I fell seriously ill when I was 14 years old. The kind of illness that scares your parents out of their wits. I had been given some drugs from the pharmacy because at first, my Dad thought that it wasn’t so serious. But few hours after he left for work, I could not even walk and had a splitting headache.
I attempted to get on a bike to go the hospital with my younger brother but almost fell at the stairs in front of my neighbor’s house… and that was when he saw me… my neighbor’s husband, that is. Of course, no one in their right senses would see a seriously sick young girl and leave her to die so he assisted me to his car and took me to the hospital.
On the way to the hospital though, he asked me if I was pregnant. I answered him and told him that I wasn’t but the question threw me off balance and seemed odd to me because I knew nothing about sex… then. I even told my parents about the incident when I was stronger because it was just absurd that he could look at small me and ask if I was pregnant.
I was recently ill again before I passed out from NYSC and the first thing the nurses and doctor asked me was if I was pregnant. And, of course, I said no.
And the next question was, “When last did you see your period?” I was glad that I could look them in the eye, give them dates and be certain about the fact that any pregnancy test that comes out positive would just mean that I was to be another Mary.
Every time I think about this “are you pregnant?” question being the first thing that’s asked a single girl when she’s sick, I get sad.
Why does everyone assume that every single lady is sexually active? Even when you say no, I haven’t had sex in years, they look at you like you are lying.
Sometimes I don’t blame them though. A few years ago I would indeed have had cause to be concerned about whether or not I was pregnant if I fell ill.
Yes, I eventually got to know what sex is all about when I was in the University… got into the experimenting stage and the works… got involved and was burnt and then discovered that when God says we should stay off pre-marital sex, it’s actually for our own good.
So I’ve been celibate for some years. Hence I’m back to the place where the “are you pregnant” question hits me in bizarre ways.
A friend of mine recently spoke to me about how her male colleagues ask her to tell them if she’s not having sex and whether “she’s not eating what everybody is eating” and I felt like pinching the eyes of those men.
I understand that yes, the world has gone to rot but not everyone in it has gone to rot with it. There’s still a remnant of ladies who are keeping their bodies pure for Godly reasons and some because they’ve tasted the pre-marital side of sex and realized that it actually doesn’t do them any good.
I think some men have so dealt with some ladies in the aspect of sex; used their bodies for years and years with fake promises of marriage – a marriage that never came and such ladies have wised up and vowed not to have any man enter their holies of holies except a man who has gotten the legal rights to their bodies – the rights gotten at the altar before God and man.
Whatever may be the reason why some ladies have decided to be celibate before marriage, my point in all of these is – yes, we still have ladies who do not have little boyfriends by the side – boyfriends who service their bodies (in the words of some razz men).
I think it’s unfair to group every woman into the same category and see every woman as a loose one who you can dangle a few naira in front of and you’d have her in your bed by the evening of the same day you met her.
I am one of the ladies who have understood the truth that sex isn’t merely a skin to skin transaction – sex is a covenant in which soul ties are forged and our bodies, the temple of the Holy Spirit are desecrated and made impure by being joined to one who isn’t our husband.
I am one of the ladies who have been celibate for five years running and will continue to stay celibate till God brings their man to them…
So it’s simply wrong for the world to group all single ladies into the category of ladies who are eating the forbidden fruit and as such, you can hit on her – even in the office – and expect her to give into your advances because “she does it anyway”.
It saddens me that the bodies of ladies have been reduced to a mere commodity – one men can hit at and gain access to at any time with the currency of a few sleek words, dinner at a fancy restaurant, gift of an iPhone and promises of “more to come”.
My darling sisters, what’s happening to us?
We are worth more than this.
Our bodies weren’t made to service every Tom and Harry’s bed, they were made to serve the Lord in purity and holiness and yes, even in our workplaces.
Doesn’t it also sadden you that your worth has been so relegated to nothingness, so much so that even in a professional environment where your worth should be predicated on the value you bring to the company; your body is being analyzed as the medium of exchange?
I believe all of these ills began because we lost sense of our true worth in Christ and it will stop when we regain our true value again.
Your body is not meant to be a commodity to be sampled everywhere you go.
You are a treasure worth more than rubies.
Not everyone should have access to your holies of holies. God took special care in crafting you, you know?
And remember that when He finished crafting our mother Eve, He gave her to a man who didn’t just want to take advantage of her body, but wanted to cherish her and love her the right way before the eyes of God and man.
Can we go back to that place sisters?
That place where we treat ourselves and our bodies with respect and also set the tone for how the men around us should treat us…
That place where we realize that though we may not have a lot of godly men in the world anymore, we can still let the less-than-godly ones know that they can’t expect to have our bodies because they bought us ice-cream or bought us a car.
We have too many cocky men rolling around now… men confident in their looks and money and not in their content because few ladies know that it’s the content in them that matters.
Can we decide to drop all that today sisters?
I’m not judging anyone who’s still caught in the trap of de-valuing their bodies because I was like you before. Meeting a man online and spending the night with him… Sleeping with him because he said he will marry me… I have done all that and then I realized when I found Christ that I am worth more than all those mistakes.
God has better in store for me than a man whose only goal is to get between my legs.
In fact, God has better for me than men who’d rather have the milk for free than buy the cow… and I believe that He has better for you too.
This is a call to you all my fellow sisters.
We still have single ladies who are not having a little sex by the side.
We still have ladies who are celibate and waiting for God’s chosen spouse for them.
Perhaps you’d care to join us too?
And perhaps someday, the first question that will be asked a sick single lady will not be “are you pregnant?”
I hope we get the true value and worth of our bodies back again. I sincerely hope so.
Please comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.
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