A world renowned female preacher recently took to Instagram advising young ladies to always take a plate of food to their boyfriends or husbands when at events, even before they serve themselves. As you would expect several women decided to engage in arguments for and against her opinion. ‘Why couldn’t he get himself a plate of food? Why was she expected to serve him instead of serving herself? Why couldn’t he serve her prior to serving himself? Why should women display submission even in courtships? Was serving him an act of submission, respect, or good manners?’
Submission in marriage is often preached in Christian circles and is directed by the Bible. When discussed, it often raises the question; how does this instruction apply in the modern day marriage? In the 21st-century when women are working twice as hard as men, and earning more as well, is this instruction still applicable? Is the Bible outdated? Or is it ageless?
However, this submission conundrum is not new. It is one that I have heard women and men argue about since I was a young child. And it would seem like women in biblical times were not happy about it either. So the question remains; Why should a woman submit to her husband? Is there any benefit in submission? How can a feminist husband expect a submissive wife?
I will proceed to list five arguments I have encountered for and against the submission issue in marriage with the hope that we may validate and nullify a few of such arguments.
1) Who has the money? There seems to be an argument going around about the fact that seeing as men were the main bread winners in biblical times, submission was advisable. However, in the 21st century this law can be modified depending on who the major breadwinner is. Some suggest that if the woman has the money, and brings home the bacon, the husband is responsible for the cooking and serving of the bacon.
2) Feminism; many suggest that this is an equality issue. This line of thought implies that submission means to be subservient and oppressed. Some feminists within the church who are pro submission say that it is in fact not an equality issue, but about role recognition. The wife is supposed to be a ‘helper’ and not dominate or rule over her husband.
3) Another school of thought reminds us that the Proverbs 31 woman, was actually a working woman. She worked in the home both as a wife and mother and in the secular world as a business woman. So if she could submit to her husband, so can today’s woman. This argument suggests that the modern day woman cannot use career goals and aspirations as an excuse to avoid submission.
4) Husbands to be like Jesus; I heard someone once say that the Bible asks husbands to love their wives to the point of dying for them, however it doesn’t ask wives to do the same. I suppose women have an easier role in that respect. But how many modern men would willingly have a headache for their wives, let alone die in her place, regardless of whether she was a ‘good wife’ or not?
5) Bible; The final one suggests that a Christian marriage is based on principles that sets it apart from others, just like the Christian life; hence submission is not an option, but an instruction.
So, what do you think? Which school of thought do you agree with? Have you heard more persuasive arguments, than those listed above? Is submission a redundant law or is it necessary in today’s broken world? If you are a woman, do you submit or intend to? As a man do you expect submission? Do you find submission more attractive in a spouse or future spouse? Ladies, if at a wedding do you serve ‘Bae’ small chops before you settle yourself?
Do share your thoughts below! You know Dami loves to chat.
Until next time.
Image via examiner.com