If You’ve Ever Been In Love, I Have A Few Questions For You

Opinion

“This thing called love.” Na so dem dey start. Many have shared their stories. In one way or the other, they document how falling in love has shaped them: how it made them feel, changed their perspective, their attitude, even their very being. Some even come on this very platform to express them. We just had…

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“This thing called love.” Na so dem dey start.

Many have shared their stories. In one way or the other, they document how falling in love has shaped them: how it made them feel, changed their perspective, their attitude, even their very being. Some even come on this very platform to express them. We just had one post about the things one is never told before falling in love. Then, of course, the things they’ve said during the course of being in love, and those they’d never get to say (part 1, 2, 3…).

However today, I’ve come to join bad gang. You see, I too, want to share with you my truth. My experiences, the very things that have… Forget all that. Let’s just get right into it because, if you know me, then you know I have questions. And since Sway doesn’t seem to have the answers, maybe you guys will.

1. Where do y’all get these butterflies that you feel?

Seriously. Almost every other love or even “like” story references butterflies being felt in the stomach. First, why does the stomach even have monopoly on butterflies? Why not the heart or something? Are you guys sure you’re not just hungry? Because imagine you’re finally getting to spend time with that person you’re crushing on for the season (and we know it’s for the season, since it’s only butterflies that you’re feeling). You’ve picked a venue (read restaurant because what else?). And you’ve picked your outfit. You get to the venue, you’re walking up to him/her, and you begin to feel something. In your stomach. UMMMMMMMM YOU ARE HUNGRY BRO!!! It’s just your conscience trying to make a final decision on that menu you checked out online.

2. Do you really lose all sensibility?

Mba, abeg no. I admit to making terrible decisions, after all I’m not Jesus. But guys, all this “My heart skips, I forget my name” stuff… Wawu. I honestly, truly have never felt that one.

3. Do you really smile sheepishly to yourself, for no apparent reason?

This question is very important o, because we need to ask if madness has entered the matter. Okay, so maybe this one has happened to me before. I still think it’s because I make myself laugh so much, but I’ll shut up for now.

4. Do you suddenly lose interest in anyone and everyone else?

I’ve heard this gist that when you’re in love, everyone else becomes unattractive because bae is the only one you want to be with. LOOOOOOL KEEP LYING TO YOURSELF. I mean, I understand feeling so strongly about someone that they almost become the center of your universe (not me sha) but you people that will now come and say you don’t see anyone else, or find any other person attractive really baffle me. Are you blind or what?

5. Do you really become so overwhelmed that you can’t speak?

God will not allow anyone from any village to use my voice in the name of love. Y’all can keep that.

… And lastly…

6. Are you the fosssst???

Man, you people are just extra. Is it only you? Will you be the first to love? But you’ll come here and be using phrases like “Capture my mind, body and soul” or “My palms get sweaty”, or my all time favorite “My everything”. Okay. We have heard. Food is my own everything, so….

__________________

Anyway, that’s it folks! This was made in good fun and is, of course, somewhat exaggerated. However, I do feel that these claims often spring from being in love with the idea of love and, more importantly, the performance of it, than actually being in love. Not to trivialise or invalidate what people feel, but I do wonder to what extent our depiction of love has been overly romanticised.

With that being said, if at all there’s anything you think I missed on this list, any phrase you’ve heard that just didn’t sit right with your soul, do not be shy at to use that comment section to express you. Until next time!

P.S. Nobody should look for my trouble and start asking who broke my heart. I’m not playing with you people.

Responses

  1. Funmi Ogunlusi
    LOL I found this quite funny.

    P.S. This is what I meant by looking for a different angle on even popular topics. This is about love but is slightly making fun of it, which makes it memorable at least unlike yet another rant about heartbreak.

  2. thetoolsman
    Come Temi, who broke your (other heart)?
    Personally, I do agree with you that our idea of love has been overly romanticised (Blame not the media). but then again, isn’t it this same media (maybe not visual media) that thought us how to express this love?

    Sure we know we have always known what love is, thats why all our local languages have words to describe it but dig a little deeper and you’ll realize that we never really had ways of capturing the expression of that emotion until the people from that other part of the world came to show us and I guess it just stuck since then.

    PS: I tried to translate “butterflies in your tummy” to yoruba while writing this.

    1. Hephie Brown
      labalaba nbe ninu ikun mi* buhahahaahaha that’s just wrong!!

      Abeg love is not overly anything..I love love..I don’t feel all that but the greatest of them.. the labalaba, the smiling sheepishly for no reason in the middle of work, having space in my heart for no one else.. Leave us to feel our thing.. some people never have addictions or excesses, some people never make mistakes, some people never cry, some people never hate, some people just, never. You dear have never really fallen in love and may never will (media definition of love that is, but i hope u do and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. As long as you are happy with your lot in romance..

    2. Temi Niran Post author
      I knew someone would look for my trouble, it had to be you. On the media influencing how we express love, I definitely agree. I think this is even more true for the time we are currently living in. You should write about this. Thanks! “labalaba ni inu e”
  3. Nosa
    But really, who did you dirty?
    you gotta tell us someday

    I can only speak for 3 and 4
    3. YES!!!! Just thinking about such person can make me start smiling like crazy. I guess it because i’m very passive so getting me to really laugh is hardwork but yea, this is true

    4. i choose to lose interest in other people out of respect to my partner
    this is probably why i’m currently single, too many interesting people for me to now choose to just be interested in one

    so you gonna tell us who did you dirty?

    1. Temi Niran Post author
      Wee you keep quiettttt! As for your number 4, please I need more explanation. Aren’t you just naturally attracted to whomever you’re attracted to? How then do you make the choice to lose interest? I don’t gerrit
      1. Nosa
        Of course, you are naturally attracted to who you are attracted to. But attraction grows, interest increases. and it is only possible when you feed that attraction and actively engage that interest. Being with a partner just means you have to choose not to consciously feed that attraction to other people, so in the long run, interest is lost because you chose not to feed it
  4. Tejflow
    Looool

    Everything you mentioned only applies to the “in love” stage. It’s the beginning, when a lot of things are still new and the sense of mystery and intrigue is at its peak. It’s the “in love” stage that we feel all these. Once the butterflies calm down and the zigi zigi feeling reduces and you still want to be with that person, then you have transitioned from the “in love” phase to the “love” phase. And in the “love” phase, all these things you have mentioned go don calm down or disappear sef.

    Butterflies in tummy refers to sexual chemistry, mostly lust related, a deep sense of attraction to the special one.

    Everyone will feel the “in love” jigi jigi though at some point. No one will be spared. That’s what makes us choose the special one from a pack or a bunch. It’s what separates the real deal from the chaff.

  5. Cavey
    Temi, be there swatting butterflies and questioning our inner Harley Quins o. At this rate, maybe you and @nosa will end up together since you two like to form ‘cynic’ wen we all know you’re not. Like said, LEAVE US AND OUR BUTTERFLIES ALONE :p
  6. redforx
    Lol, good one you have here.

    Num 👏 ber 👏 four 👏!

    I wasn’t lying to myself but even Stevie Wonder wouldn’t have done what I did. Mine got so bad I fell out with my hommies. I kept on suffering this tunnel-vision sh*t until my ex put a knife through my heart. It just felt like that moment when H. Clinton found out she had lost to D. Trump.

    Now, I believe anyone who does this is ‘stupid in love’ cos mehn, you have to open those eyes and notice people around you. Like you rightly asked, ‘are you the fossst?’

    You murdered this piece. Well done. 😊

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