If You’ve Ever Been In Love, I Have A Few Questions For You
“This thing called love.” Na so dem dey start.
Many have shared their stories. In one way or the other, they document how falling in love has shaped them: how it made them feel, changed their perspective, their attitude, even their very being. Some even come on this very platform to express them. We just had one post about the things one is never told before falling in love. Then, of course, the things they’ve said during the course of being in love, and those they’d never get to say (part 1, 2, 3…).
However today, I’ve come to join bad gang. You see, I too, want to share with you my truth. My experiences, the very things that have… Forget all that. Let’s just get right into it because, if you know me, then you know I have questions. And since Sway doesn’t seem to have the answers, maybe you guys will.
1. Where do y’all get these butterflies that you feel?
Seriously. Almost every other love or even “like” story references butterflies being felt in the stomach. First, why does the stomach even have monopoly on butterflies? Why not the heart or something? Are you guys sure you’re not just hungry? Because imagine you’re finally getting to spend time with that person you’re crushing on for the season (and we know it’s for the season, since it’s only butterflies that you’re feeling). You’ve picked a venue (read restaurant because what else?). And you’ve picked your outfit. You get to the venue, you’re walking up to him/her, and you begin to feel something. In your stomach. UMMMMMMMM YOU ARE HUNGRY BRO!!! It’s just your conscience trying to make a final decision on that menu you checked out online.
2. Do you really lose all sensibility?
Mba, abeg no. I admit to making terrible decisions, after all I’m not Jesus. But guys, all this “My heart skips, I forget my name” stuff… Wawu. I honestly, truly have never felt that one.
3. Do you really smile sheepishly to yourself, for no apparent reason?
This question is very important o, because we need to ask if madness has entered the matter. Okay, so maybe this one has happened to me before. I still think it’s because I make myself laugh so much, but I’ll shut up for now.
4. Do you suddenly lose interest in anyone and everyone else?
I’ve heard this gist that when you’re in love, everyone else becomes unattractive because bae is the only one you want to be with. LOOOOOOL KEEP LYING TO YOURSELF. I mean, I understand feeling so strongly about someone that they almost become the center of your universe (not me sha) but you people that will now come and say you don’t see anyone else, or find any other person attractive really baffle me. Are you blind or what?
5. Do you really become so overwhelmed that you can’t speak?
God will not allow anyone from any village to use my voice in the name of love. Y’all can keep that.
… And lastly…
6. Are you the fosssst???
Man, you people are just extra. Is it only you? Will you be the first to love? But you’ll come here and be using phrases like “Capture my mind, body and soul” or “My palms get sweaty”, or my all time favorite “My everything”. Okay. We have heard. Food is my own everything, so….
Anyway, that’s it folks! This was made in good fun and is, of course, somewhat exaggerated. However, I do feel that these claims often spring from being in love with the idea of love and, more importantly, the performance of it, than actually being in love. Not to trivialise or invalidate what people feel, but I do wonder to what extent our depiction of love has been overly romanticised.
With that being said, if at all there’s anything you think I missed on this list, any phrase you’ve heard that just didn’t sit right with your soul, do not be shy at to use that comment section to express you. Until next time!
P.S. Nobody should look for my trouble and start asking who broke my heart. I’m not playing with you people.