He had ABSOLUTELY nothing to say about the party who provides a demand for transactional sex.

Falz-the-not-so-smart guy is proof that you can say something that is utterly wrong with confidence and people will assume it to be reasonable. When it came to addressing men, who engage with sex-workers, he couldn’t make a complete sentence. So, tell me, how logical is it to attack the supply of commercial service without acknowledging the demand. It is terribly convenient to broach the subject by pointing fingers at women, the international playbook men pull from.

Transactional sex, sex work, exists for a reason. Sex work has existed for years, and it is NOT going anywhere.

What I find to be really wild is the hypocrisy of Nigerians. Now you want to talk about morals? Nigeria is a profoundly immoral country, and it has absolutely NOTHING to do with two CONSENTING adults engaging in transactional sex, it has NOTHING to do with sex work. Organized religion and a false moral compass have done absolutely nothing to alleviate the deep issues the society is facing, but you want to apply them to sex work?

The moral high ground people stand on when it comes to sex as if it’s something so sacred when we sex is the tool by which women in the society are devalued, how sacred is that? Women who have sex outside of the confines marriage are often regarded as devaluing themselves because you know a woman must ‘keep herself pure’ for the man she marries so he can elevate her to the status of wife.

The thing is men feel entitled to sex, and it baffles lots of men that women would attach a fee to something they expect to be given to them freely. For these people, I say, stay pressed!

On his album, he addressed issues such as domestic violence, child abuse, the declining educational standard, shady politics, scammers and a host of other issues which are valid problems that the Nigerian society faces but sex work? Really? On the same list as domestic violence? Things that hurt people physically, mentally, financially? HOW? Make it make sense, please. Sex is not one-dimensional, it has various contexts, it can be for pleasure, for procreation, transactional and it can also be a crime, and the fact that sex-work is regarded is criminal is just BEYOND me.

With all due disrespect, transactional sex, sex work, exists because a need is being met, it is work, it is providing a service. Sex work has existed for years, and it is NOT going anywhere.

A lot of this pseudo hatred for sex work is SIMPLY because people perceive sex workers to be only women.

The fact of the matter is, ALL relationships are transactional, and that is that on that.

 

Responses

  1. Mr. Me
    Oh please…spare me the long talk abeg, I used to enjoy reading ur stuff but from the comment section its obvious that like me most people didn’t finish reading ur “whatever u call this”
    Funny how u left out the song “Child of the world” where he taught young girls that no matter what leads you to sell sex for money that the end isn’t pretty.
    Nne abeg instead of calling out falz and men in general face ur hustle of writing about sex.
    Thank you…
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    1. S Post author
      I feel like your wanting to be ‘spared’ is redundant because you on your free will decided to open this article, so perhaps the article needs to be spared from you.
      Your comment has only helped weed you out, clearly the you aren’t the target and that is perfectly okay.
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  2. Simi
    Too long, didnt finish..too much faux outrage…that’s the way it goes these days
    Let him have his opinion and you can have yours but no need for all this gra gra.
    1+
    1. S Post author
      Call it whatever, what you seem not to recognize is that in accepting a man’s stance on women’s agency sexual or otherwise, you are pulling those women down.
      Audre Lorde’s quote “I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own” is the perfect example for this scenario.
      You are not automatically exempted from the policing and biases of men because you feel like you aren’t in the demographic of sex workers. It all boils down to having agency.
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