When You’ve Had Enough Of Their ‘Grammar’…


“GNLD, come off it guys! Why do you always do this?!” Those were my exact thoughts after I left the GNLD Benin office a while back. Even now, whenever I hear ‘GNLD’, I vehemently ask those questions and constantly get tempted to call them vile names. I’ve given in a few times if I’m being…


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“GNLD, come off it guys! Why do you always do this?!”

Those were my exact thoughts after I left the GNLD Benin office a while back. Even now, whenever I hear ‘GNLD’, I vehemently ask those questions and constantly get tempted to call them vile names. I’ve given in a few times if I’m being honest.

In case you don’t know what GNLD stands for, it’s Golden Neo Life Diamite. They are some kind of health and wellness company involved in the sale of medicinal products. They are all about networking – selling products and trying to recruit members to gain points which entitles them to some percentage of any amount the new recruits make through sales. Something like that. In other words, as a staffer, the more people you bring in, the ”richer” you before.

But the problem I have with them is that when you meet with their members, rather than tell you the real deal, they speak too much grammar. The way they speak highly of their company, you’ll think you’re going to work for the World Bank. They preach so well, they could sell ice to an Eskimo.

So it was on a cool Saturday afternoon, my brother gave me a flyer. Apparently he had been given copies by a random person on the street. The information on the flyer was for job seekers. Job seekers were directed to text their profile to a certain mobile number. Even though my brother wasn’t working at the time, he didn’t give a hoot about it but I did.

After sending my details, a couple days later, I got invited to a certain address. ‘’What exactly is this invite for, interview or what? I asked with so much curiosity’’. They wouldn’t say. ‘’Just come’’ was the reply. With only such vague information, like biblical Moses, I zoomed off not knowing where I was going or what specifically I was going to do.

As I got to the address, it was a familiar building. I began to have some sense of déjà vu – It seemed I had been there 4 years prior. ‘’Could this be those annoying drug-selling preachers?” I thought. However, I gave them the benefit of the doubt.

Upon getting to their office, I was directed to one hall – a very rowdy hall. Apparently, they managed to lure many others. Shortly afterwards, they asked us to split into groups for some kind of orientation which was delivered by one of their staff.

As he went on about how rich we were about to become if we joined, I couldn’t help but look very closely at him to find any sign of richness. I was utterly disappointed. What I observed was summed up in two words: ‘’haggard’’ and ‘’scruffy’’. In fact the dude’s outfit looked like a collection of hand-me-downs.

By this time, it dawned on me that they were the same people I had encountered in the past. I had been hoodwinked.

From then on, I was not interested in a single word the guy said. I began looking for the slightest opportunity to abscond. It never came till the orientation session ended. When we were asked to take our seats in another section of the hall, I simply excused myself to go ‘’use the toilet’’. As I left, some other staff approached me with alacrity. Apparently, they weren’t convinced but I didn’t care, not after they had wasted my time trying to convince me selling some obscure drugs in the streets of Benin will make me a millionaire.

As I stepped out of the building, disappointedly so, I hadn’t gone far when I saw another vacancy poster. Even though they gave a vague description of the job on offer, what attracted me was the per hour payment. Very strange in Nigeria. And I thought; ‘’per hour payment in Nigeria? Too good to be true’’.

I quickly dialled the number on the flyer and was told I was so lucky to be their last caller they’re be invited for interview. I was scheduled for interview the following day and asked to come with a few documents. No specific address was given but they told me to call again for directions as soon as I get to one popular junction in Benin, it was a very open place by the way.

I took my jobless self there the next day and it didn’t take long to notice that the junction wasn’t far from the GNLD area I had visited the previous day. I dialled the number for directions as I had been told. The guy on the phone said the address is only a walking distance from where I was and suggested I keep moving.

As I approached the GNLD building I called again to ask if he worked for the company, he gave a negative answer. He however told me to locate a certain number on the street. Sadly, I traced that number to the said number to the GNLD building!

When the guy called to know if I had found the address, all I said was; “YOUR FATHER!’’


Have you ever had a frustrating experience with a prospective employer telling you “stories that touch”? Or do you disagree with the writer based on a pleasant experience with companies like GNLD? You know what to do – express you.




  1. Olubukola
    I have not had any of the experiences above simply because;

    1) I don’t look for jobs through flyers or vacancy posters – trust me, “good/valid companies” never advertise that way.

    2) I immediately delete text messages asking me to come for an interview “somewhere” for a position that I either did not apply for or is not clearly stated.

    This is naija oh. May you not fall into the hands of the evil one just because you need a job.

  2. Seun
    GNLD like Herbalife and others are pyramid schemes or multilevel marketing. There’s a reason those guys aren’t being upfront. There’s usually not much money to make from seelling their products, the real intention is to get more people to sign up in the hope of earning commission on them and getting points and then using those points to stockpile crap products on the ‘cheap’ so you can sell them for more profit. The problem is that no one is willing to buy such, since every potential buyer is already selling. I can’t prove the maths but I’ve read that you can only go 13 levels in those multilevel marketing programs and you’ll run out of people, in the entire world. I’ll advice you watch John Oliver’s deep digging into multilevel marketing.

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